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Author: Wings Story: Heart of Gold Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-DH Status: WIP Reviews: 6 Words: 121,987
~~~~~~ "All right, there, Regulus?" Jacks' cheery voice startled Regulus from his work. He had been concentrating very hard on a particular spell he discovered in the spell catalogue while trying to complete the task of identifying lesser known defensive spells to give to the department for use in their massive defensive project. Regulus had been able to glean very little information about the project thus far from his immediate superior, a sharp-tongued, middle-aged Scottish witch who seemed to dislike him from the start. He could not figure out if she just did not like new, younger employees to the department or if he had somehow managed to fall from her graces upon her first sighting of him, but he had decided that he did not care much. She was not the one that the Dark Lord was interested in; Jacks was. He looked up and saw Jacks leaning casually against the wall opposite his desk. Regulus had not been completely honest with Severus when he was summoned to the Knockturn Alley meeting a fortnight ago. He had not had much opportunity to deal with Jacks personally at all. Most of what he knew about the workings of the department he had learned from short conversations with his co-workers, none of whom seemed especially keen on befriending the new wizard in their midst. This was fine with Regulus, as he preferred to have his quiet anyway and he did not enjoy small talk. But Jacks was a different case altogether, seeing as the Dark Lord wanted as much information about him as possible. "Yes, sir. I am just examining the defensive spells in the catalogue to look for lesser known ones. Can I assist you in any way?" he inquired in the most polite voice he could manage. Jacks shook his head, "No, I'm fine. I just wanted to see how you were getting along, that's all. Melinda mentioned that you're very quiet." "Well, I try not to get in her way," Regulus replied lamely. "She seems not to fancy mischief much." "She's a middle-aged witch with three young boys at home. Mischief is not in her vocabulary, or in the very least, will not be tolerated in her presence," Jacks said with a teasing edge. "But not to worry, I don't think that she thinks you will cause mischief. I think she is merely trying to evaluate your skills. Such an endeavour can take time, and it is generally best for all parties to learn to communicate with one another as soon as possible." Regulus shifted in his chair nervously, "If you'd like me to talk more to the other witches and wizards you can just tell me." Jacks sighed, “You have to learn that I’m here to help you. My goal is to help you integrate yourself into this department and contribute to it, not to catch you in your mistakes. It would probably be a good idea for you to start interacting with your co-workers more, but that is not today’s argument. Are you happy here?” “I’m sorry?” “I know you want this job, and I know that you want to do well at it, but are you happy doing it?” Why does he keep pressing this point? This was not the first time Jacks had questioned Regulus since his initial interview for his position. He had a tendency to show up whenever Regulus was intensely involved in a task or else at a moment when he was unsure of what he was supposed to be doing next. Jacks’ solutions often involved interacting with other members of the department who had at some point acquired the skills Regulus needed to complete his tasks, but how he expected Regulus to know which people to ask for help, Regulus had no idea. Was he supposed to just ask everyone until he found someone who knew what to do? Regulus usually had a hard time accepting help anyway, so the thought of having to walk from person to person asking the same exact question was daunting. He decided that the best thing to do was to shrug and try to put him off of the question. “I’m not used to having to ask for help, is all,” replied Regulus, quite truthfully. “I’ve never had a hard time figuring things out on my own. Most of the time I tend to puzzle it out and trudge on until I finish.” Jacks nodded, “Yes, I’ve noticed that. Listen, my job as the supervisor of this department is to make sure that everything runs smoothly. I can tell that you have extraordinary skills even if I haven’t fully had the chance to observe them yet. I trust that that will come in time, but for now I need to know that you have the ability to work with your peers, even if they are dozens of years older than you are.” “Some of them are,” Regulus said with a laugh. “Yes, some of them are,” agreed Jacks. “But you’re not a student anymore. You’re an adult wizard, and you need to prove that to them. You won’t be able to do that unless you apply yourself and try to fit into their world. “I suppose it’s like when a Muggleborn child enters Hogwarts – they have no idea what our world is like, but they have to fit into it regardless because they choose to be there, and their abilities show that they should be there. You have the skills to succeed as an adult wizard and you chose to use them in this department. You need to apply what you have, and you can begin to do that by getting to know the people around you.” Regulus pondered this point for a moment, and then saw an opportunity. “How did you do that, sir, after you left Hogwarts?” Jacks shifted his weight and looked down at the floor, “Well, I was in the Orion Force. It’s not exactly a conventional job. I was