TangoCharlie
Thursday 25th September 2008 00:46 | Summer Story |
I guessed reading New Year, New Hope that Harry's 'secret' meetings with Dumbledore, the things he could only discuss with Ron and Hermione, and the fact that Harry started distancing himself from Ginny a bit was in reference to Horcruxes, and now that you've referred to the ring I guess my suspicions are confirmed.
I think it's an interesting way of bringing the universe you have created in your previous stories more closely in line with canon, to some extent weaving the two together and finding a compromise... I'm interested to see how it goes, because it seems like a tough balance to manage!!
Also, is there any significance to Neville and Harry having suites? Is it just while they're at Hogwarts during the holidays? See, I'm too impatient... I better hurry up and read on! |
| Thursday 25th September 2008 01:00 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
I decided at the end of NYNH that it was getting too out of date with canon. I therefore looked for ways of bringing at least Book 6 canon into the story and Harry's meetings with Dumbledore were one way to bring the story into compliance once again. Since I'm currently writing chapters 29 through 32 you have quite a while to decide whether I've been successful or not.
About the suites... I wanted Harry and Neville to have some sense of privacy while they stayed at the school during the summer. They don't get all that much privacy in their dormitory during the school year and the suites were a way Harry could have a room of his own in a place he feels is home. It's almost like Mrs Weasley giving him Bill's old room in HBP. To find out more about the suites you'll have to wait for my unposted chapters eighteen and nineteen. I know I'm mean, but my betas have real lives, too, you know
I'm very glad you continue to like my story.
Chapter Sixteen should be up shortly. |
GhostWriter
Sunday 11th November 2007 18:15 | Summer Story |
Nicely done, Arnel!
I like the idea of in a stylish Muggle business suit! I thought Harry's departure scene hit all of the right notes. Nice character development with Neville. It fits in nicely with what JKR did in the last book.
Hope to see the next chapter soon. |
| Tuesday 13th November 2007 00:23 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
| One of my betas wanted me to take out Dumbledore's business suit, saying that was totally out of character, but I pointed out that in HBP Dumbledore did wear a suit (albiet a rather colorful one) and that this was Dumbledore's one concession to trying to make Vernon Dursley feel a little more at ease. I'm glad you like the departure and Neville scenes. They were my favorite to write in this chapter. Thanks for your review. |
harry_ginnyfan
Thursday 8th November 2007 19:43 | Summer Story |
Great chapter!! Keep on writing!
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| Thursday 8th November 2007 20:32 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
| I'm definitely writing. In fact I'm on chapter nine right now. Thanks for the vote of confidence. |
Melindaleo
Wednesday 7th November 2007 10:41 | Summer Story |
| Yay for Harry being back at Hogwarts! I hope he gets to see some Weasleys soon to cheer him up! I really do despise Vernon and Petunia. That memory of what happened to his blanket made me all sniffly! |
| Wednesday 7th November 2007 13:20 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
Now that Harry is back at Hogwarts he'll have to wait until Chapter 8 for some Weasleys to show up. However, the wait is worth it.
As for the Dursleys, writing that memory only cemented my loathing for Petunia and Vernon; I think taking a child's security item and not giving it back is too mean for words and seemed just the thing to illicit comments such as yours from my readers. I'm glad you think I have them well in character.
Thanks for reviewing. |
alzeeb
Wednesday 7th November 2007 10:35 | Summer Story |
a good start to continue your stories, just a couple of things i like to ask/point out, sorry.
there was no mention of horcruxes in new year, new hope. i just thought it weird to bring them in now.
Dobby's speech is a wee bit different then how he spoke to harry in this chapter. he alwasy refers to himself in the 3rd person as in " dobby will show harry potter his rooms" which you wrote correctly, but then you have him saying " I is " rather than "Dobby is "
sorry for being a git, i am enjoying your stories and am waiting eagerly for the next update. i'll understand if you delete this post, i would lol.
thanks Alan |
| Wednesday 7th November 2007 12:59 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
Alan,
No need to apologize for being an eagle-eyed reader. I appreciate anything that can make my stories more believable.
You're right about there being no mention of Horcruxes in NYNH. That's because that story was started pre-HBP and took me nearly thirty months to complete. Also, the story is told through Ginny's perspective and it was stressed throughout HBP that only Ron and Hermione should know about the Horcruxes. If you go back and read the last chapter and the Epilogue of NYNH you'll see that Ginny notices Harry's absences from the common room and discoveres that he's conferencing with Dumbledore over something he can only tell Ron and Hermione. That is my illusion to the Horcruxes in that story and I've tried to carry that theme through to this one as well. So whenever we get a Harry chapter, we can know about the Horcruxes, but if it's one from Ginny's POV she's still in the dark so to speak.
Your observations about Dobby's speech patterns are very helpful. I thought my beta team had caught all my errors, but you are absolutely right. I took a long time with Dobby's speeches because so much of what you see as his speech pattern in fan fiction is wrong, such as Dobby saying, "Harry Potter, sir, I is taking you to your rooms." There's a lot going on in that sentence and even if one thing is corrected, something else sounds wrong and/or is wrong but to correct it would only make it worse! I have definitely learned a lot about writing Dobby from your suggestions. Thanks.
I'm really glad you took the time to point these things out. It shows me how much you like my writing and stories. Thank you for taking the time to give me some constructive criticism. |
Grandma Kate
Wednesday 7th November 2007 02:53 | Summer Story |
This chapter is beautifully paced. The section at the Dursley's filled me with sadness for what might have been.
I was struck by how right the final sentence feels-
Time passed quickly and before he knew it, Harry was back in his rooms, contentedly snuggled under the covers of his bed. For now, he was home. |
| Wednesday 7th November 2007 06:41 | Summer Story (Author Response) |
| I'm so glad you liked the chapter, especially the flashback and the last sentence. I must admit that I was a bit choked up as I wrote Harry's memory. Thanks for your review. I always look forward to what you think of my chapters. |
