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Author: Majick Story: I Can Read You Like A... Rating: Young Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 9 Words: 11,555
Well, of course it all started a few days after we got back to Hogwarts. Hermione was already nagging us to get on with our work. I mean, we hadn't even got properly settled in yet! I mean, it was a busy summer. We needed to get caught up with everyone. Then Miss Perfect Prefect Granger had the nerve to tell us that whatever we were discussing couldn't possibly be as important as our homework. Honestly! She can be so uppity sometimes. I know she's a genius, but it doesn't mean she knows everything. Well, probably. Possibly, anyway. Besides, what me and Harry were discussing was important. After all this time, Harry finally completed his collection of Chocolate Frog cards. Unbelievable! I've been collecting since I was eight years old, and Harry beat me! I still don't have Agrippa. Of course, Hermione didn't think much of that when we told her what we were talking about. "You're so immature" she said. "Anyway, I though you'd finished playing with those card things years ago." But then, that's just typical of Hermione. I started collecting the cards because they tell you all about famous wizards. Trading them with my friends was fun, but it wasn't why I collected them. Besides, I haven't really looked at them in ages. It's only when Harry mentioned that he'd got the last one that we started talking about them again. So, that's why I was down in the library rather than watching the Ravenclaw Quidditch practise. Hermione laughed, she actually laughed, when I said where I was going. But I was sure I remembered a book that mentioned the cards. Hermione probably shoved it at me so she didn't have to lower herself to reading about them. Actually, I'm being a bit hard on Hermione. She's great, but just a bit, well, mad when it comes to finding stuff out. If we were asked to do a paragraph on each of ten famous wizards, I'd dig out my cards, but she'd be down in the library, looking through all these useless old books. And we'd probably get the same marks. Like I said, mad. I found the book eventually, and it was all about the guy who founded the company, and how he chose the wizards to go on the cards and stuff. Funny thing is, it was right next to Hogwarts: A History. Guess that section must have been sorted alphabetically. It's called Howlers, Handbooks and How To Make Great Chocolate, and I noticed that Lavender Brown has had it out a few times. Can't imagine why. Anyway, I got the book out, and took it off to show Harry and Hermione. I figured Hermione would be especially interested because the guy who started the Chocolate Frog company, Ian 'Indulgence' Digance was a Muggle born, just like her. But she was having none of it. "No, Ron" she said. "I don't care about your stupid book. We've got real work to do, in case you hadn't noticed. Unless this Digance can tell us how to make a perfect truth potion, then I'm not interested. Besides, you're a Prefect, remember? You should be setting a good example to the younger students." Like I said, Hermione can get a bit mad at times. Anyway, I put the book away for a few days until the four of us were having tea in the Great Hall on the Friday. We'd been so busy that we'd barely seen Ginny that week, and it was, well, nice to see her. But you can't tell her I said that! The four of us were chatting away when Harry mentioned the chocolate book, which got Ginny's attention straight away. Honestly, I'm surprised she's not listed as one of the people who's had the book out. Show Ginny a Chocolate Frog and she'll show you an empty wrapper. So, I dug the book out, and was going through it. Even Hermione looked a bit interested when I was going through the instructions for creating the frogs. Then, when I turned the page, I saw that there was a spell written down separately from everything else. I grinned at Hermione, who looked a bit put out that I'd found a new spell before she had. The spell seemed to be about how to make the bit on the back of the cards, the bit that tells all about the witch or wizard. I could see that Hermione was looking a bit uppity again. "Oh, come on, Hermione," I said. "Aren't you just a little bit curious about what'll happen if we do the spell? I'd love to see if we could make a card for each of us. I wonder what mine would say?" I should have known not to come out with a leading line like that. You'd think I'd have learned, growing up with Fred and George around, wouldn't you? "Ron Weasley is a Quidditch-mad student at Hogwarts School," Ginny began. "Ron has red hair, is scarily tall and dislikes Potions and Divination," Harry chipped in. "He enjoys Defence Against the Dark Arts and playing chess, and would like to be a chess grandmaster, an Auror, or somehow involved in professional Quidditch when he leaves school," Hermione offered. "He supports the Chudley Cannons," Harry continued. "Despite Puddlemere United having much the better team," Ginny concluded. Her and Harry dissolved into peals of laughter. It's not that I mind Harry finally settling on a Quidditch team to support, but having him choose the same team as Ginny means they gang up on me all the time now. I knew how to get my revenge, though. "Fine, laugh all you want," I said. "But when we get back to the common room, I'm