part of a team, and I had to respect and work closely with everyone.” "But you still had to get to know the other people in your regiment, right?" Jacks nodded, "Well, yes, I did, but they were all the same age as I was. It was a much different situation than your own." Regulus cocked an eyebrow, "There isn't anything you learned that could possibly apply to my situation?" "Well, no," admitted Jacks. "I suppose you could think of the department as its own regiment. Everyone does need to work together to make it run smoothly, though there is no comparable power structure. Melinda does not quite qualify as a drill master, I believe." Regulus laughed, "No, not quite. I see how you could compare the department to a regiment, though people seem to work together a lot less than I would think members of the Orion Force do." Jacks agreed, "It's true, and that is why the analogy is a stretch. But think about this - the good thing about a job in this type of environment is that you have an opportunity to meet witches and wizards older than yourself. You can get advice from anyone here, if you'll just take the chance to pursue it. Really, who is going to turn you down if you're asking for help?" I can think of a few people, Regulus thought, but did not voice his convictions. "I suppose, we're not quite in serious competition here," he said aloud. "No, you're not. It's not like at school," Jacks emphasized. "Everyone needs to work together in order to get the job done. If you're keeping to yourself, you are hurting every person here who could benefit from your knowledge, and you are depriving yourself of the knowledge that they can give you." Regulus considered this and replied, "Yes, I understand. I will do my best to further integrate myself into the department. When did you start working here?" "About twenty-five years ago, after my term of service ended." Regulus did the mental math in his head, "So around 1954?" Jacks nodded, "I think it was 1953, but close enough. I had contracted for ten years of service during the war against Grindelwald." "Ten years? Wasn't he defeated in 1945?" "Yes, but no one expected him to be," Jacks explained. "He was powerful, they were very dark times. People were afraid for their lives and scared for their children. Schools and shops closed. I can see society becoming like that again if You-Know-Who continues to gain more followers." Regulus shifted uncomfortably, "He is certainly powerful, and persuasive." "I joined up to keep my family safe mostly," added Jacks. "I had the qualifications and I was young, just out of school. It seemed like the golden opportunity to serve wizarding society and do some good. Anyway, you don't want to hear about my experiences. You just want me to leave so you can keep working, eh?" Regulus shook his head, "Oh, no sir, I don't mind listening. Though, I do have work to do." "I'll leave you to it then. Have a good day, and keep in mind what I suggested," Jacks said. ~~~~~~ As the week went on, Regulus tried to follow Jacks' advice and get to know the other wizards in the department. Melinda Camden, his Scottish supervisor, had not willingly engaged in any sort of extended conversation with him by the end of the week, but she did tell him that she was pleased with his work when he left the office Friday afternoon. He had much more luck talking to the wizard who sat next to him who looked to be in his mid-thirties, Alec Kingston. Alec had been a Hufflepuff at Hogwarts, and he warmed up to friendship with Regulus as soon as Regulus made an effort in return. He said that initially he had been unsure of what Regulus thought of him, and because he was so quiet, Regulus was easy to ignore. Alec offered to help him with any assignment that Jacks might give him, and Regulus was gracious for the support, though Alec had brushed off a question regarding his work within the department. Regulus decided that once those around him learned what he was capable of doing, they would embrace his talents and accept him into their inner circle. Befriending Alec was a small accomplishment, however, and Regulus was happy with it for the week. He nodded to the pretty green-eyed woman who sat at the desk near the front door of the Department of Spells and Charms on his way out, and ascended the lift to the heat of the late-July London summer. He thought he knew the woman from somewhere, but he was still unable to place her in his mind. It did not much matter to him, though, because he was on his way to meet Aislinn by the entrance to the Leaky Cauldron so that they could visit Liam at work. He had been working there for two weeks and Aislinn was anxious to see how he was getting along. She was uneasy about walking in Diagon Alley by herself because of the perceived dangers of the wizarding world, so she had had to wait for a day when Regulus was available to walk with her. She was planning to return to Ireland at the end of the following week, the first week of August, in order to rearrange her classroom and prepare for her next class of young students. Aislinn taught grammar school, a job which Regulus felt suited her quite well. Classes were due to start the first week of September, just as at Hogwarts, and she had to return home to attend meetings with her fellow teachers and the parents of her new students. He saw her looking in the window of a nearby stationery shop as he walked down the Muggle street on which the Leaky Cauldron was located. She was holding a couple small purchases, as well as a loaf of bread that he expected was probably on their dinner