Harry Potter sat alone in his room at number four, Privet Drive, ignoring the disgusting grunts coming from Dudley's bedroom. He always grunted like that when he practised his boxing and it made Harry's stomach roll.
Then again, since he'd lost Sirius, it didn't take much to make his stomach roll. He sat back in his chair, staring blankly at the wall in front of his desk. Harry let the guilt and anger wash over him and, had he been able to feel anything--or had the energy to truly react to anything--he would have enjoyed the sensation.
His mind turned to his friends. He wondered detachedly how they were doing as he hadn't heard from either of them, which was unusual. Ron and Hermione had helped him survive through the last year, there was no doubt about it. Without them… Well, that was something Harry wasn't willing to contemplate.
He hoped, in a distant, grief-stricken way that they hadn't given up on him. After his behaviour towards them last year, he wouldn't have blamed them.
There was no bitterness now, no anger at the thought of his friends. The numbness was a relief in comparison to the first three weeks of Harry's summer. He had stewed, kick things, tried to ignore Remus' visits and lashed out at his so-called family, among other things.
He had thought constantly about the danger he had put Neville, Luna and Ginny in. It was different than when Hermione and Ron followed him into the fire, as that was something they had always done. Harry had considered writing to the three of them. Then he imagined what Ron's reaction might be if Harry wrote to Ginny and not to him, so he decided against it.
Now that he had calmed down, he had started to miss Ron and Hermione. As much as he'd been annoyed with them last year, they were his real family. In fact, he was sitting at his desk, trying to compose a letter to Ron, and for the first time in five years of friendship, Harry had no idea what to say the tall, red headed Weasley.
He jumped out of his chair at the sound of impatient tapping at the window.
"Hedwig!"
Harry rushed over to let his snowy owl in, realising then that it had actually been days since he had let her out to spread her wings. Chastising himself for his carelessness, he untied the letter on her leg. An icy feeling settled in his stomach as he recognised Hermione's handwriting.
He stared dumbly at the letter, until Hedwig hooted indignantly and flapped her wings, staring pointedly at the box of Owl Treats sitting on his desk.
"Sorry girl," Harry said with a sigh of resignation. He reached for the Treats, feeding Hedwig straight from his hand. He was going to have to read Hermione's letter, although he reckoned he could quote it already. She would be telling him not to let himself be pulled down in guilt, and to keep up his studies.
She had no idea about the Prophecy.
Once Hedwig was settled and sleeping in her cage, Harry moved to his bed.
Dear Harry,
I know you think that I'm going to lecture you about keeping up the DA or your normal studies as we start our NEWT classes this year, but I have a surprise for you. I'm not going to lecture you at all. In fact, I'm not even thinking about you right now unless it's in direct relation to me, because something so huge and terrible has happened that I literally wept with relief with when Hedwig showed up at my window.
Harry felt his heart grow cold as he read her opening paragraph. He knew that nothing had happened to her family, because Remus would have told him. Surely he would have mentioned it. Whatever it was though, was exactly as Hermione said--huge and terrible.
Hermione was not like the Parvati Patils and Lavender Browns of this world. She did not overreact.
My parents have insisted that I leave Hogwarts. Oh Harry, I'm sorry. I know you need me, even if you don't want to admit it and I hate that there's a possibility that I won't be there to help you through anything that happens this year. And you being you, I know without a doubt that something will happen to you this year.
Every cloud has a silver lining, however, and mine is Ron. Get that smirk off your face! I wrote to him a few days ago and he's promised to help me. Mrs. Weasley, wonderful as she is, has written to my parents and arranged to meet us all at the Burrow next week. They, of course, are staying at Headquarters and there's no way that my parents can go there.
Maybe you could come? I would love to see you… possibly for the last time before I'm ripped away from everything I know and love. Oh I know that sounds dramatic, but it's how I feel. I'll hope that you want to see me–see all of us–and that Dumbledore gives you permission.
Before you start to wonder, yes I am being removed because of what happened at the Ministry. Don't even start thinking it's your fault Harry Potter.
I love you like a brother and there was no way I was letting you go alone, so don't wallow.
Love from,
Hermione
Harry felt the numbness break away from his heart as he pondered Hogwarts without its cleverest witch. Or the trio of friends without their Hermione. It just couldn't happen. He allowed himself a smile as he read the part about Hermione turning to Ron and his heart warmed at her last line.
He re-read the letter again, going over all the facts. Harry had already lost three people that he loved to death. He'd be damned if he was going to sit by idly and watch as he lost Hermione when he could at least try to prevent it.
Surging to his feet with an almost foreign sense of determination, he stoically ignored Uncle Vernon's angered cries of "Boy!" as he stormed through the house on his way to Mrs. Figg's. He felt alive and useful for the first time in over a year.
*
A/N Sorry this took so long! For those of you who don't know, I was in Australia for four weeks to celebrate my mother's 50th birthday. Thanks as always to my dearest friend Sarah (EEEEEEEEEEEE) and my PS beta and dear friend Tari, just because!