putting this spell on all three of you, and then we'll see what comes up on your cards." I grinned. Harry was already looking a little bit worried. That'll teach him to make fun of the Cannons. * I forgot, of course, that Harry already has his own card. He tried to use it as an excuse to not go through with the spell. I reckon it's the first time he's ever used his fame to try and get out of doing something, and I nearly let him off, but I decided that if we were all going to go though with it, so was he. "Sorry, Harry," I said. "Besides, that card's complete rubbish. The hero who conquered the Dark Lord and all that garbage." Seamus and Dean, on their way in from Potions detention, treated us to a rousing rendition of Harry's famous singing Valentine, and Harry and Ginny both went bright red. I guess it is pretty cruel to keep bringing it up, but it's worth it just to see their faces. It's a good thing that Ginny finally got over Harry. It was just weird having my sister fancy my best friend. Not that having her dating other blokes is much fun, mind you. That Corner bloke was a git, for one. Still, seeing Ginny all quiet and stuff whenever Harry was around, well, it didn't seem right, not right at all. Not from my chatterbox of a sister. Mum always used to say that Ginny was 'vivacious', which I used to think meant pretty, which I suppose was about right for Ginny, but then Hermione explained that it meant full of life, and that was definitely right. Bloody annoying when she used to come in at five in the morning to try to get me to go play with her, but definitely right. Anyway, I'm getting off the point here, aren't I? Back to the story, then. Of course, Ginny still turned around and insisted that if we were going to try out the spell, it would have to be somewhere a bit more private, in case it backfired. We all looked at Hermione. Us being Prefects and all, we can get away with wandering around the school pretty much whenever we want. "Not such a bad thing, being a Prefect, is it Ron?" she said. I don't know why I put up with her sometimes. We're always arguing about something or other. Of course, it's always her fault. Mostly. Well, sometimes, anyway. To cut a long story short, we ended up in the Charms classroom, one of Hermione's favourite places in the school. Well, it is somewhere she gets to learn new stuff, after all. I decided she should be the first to take the spell. It was only fair, after all. "Veritas Ranae Picturaeque Atque Maxime Cioccolato" I said, with Digance's instructions in front of me. A neat little flick of the wrist, and a bubbling brown stream shot from my wand, curling around Hermione from head to toe. It solidified around her, and for a second I almost panicked, but then it crystallised and fractured, and Hermione was back, holding what was, unmistakably, a Chocolate Frog card. "It worked," she said, as though she couldn't quite believe it. "Well of course," I said with a grin. "Did you really think it wouldn't?" She didn't say anything, but the look on her face, well, I can read her like I can read a chessboard. "Fine", I said. "Just read the card, and then you can tell me how you've changed your mind." Hermione grimaced, and looked at the card. I felt guilty about having a go at her. Merlin knows I'm not as good at magic as she is. But she just seems to get right up my nose sometimes. It's like... I don't know, like she knows how to hit my buttons... Anyway, Harry took the card from her and started reading from it. "Hermione Granger is the most talented pupil to attend Hogwarts School of Withcraft and Wizardry in the last twenty years." Hermione's cheeks were going pink, which looked really weird on her. She doesn't normally get embarrassed, but I suppose that the card was being pretty full on. "She is particularly adept at Potions, Charms and Transfiguration, and is a loyal and brave friend. Miss Granger has been rumoured to have been dating both Harry Potter" --Harry paused, and grinned at her-- "and star Quidditch player Viktor Krum, but-" "Accio card!" Hermione yelled, looking really, really pink as the card jumped from Harry to her. She shoved it into her robe pocket, and scowled. "But..?" I asked, grinning at her. I knew that Hermione wasn't interested in anyone, and it was always fun to tease her about her supposed romances with Harry and Krum. She really gets worked up about it, especially when I do it. Still, I'd have killed to see what was on that card. "But nothing," she snapped. "I knew this was a stupid spell." "Maybe," I said, all calm and stuff. She really looked furious this time. "Who's next?' Good old Harry raised his hand. I tell you, there's no-one I'd want by my side more than him, 'cos he's always ready to put himself in harms way for his friends. This time he looked really nervous as I prepared to cast the spell, as though he was dreading what the card was going to say. I suppose, what with it being Harry, that's not surprising. The spell hit, and Harry was encased in the chocolate shell. Once more it froze, crystallised and shattered, and Ginny leapt forward to snatch the card from his hand. "Harry Potter is probably most famous for his repeated encounters with the Dark Lord Voldemort," she read with a shudder. Then she grinned and carried on. "He is an excellent Quidditch player and excels in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Harry is destined