menu for the night. Aislinn had been teaching Liam and Regulus how to cook so that they would not starve to death in her absence, according to her. Liam joked that maybe she should quit the grammar school and become a full-time chef for helpless young men trying to learn the ways of the world. She hadn't thought it was very funny. "Oy! Aislinn! Over here!" called Regulus as he approached her on the street. She turned around quickly. "Good afternoon, Regulus. How was your day? Have you gotten to know that Alec chap any better?" she asked brightly. He shrugged his shoulders, "A bit I suppose. We mostly talk about work, nothing really heavy. He's a decent fellow." "Well, at least you're trying," she replied. "It's better than sitting silently all day." He nodded an agreement and gestured toward the pub, "Shall we? Liam is probably getting restless." Aislinn laughed and turned to cross the street toward where she knew the Leaky Cauldron was, even if she couldn't see it. He smiled at her exuberance and followed closely behind her. The pub became visible as they grew closer to it and he reached out to hold open the door for her. She muttered a quiet thank you and walked inside, stopping a few feet past the doorway to wait for him. The bartender gave them a slight nod and then turned back to the glasses he was washing at the sink. Regulus waited for his eyes to adjust to the low light and then placed a hand lightly on Aislinn's back to steer her toward the back of the pub. "This way, remember?" She nodded and followed him, ignoring the stares of a few witches whispering at a nearby table. The problem with being the heir of the Black family fortune was that it made Regulus well-known in the wizarding community, especially after Sirius' disownment. Most wizards could recognize him even if they could not place his name because of his resemblance to his father, and his trademark dark hair. Seeing him walking around Diagon Alley with a young, pretty woman in proper Muggle clothing was sure to cause some people to gossip about him, even if their words had no grounds. Still, he hoped that his mother did not get wind of what he imagined people might be saying. It was unlikely that she would hear about it, but there was always the possibility. They walked through the entrance to Diagon Alley without any trouble and walked silently together past the colourful shops and bustling crowds toward Flourish and Blotts. A bell on the door chimed brightly as they walked inside and Regulus scanned the room casually looking for Liam. Aislinn saw him first, though, and muttered softly to Regulus as she began to walk in his direction. "He's back there, behind that shelf. Come on." He followed her past the advertisements for new spell books and the latest edition of the Daily Prophet, past stacks of parchment with lists of suggested school supplies and book lists for Hogwarts students, even though he knew that the official lists had not yet been released, and past a large pile of paperback fiction about the adventures of a warlock in the twelfth century, battling the Medieval powers to save the entire wizarding community from exile and torture. They found Liam in the next aisle of books alphabetizing a particular line of novels for witches. Aislinn giggled, "So this is what they have you doing all day? Organizing the romance novels?" Liam jumped and whipped around, "Oh, hello, sis. Well, not all day. Sometimes I even get to read them." Aislinn rolled her eyes, "Oh, just wait until I tell Mother that her baby boy is reading smut." She gave Liam a pointed look, and he laughed. "Well, all right, this isn't exactly what I do all the time, it just happens to be my assignment for today. Really brilliant place for political networking, eh? Novels for witches. "I suppose if you're looking to find a candidate who is interested in romance, it could just be your ticket into his good graces," Liam noted. "Or maybe I'm just doing what my supervisor told me to do and I really would rather be working in another part of the store altogether." Aislinn grinned, "That could be it, too. What do you think, Regulus?" Regulus folded his arms, "I think Liam is becoming too familiar with this section of the book store. He needs to spend some time over in the sport section." Liam waved a book in front of his face, "Just remember, the next time I'm out with a nice girl, I'll have something to talk about with her that she might find interesting." "Ouch!" Regulus said with a laugh. "That one cut me deeply, mate." Liam changed the subject, "So what do you lot want to see in here?" Aislinn looked about herself, "Nothing in particular, I just wanted to see where you worked. Do you mind if I take a look around?" "Not at all. Just remember the currency differences if you want to buy anything. I can give you some of our money if you've already spent what I gave you," Liam reminded her. "No problem, I still have some, "Aislinn assured him. "I'll find you when I'm ready to leave." She set off toward a wall that advertised magical cookbooks. "How was your day, mate?" Liam asked. Regulus shrugged, "Not particularly exciting. I talked with Alec a bit more. He's a decent chap, though it is hard to relate to someone who is fifteen years older than you are." "Yeah, I sympathize," Liam said. "My manager is probably seventy years old, but he's still going strong." Regulus smiled, "Well, witches and wizards do tend to live longer." Liam nodded, "Yeah, I know. Are you just going to wait here for Aislinn to be done, or do you have errands that you need to