dun8y
Saturday 7th June 2014 07:13 | Vis Insita |
I absolutely love Luna! I love how you have her and Neville together, I think that's what we all wanted to be confirmed in jks books. I find it strange seeing Neville's grandmother being referred to as grandmum, it isn't a term we tend to use in the UK, but that is not a criticism, just an observation. (Generally, your English is good, but I am a fussy so and so, and do 'translate' when an Americanism sneaks in)
Looking forward go continuing this story. Thank you so much x |
| Tuesday 17th June 2014 23:07 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
I absolutely love Luna! I love how you have her and Neville together, I think that's what we all wanted to be confirmed in jks books.
Well, not all of us, but it did seem likely for awhile. I don't remember if it's as clear in the original version of TTM or if I added to it in the revised edition, but the implication is that Scott changed the outcome, that Luna and Neville may have ended up with Rowling's choice of significant others if not for Scott. It's also implied, I think during Harry's birthday party, that Scott did it entirely for his own convenience.
I find it strange seeing Neville's grandmother being referred to as grandmum, it isn't a term we tend to use in the UK, but that is not a criticism, just an observation. (Generally, your English is good, but I am a fussy so and so, and do 'translate' when an Americanism sneaks in)
I went through about six betas before giving up, I think about two or three of them were British, but I haven't had any help with Briticisms since the first half of TTM. I do my best, but I'm sure a native notices a lot of little things I'm not aware of. Being a huge fan of Spaced does not make me a Londoner, unfortunately. It can be hard to find the UK equivalents for some American slang. 'Grandmum' is probably just an extrapolation of my own invention. Should I reedit these chapter, I'll be sure to expunge it. |
kopfsalat2000
Wednesday 22nd May 2013 13:59 | Vis Insita |
Does "Arcadia" refer to n.4 Privet Drive?
I like the adult Scott, it makes for a nice change. |
| Saturday 25th May 2013 19:38 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
'Arcadia' refers to the whole of the suburbia, but also Privet Drive. It's a sarcastic title.
As an adult, Scott is written a little differently, yes. |
narumi
Tuesday 12th February 2013 22:02 | Vis Insita |
| Interesting. I like the way you've changed some things completely, but left others very close to the same. I did spend a good bit of time wondering why Scott couldn't just pull Harry through an aperture, but then I figured he probably couldn't, though I can't remember you ever specifying as such. Would make for a rather dull and short chapter though, I'm sure! |
| Wednesday 13th February 2013 13:56 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
Interesting. I like the way you've changed some things completely, but left others very close to the same.
There's an internal consistency to the plot, as opposed to relying entirely on the books. Most of the things that change are because of Scott's actions, but all the talk about the shape and chaos isn't just filler. Nothing happens exactly the same way twice.
I did spend a good bit of time wondering why Scott couldn't just pull Harry through an aperture, but then I figured he probably couldn't, though I can't remember you ever specifying as such. Would make for a rather dull and short chapter though, I'm sure!
There is actually a reason behind that, not just 'because the plot demands it' logic. I haven't actually discussed it in the story, but it's another of the sometimes unexplained limitations that guide Scott's actions. |
kopfsalat2000
Sunday 14th October 2012 18:15 | Vis Insita |
An excellent Neville/Luna scene. Really good work!
It seems very important to you to make it clear that the adult Scott is different... That surprises me, but no doubt you'll have your reasons...
The story's picking up speed, that's good. Thanks for sharing! |
| Monday 15th October 2012 17:53 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
An excellent Neville/Luna scene. Really good work!
I'm glad you liked it. I was hoping people would, but it didn't seem to get many comments.
It seems very important to you to make it clear that the adult Scott is different... That surprises me, but no doubt you'll have your reasons...
Not THAT different. Just remember it was all in the context of Harry butting heads with Lila.
The story's picking up speed, that's good. Thanks for sharing!
And thank you for reviewing! |
RubeusHagrid
Sunday 27th November 2011 14:44 | Vis Insita |
I like this story.
I just read That Terrifying Momentum, and these first two parts of this story.
You are going to continue this story, right? I hope you do. I really enjoy reading it.
Scott's hysterical. You imagined a whole new way for these stories to unfold, while keeping the key parts. It's very entertaining.
I hope you're continuing this story! |
| Sunday 8th January 2012 05:38 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
| I did continue the story. I know the wait was overlong, but there's a chapter three now. |
Dad
Monday 10th October 2011 10:28 | Vis Insita |
| Is it acceptable to finish on a sentence like the last one? Keep it coming. |
| Sunday 23rd October 2011 21:49 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
| I can only assume it is acceptable, since I was allowed to post it. |
lizzypotter14
Sunday 9th October 2011 06:06 | Vis Insita |
| I had always tried to picture what was in Harry's mind between the time frame of the Dursley's departure and the arrival of the Order. You had gave me a new and interesting point. Good work. |
| Sunday 23rd October 2011 21:49 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
| I think Scott's presence probably changes whatever JKR had in mind by a great deal. His discussions with Harry add an interaction without any analogue in canon. |
TomRiddle
Sunday 9th October 2011 00:30 | Vis Insita |
Salutations once again Caleb S. Nova esq.
Marvelous work again as per usual.
I did however notice one small error. Scott originally says he only has WP6s but then states he has WP5s. Might be a mistake, might just be me pointing out stupid you don't care about.
Cheers
~Tom Riddle |
Aragorn
Saturday 8th October 2011 17:51 | Vis Insita |
Like the chess playing scene; presume it's foreshadowing some eventual story dynamic.
Thanks for the update. |
| Sunday 23rd October 2011 21:48 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
Stratego, not chess. Very different game. And it could be foreshadowing, but it could not be as well.
Thanks for the review. |
TomRiddle
Saturday 8th October 2011 14:05 | Vis Insita |
Salutations once again Caleb S. Nova esq.
Marvelous work again as per usual.
I did however notice one small error. Scott originally says he only has WP6s but then states he has WP5s. Might be a mistake, might just be me pointing out stupid you don't care about.
Cheers
~Tom Riddle |
| Sunday 23rd October 2011 21:47 | Vis Insita (Author Response) |
| It is a mistake on my part, but being in dialogue it can easily be a mistake on Scott's part as well. I didn't really want to send in another doc for Sherry to mess with just to fix that. |