to be one of the wizarding world's most eligible bachelors once he finishes his schooling at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Apart from defeating the Dark Lord, he also won the Triwizard Tournament in his fourth year. Harry is an orphan who currently lives with his Muggle aunt and uncle. "Well, no great surprises there," Ginny said, looking a bit put out. I suppose she was hoping there'd be something about Harry's friends on the card. Hermione said something about how even the spell couldn't do proper research, of course. Harry just huffed out a great sigh of relief, like he was afraid something terrible would be on there. Like I said, given all the stuff we've done, there could have been. I mean, helping Buckbeak to escape, helping Sirius, making the Polyjuice potion... Yeah, I could just see Malfoy using this spell to make trouble. Anyway, it was my turn next, and it felt really, really weird to be wrapped up in all that chocolate stuff. I had a quick lick when it got up to my mouth, and it was quite tasty, a bit nutty but with some caramel as well I think. Anyway, it feels a lot longer being inside that shell thing when it's you in there, I can tell you. When the stuff finally cracked and broke up, I had the card in my hand. I didn't get a chance to look at it, though. Instead, Hermione snatched it and looked at me with that great big grin she uses when that Professor Vector doesn't give out any homework. Just by the way, I think that Arithmancy students should be given homework everyday. That'd shut Hermione up. Anyway, Miss Perfect Prefect Granger started reading my card out. "Ronald Weasley is probably best known as the best friend of Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived. In his own right, Ronald is an excellent chess player who also specialises in Quidditch trivia. A competent student at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, he is as yet unsure of his future occupation. He is stubborn to a fault, but also brave, daring and loyal. In many respects, he is the model Gryffindor. Although single, he is often seen in the company of his friend Hermione Granger." I swear, it's all true. Even that bit about being stubborn, I suppose. Me, stubborn? Ha! I could have sworn Hermione was making that up, just because I know she'd hate to say all good stuff about me. But it was there. Still, the rest was alright. It's a bit weird how Hermione got on my card. I was going to accuse her of messing with the spell, I knew she hadn't. And the card was right, we do spend a lot of time together. Still single? Well, yeah. I don't really want to do all that stupid emotional stuff. Besides, Hermione's great. She's like having a girlfriend without having to go through all the dumb things that Seamus has to do for Lavender. No, Hermione's all the girl I want in my life. Err... Just don't let her hear me say that or she'll never shut up. Anyway, I just knew that this card thing was a good idea. Hermione actually stumbled over the bit about me being a model Gryffindor, which was really hilarious. I've always been telling her to lighten up a bit, and I know that when it comes down to it Hermione will always do the right thing, but she didn't get 'model Gryffindor' did she? I was grinning hugely, so, of course, she had to say something. "Yes, well, I did say that these things weren't very accurate," was the best she could come up with. "So you're not the most talented pupil to come here for twenty years?" I asked. Classic! She was torn, absolutely torn. And then Harry stepped in. He really must get sick of me and Hermione arguing all the time. We should probably lay off it a bit, but it's so much fun to tease her and it's not like she doesn't always give as good as she gets. Harry's getting better at knowing when things are about to get serious too. He must be growing up. "Just one of us left," he said, smiling at Ginny. She looked really weird, like she was going to puke or something. I don't think she's claustrophobic, so it probably wasn't the idea of being frozen in chocolate. I mean, she's a girl, right? She should love it. Then it hit me. I can be such an idiot sometimes. It was the whole Tom Riddle thing. She must have been worrying it'd be mentioned on the card. Honestly, I know everyone wants You-Know-Who dead, but with us it's personal. Ginny's always been so full of life, but after her first year there were times when she'd go so quiet. It's got quite a lot better, but still, sometimes... I was just glad I didn't say anything and make it worse. Maybe I'm growing up too? Scary stuff. Have to keep an eye on it. Anyway, Hermione cast the spell and, well, all hell broke loose. Ten very confusing minutes later, I was back in the dormitory, getting ready for bed. First Harry came in, then Ginny, and I got kicked out of my own bedroom. I wouldn't have minded so much, but I was only in those horrible maroon pyjamas Mum got me last summer. Hermione made some remark that set everyone off, and after about five minutes, I'd had enough. We started in on each other, again, and... Well, no use going on about it. It's really not connected to this story at all. To be continued... (Author's Note: Because someone is bound to ask, the spell says 'Truth, frogs, beauty but above all chocolate', or at least it does according to a Latin teacher I know.)
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