run?" Regulus looked at his feet briefly, then back up at Liam's eyes, "I do have someone that I'm supposed to meet. I have to give them some things that I made - it's for work, you see." Liam did not answer right away, but then he said, "I see. I can keep an eye on Aislinn while you do that, just to make sure she doesn't get herself into any trouble. When are you supposed to meet this co-worker?" Regulus checked his pocket watch, "Ten minutes or so. It is a bit of a walk." "Go on, then," Liam said. "We'll be fine here." Regulus said his thanks and then went to tell Aislinn that he was meeting a co-worker and would be back soon. He exited the shop and started to walk down the street toward Knockturn Alley as casually as he could. He did not want it to appear like he was rushing to get somewhere. The sketches that Severus had asked him to make for the Dark Lord were tucked safely into his pocket, minimized in size so that he could carry them more easily and without suspicion. He had no idea what the Dark Lord wanted sketches of Diagon Alley for, but he kept reminding himself that it did not matter. He was serving, not leading. Perhaps the Dark Lord only wanted them to see how things were situated and to compare them to his own memories. He had to stay in hiding most of the time, so maybe he just wanted to know what shops were still there and if there were any new ones. However, when Regulus thought about it realistically, he knew that that probably was not the case. But he did not want to think about any other possibilities. Severus was waiting outside the pub in a dark corner. Regulus saw the sallow skin contrasted with the shadows before he realized that the man in the corner was his mate from school. "The black robes don't do anything for you," he noted as he approached. Severus just looked at him, "Does it look like that matters to me?" Regulus shook his head, "No, but I thought you might like to know, mate-to-mate. You might be more popular with the girls if you added some colour to your wardrobe." "Do you have the sketches?" Severus asked in a bored tone of voice. "Uh, yeah," Regulus said as he pulled them out of his pocket. "Engorgio," he muttered, and the rolled parchment was restored to its original dimensions. He handed them to Severus, who unrolled them and examined each one closely. Regulus shifted his weight and stifled a yawn while he waited. Finally, Severus looked up, seemingly satisfied. "Good work, Regulus. The Dark Lord will be pleased," Severus said. "Glad to hear it," Regulus replied. "I have a question for you." "Yes?" "Did you mention our conversation to the Dark Lord?" Severus grunted and folded his arms, "We shouldn't be talking about this out here." "Please, just tell me." He looked very nervous, "You don't understand. He could have people watching us." "Why would he do that?" Regulus felt his stomach start turning. Severus looked annoyed, "Because he doesn't want us to rely on one another or trust one another. Don't you see? That's why we aren't told who the others are. He doesn't want us to know. He wants us to devote ourselves to him and trust that he is working for our common good. I wasn't even there the night that you pledged your loyalty." "You weren't?" He shook his head, "No, I wasn't. I did not know that you were one of us until the Dark Lord asked me to forward information to you. That's why we have to be careful. We have no idea who else on the street may be one of us, or may be in opposition to us." Regulus felt beads of sweat forming on his palms, "What do you mean?" "A group has been formed whose mission is to oppose the Dark Lord. We don't know yet what they are calling themselves, but there are rumours that certain significant people have joined it, including your brother." "Former brother." Severus rolled his eyes, "Either way. Sirius is supposedly a member, as are the Longbottoms, Dumbledore, and James and Lily Potter." "They got married?" "Yes, a little over a year ago. I'm surprised that you did not know that," Severus said. "Honestly, I have heard nothing of Sirius and his friends, except for Pettigrew, since he left. It is never discussed in our house." "Yes, I suppose it wouldn't be," conceded Severus. "The fact of the matter is that we have reason to believe that they have joined together in league against the Dark Lord." "What is this group called?" asked Regulus. Severus shook his head, "We have not been able to discover its name or even who leads it, though we can closely guess at that point." Regulus nodded, "Yes, I'm sure dear old Albus has a hand to play." "I would be surprised if he didn't," said Severus with a hiss. "But we need to think of a way to infiltrate their ranks." "What about Pettigrew?" "No, he's too obvious. The Dark Lord would rather that we found another way." Regulus felt his heart pounding, "You can't mean me. Sirius hates me. There is no way they would believe..." "Your best mate is Liam Merric, is he not?" Severus broke in. "Wha-, well, yes, but no! I am not going to spy on my best mate! You told me that you wouldn't say anything!" Regulus felt his cheeks grow hot and his pulse begin to race. Severus folded his arms and looked at him crossly, "I didn't say anything. I keep my word, and you should learn to think better about what you promise to do before you promise to do it. You have pledged your loyalty, and you can't back out now. The Dark Lord is fighting for a good cause, to fix the flawed thinking of the wizarding community. You don't want the Ministry to keep ruling with its inconsistent bureaucracy, do you? Things are wrong here, and they must be made right. Don't you understand? He is trying to fix things to the way they are supposed to be, to make things better for all of us." Regulus felt guilty, "I know. I just don't want Liam to get hurt, that's all." "Fighting for a cause requires the sacrifice of your time and energy, and more. Are you fully committed to this cause?" "Yes, I think. I don't know." He stared at the ground. "I didn't join this to kill people. I joined up because I thought I would be able to become better at magic, to rise to the top and create something, to be of worth." "You are of worth," Severus said. "Because the Dark Lord says you are of worth. Do you understand this? You must do what he asks you to do. As of now, he is not asking you to hurt Liam or anyone else. All he asks is that you follow him and trust that he knows best. He wants us all to be in secret, even to one another, and he especially does not want the Ministry knowing who we are." Regulus studied Severus carefully, "You seem to know a lot about how the Dark Lord works for only having served him for a year." Severus stood up a little straighter, "He needs me. He tells me things. He would tell you things, too, Regulus, if you would only yield yourself to him. He can teach you how to manipulate magic like you have never known before." Regulus felt a shudder pass through his body, "I believe that, I do. I am trying my best, really, I am." "I know, and so does the Dark Lord," Severus said quietly. "He will be pleased with these sketches, as I said before. I must go now to deliver them. If I were you, I would not mention this to anyone." Regulus nodded, "Of course. Good day, Severus." "Good day." Severus Disapparated. Regulus wiped beads of sweat from his brow as he checked his pocket watch, hands shaking. Slow down, relax, you're fine. Six o'clock. Aislinn would surely be done in Flourish and Blotts by now and ready to head home. He started walking back toward the bookstore, taking long strides and passing nimbly through the crowds of people, taking care not to bump into anyone and trying not to upset their purchases. He found Liam and Aislinn talking in front of the store and waved a hello as he walked up to them. "Regulus, perfect timing," Liam said as he clapped him on the shoulder. "We were just getting ready to walk out and back to the flat. How did the meeting go? You look a little pale." Regulus forced himself to smile, "Oh, it was fine. I think the heat is just getting to me a bit. Shall we?" Liam did not look quite convinced, but nodded and the three of them set off toward the Leaky Cauldron barrier. The next few days passed quickly and Regulus almost forgot about the sketches he had given to Severus. Things at work were going well, and he was doing his best to get to know others in the department and to keep himself in Jacks' good graces. It was toward the end of the day on Wednesday that he received the news. "Regulus! You'll never believe what just happened!" Alec said breathlessly. Regulus whipped around, "What's going on?" "An attack. On Diagon Alley." He felt his heart start pounding harder and his throat go dry, "D-Diagon Alley? Are you sure?" Alec gave him a look of annoyance, "Of course I'm sure. How would I botch that up?" "Where?" "Down by the entrance to Knockturn Alley. They aren't saying who did it, but I think it's quite obvious. You-Know-Who and his followers," Alec's eyes narrowed. "The Death Eaters." Regulus gulped, "You're sure?" "They've already dispatched Aurors to the scene of the crime, but they're long gone by now. They blew up a shop and killed a few shoppers, injured quite a lot more than that, and a couple Muggles as well," Alec explained. "You know, family of witches and wizards. Obviously they would not have been able to get in any other way." "Obviously," Regulus agreed. "Have any names been released? My best mate works in Diagon Alley, you see, Liam. Liam Merric." Alec thought for a moment, "I didn't see a Liam Merric on the list, but I think I remember seeing the name Merric. Maybe, Ashley? Anna?" "Aislinn?" Regulus' voice cracked. Alec nodded and snapped his fingers, "Yeah! That's right. I thought the name was a bit odd. You all right, there, mate?" Regulus' hands were shaking and he struggled to get out the words, "She isn't, I mean, she's not dead, is she?" The older man shook his head, "No, not dead. I'm pretty sure she was on the list of people taken to St. Mungo's. Is she your mate's sister?" Regulus nodded, unable to respond verbally. Alec patted his shoulder. "Don't worry, mate. I'm sure she's fine. Here, why don't you send an owl to Liam and we'll get it all sorted out." There's no way I can get this all sorted out, he thought. Not now, not anymore. His owl returned fifteen minutes later with a busily scrawled note from Liam. Regulus, Aislinn is alive, but it's not good. She was near the building that they blew up. Some of the shrapnel and glass became embedded in her skin and she has minor cuts and bruises. A beam from one of the shops crushed one of her legs, and they were able to heal her quite well, but not well enough. She'll limp for the rest of her life. Come as quickly as you can. She's in room 453 and I'll be there with her. Liam Regulus looked at Alec, "She's all right, mostly. She was hurt pretty badly, though. She'll likely limp for the rest of her life." "Sorry, mate," Alec said. "Do you need some company?" Regulus shook his head, "No, I'm going to go down to St. Mungo's and sit with Liam. I'll see you later this week, hopefully." Room 453 took more time to find than Regulus had anticipated. The front lobby of the hospital was so crowded with people trying to find out if their friend or family member was dead or alive that he easily slipped into a side stairwell and made his way up to the fourth floor without much interruption, though it would have been much faster to take a lift. He approached the door and halted abruptly to catch his breath and compose himself before opening the door to – what?
What would she look like? Would she be asleep or awake? Would there be visible signs of her pain? How extensive were her injuries? Liam’s note had been so hastily written and so he hadn’t included the gritty details. What if she was so disfigured that she was unrecognizable? What if –
“Do you need any assistance, dear?” inquired a portly witch pushing a medicine trolley through the hallway. Her heavily made-up eyes looked at Regulus over the tops of her half-rimmed glasses and seemed to scan his thin presence with great interest.
“Uh, no, ma’am,” he replied quickly. “No, I’ve found the room I was looking for. Thanks for asking.”
“No trouble at all, dear, no trouble at all,” she muttered as she continued down the hallway. He sighed and eyed the door again. There was no excuse; he would have to go in. He tapped once, then again, and when there was no response, he tried a third time. Finally, he rapped on the door with a little more force and he heard bustling movement behind the wooden door, and then a lock clicking out of place. The door opened to reveal a dishevelled Liam – hair mussed, clothes wrinkled, with dark circles under his eyes and a paler complexion than usual. “Sorry, mate,” he said with a yawn. “I was taking a bit of a rest. I didn’t get much sleep last night anyway so I was planning on going home this afternoon for a bit before going to work with the Blood Equality Society tonight. Well, that likely will not be happening.” He held the door open to reveal a small, dimly lit and sparsely furnished room. Aislinn lay sleeping in a bed at the far end of the room, about ten feet away from the door. Liam appeared to have been sleeping in a fluffy chair propped up against a table along the centre wall, as the chair seemed to have been upset by his sudden awakening. One midnight blue cushion lay on the floor, while the other sat at an odd diagonal to the seat of the chair. “Sorry to have woken you,” Regulus said quietly as Liam shut the door gently behind him. Liam shook his head, “It’s no problem. I was using that pillow for a headrest against the wall. I wasn’t planning on taking a long nap anyway, just in case Aislinn woke up.” “How is she?” Regulus asked hesitantly, eying the sleeping figure. “Better than expected, actually,” Liam replied. “And she looks even better than she actually is. Most of her injuries were either internal or sustained in parts of her body that are normally covered up. For example, she has a couple scrapes on her face, but those were healed without any difficulty whatsoever. The hard part for the Healers was her legs.” “But shouldn’t they just be able to repair muscle and bone damage?” Regulus asked. Liam nodded, “Yeah, they should be. But apparently they can’t. It has something to do with the spell the Death Eaters used to blow up the building. It isn’t a spell that they are used to working with, or at least working with the effects of. It’s an unknown spell that none of them can figure out, meaning, it’s a spell that they must have made up themselves.” Regulus felt his palms go sweaty, “You mean, you think that they have spell creators operating on the inside?” “That’s what the Healers were whispering about, not me,” Liam cautioned. “But I can’t see a reason why there wouldn’t be. I mean, look what he’s done! He’s done things on a small scale before, but never anything like this. An attack on Diagon Alley? It’s lunacy. He could have risked the entire Muggle world finding out about us.” Regulus nodded, “I know, it must have been a huge operation. But how do we know it was him? I mean, couldn’t it be someone trying to masquerade as him?” Liam raised an eyebrow, “And why would someone do that?” “I don’t know,” Regulus replied. “Maybe because they don’t like what he has to say so they’re trying to frame him.” “You don’t need to frame You-Know-Who in order to get people to fear him,” retorted Liam. “People have been afraid of him for a while now. They’re afraid to go out at night because people have been disappearing, and they’re refreshing their knowledge of defensive spells as well. No, he planned this. I’m sure of it.” “Do you, do you think that the Ministry will strike back?” “I sure hope so. But even if they don’t do anything, I will.” Seeing the fire in Liam’s eyes made Regulus’ heart pound, “Liam, you can’t take him on alone, and the Blood Equality Society isn’t interested in fighting back.” “Not yet,” he agreed. “But I’ve been rehearsing a speech in my head. They’ll see my point of view, one way or another. I’m going to pitch the idea at the meeting tonight.” Aislinn stirred and mumbled in her sleep. Liam turned and looked at her briefly, then turned back to Regulus. “I hope she wakes up soon.” Regulus gave him a sympathetic smile, “Me too, mate. I’m sure she will soon. Do you want me to stay with her tonight while you’re at the meeting?” “That would be a great help,” Liam said with relief. “I don’t want her to be alone when she wakes up. I actually need to get going right now so that I can look presentable. Do you need to go back to work?” “No, I’m done for the day, and I can do some work here. It’s not a problem,” Regulus assured him. “Go on, then. We’ll be fine here.” Liam nodded and glanced at his sister one more time before he left, closing the door softly behind him. Regulus stared at the door for a few moments and then moved the chair Liam had been sitting in closer to the bed so that he could get a better look at Aislinn. The setting sun cast an orange glow around her through a window above her bed, making her skin look very pale and her blonde hair appear like strands of gold thread spread across the pillow. He could not help but think that her injuries might be his fault. He had made the maps of Diagon Alley and given them to the Dark Lord without question, or at least, no major questioning. He never asked what they were planning to do with them, and never even considered that Lord Voldemort would plan something so large, so atrocious. What was the point? People were already scared enough and this would only heighten security. No one in the Ministry would ever listen to their ideals now; the only logical result to the whole thing was increased pressure against Lord Voldemort and the Death Eaters, and a larger number of Aurors would be dispatched to discover their identities. What am I doing? This was more than just a way to network with powerful witches and wizards, and more than just something to do to please his father. This was turning into an all out war with casualties, and the casualties included people he cared about. Looking down at Aislinn, he remembered her comments to Liam. “You could die, you know. Is it worth all that?” Was it worth all that? Was getting a leg in worth hurting his best mate and his family? If the Dark Lord wins, well… That was it. It all came down to whether or not he thought the Dark Lord would be successful in his campaign, and so far, he seemed to be. He was gathering more followers daily, and this attack on Diagon Alley was unforeseen even by his own followers. He was smart, and he had spies everywhere. He was a Legilimens, and Regulus already owed him his allegiance. He looked back down at Aislinn, Maybe if he wins, and I’m faithful, his most faithful, I can convince him not to hurt them. Surely the Dark Lord would not hurt the only real family his most devoted follower had, would he? If Regulus could manage to do all of his assignments perfectly then the Dark Lord would reward him, and he could request that Liam and Aislinn, and the rest of the Merric family, be left alone. That was worth fighting for, right? Aislinn groaned in her sleep as she attempted to move her cramped legs. Yes, it’s worth fighting for. Liam did not like the Ministry any more than Regulus did. Lord Voldemort was just another way to overthrow the corrupt government. If he had enough followers who were moderate, maybe they could manage to alter his beliefs and change his plans. The wizarding community would agree with a medium course of action, and they would come to accept the Dark Lord as their new leader. What could go wrong? Everything. ~~~~~~ Aislinn still had not awakened by the time Liam returned around midnight. Regulus had crossed his arms on the edge of her mattress to rest his eyes for a moment a few hours earlier, and had promptly fallen asleep. Liam gently shook him awake and gestured toward the hallway. The bright lights dazzled Regulus’ eyes and he took a second to let them adjust before questioning his mate. “Well? What happened?” Liam shrugged, “They’re still advocating a plan of non-violence. They ‘don’t see the value in responding to the aggressor with aggression.’ Fools! They can’t understand that it’s only going to get worse.” “You don’t know that, Liam,” Regulus protested. “Yes, I do!” Liam practically shouted. “You Brits have no idea what it’s like to grow up in a war-torn place. I have, I’ve seen bloodshed with my own eyes. Maybe not in County Clare, but Ireland has experienced its fair share of rivalries based on petty differences. Religion for us, family blood for you, but the cause doesn’t matter. Everyone says that it will all resolve itself, and that we should just go on with our lives. “I can’t do that. I can’t just sit back and let other people try to solve problems that affect me and my family. I have to do something. Will you help me?” “Wh-what?” Liam looked Regulus in the eye, “I have a meeting with the head of the Blood Equality Society next Monday morning. I’m taking Aislinn back to Ireland as soon as she is able to travel through Side-Along Apparition. The Healers said that it will only be a few days, and they gave me the name of a Healer in County Clare that I can have check up on her from time to time to make sure that her injuries do not get worse. I have to go home anyway to explain the situation to my family. It’s about time that they know what is going on.” “So, when will you have time to prepare for this meeting?” Regulus asked, his voice shaky. “I already know what I’m going to say,” Liam assured him. “I just need you to come for support. You know people who are rumoured to be Death Eaters, like your cousin and her husband, Bellatrix and Rodolphus? I’ve heard the name Severus Snape mentioned as well, and Lucius Malfoy. They’re all connected to you through family and social ties, so you have a better idea than I do about what they may be up to. You need to tell this guy that we have to fight back.” “I have to work,” Regulus protested. “I’m trying to earn a living, not fight a war.” “We’re all going to have to fight in this war at some point or another, mate. It’s not going away, no matter how much you want it to.” Liam stared at him for a minute, then said, “Think about it. You might be able to save someone’s life.” He gestured toward the room, “Is she doing all right?” Regulus, startled by the subject change, stammered through his answer, “Uh, yeah, well, she hasn’t woken up yet. I’ve been sitting by her the whole time, of course. She seems to be in pain every once in a while.” Liam looked concerned, “The potions must be wearing off. I’ll grab a nurse to administer more. You should go home, you look awful.” “Thanks for letting me know,” Regulus said with a small laugh. “Well, I will never tire of giving you my personal opinion,” Liam said jokingly, but then turned serious again. “Go on home and get some sleep. We’ll be fine here.” Regulus nodded and said goodnight before Apparating back to their flat. He trudged up the stairs, his foot lagging on each step. What was he supposed to do? Be a double agent? There was no profit in promoting two sides of an issue, as his father had often told him. Invariably, one side would discover that you were not being truthful to their cause and fire you. Soon after, the other side would discover the same thing and then you would lose both of your opportunities. He could not both serve Lord Voldemort and help Liam fight against him. He was still examining these options on Friday afternoon as he sat at his desk, staring at his set of three different coloured inks for use in various types of documentation. Aislinn and Liam were scheduled to return to Ireland that afternoon after she passed her final health check. She had been responding to treatment much better than they expected her to upon her admittance to St. Mungo’s, and she was expected to make a good, if not full, recovery. Liam had continued to pester Regulus about his role in fighting the Dark Lord to the point that Regulus thought Liam might go off his rocker if Regulus said no. Sighing, he dipped his quill into the blue ink and placed it gingerly on the parchment, splotching the beginning of Liam’s name. Liam, I’ll do it. Have a safe trip home. Regulus ~~~~~~ He did not feel like going home after work. The flat was empty, and he did not feel particularly safe at that moment in time. He was going to betray the Dark Lord. Betray. That decision alone bordered on being suicidal. So he decided to take a walk and order his thoughts. Not that that was a particularly safe option, either. To be out in the open made you more vulnerable to attack, especially by an unknown assailant, and especially when one walked around the scene of a recent crime. Regulus was not sure why he decided that Diagon Alley would be the best place to order his thoughts, but it was where he found himself that evening. Now, more than ever, the streets were nearly completely deserted and nearly every shop had signs informing consumers that they would be closing earlier in the day “due to recent events.” The area around the shop that had been blown up by the Death Eaters had been blocked off to traffic while the Aurors searched for any clues as to who may have been there. In true form, no Death Eater left any traces of his presence that could be used to determine his identity. Regulus had not been summoned to the Dark Lord, nor had he talked to Severus, Rodolphus, or Bellatrix, so he could not be sure as to who had been involved in the attack and who had not. He halted on the edge of the magical barrier to survey the wreckage. The spell had caused the entire shop to collapse into itself and then blow out onto the street. It had actually caused two actions, rather than just one, a fact that was baffling to the Aurors attempting to help the Healers discover the way to reverse the damage, rather than just halt it. Even though he had no idea about the Dark Lord’s spell creators, Regulus still felt responsible somehow for what had happened. Even though anyone could have made a map of Diagon Alley for Lord Voldemort, Regulus still felt that it was he who was responsible for Aislinn’s injuries. “It’s not your fault, you know,” said a soft voice behind him. He turned around to see the dark silhouette of Severus leaning against a nearby wall. “Bugger off,” Regulus snarled. Severus slunk toward him, “Testy, are we? I suppose it has been a long week for you.” He laughed shortly, “You suppose it’s been a long week for me? You suppose? I’ve been up half of the nights this week trying to help my best mate figure out what’s wrong with his sister, and not being able to do anything about it, all the while knowing that I am, if minimally, responsible for her injuries.” “All right, minimally, but that’s not totally,” Severus conceded as he walked closer. “That’s not the half of it,” Regulus continued. “Now my best mate has to take her home and explain to their family that all is not as they thought it was in our world. He has to tell them that every day when he leaves our flat he’s in danger of torture, kidnapping, and death just because of his birth. He has to tell them that he has been lying for the past seven years.” “Again, not your fault,” Severus said with a sigh. “He’s the one who decided to keep it all to himself.” “And now he’s going to put himself in more danger.” Severus laughed, “Well, he was always going to do that.” “I’m through. That’s it. I’m gone.” The two men studied each other, Regulus’ back to the wreckage. They were standing just feet apart now, close enough that Regulus could smell the scent of alcohol on Severus’ breath. Time seemed to stand still as Severus looked him over, studying his features and then looking him straight in the eye. “That’s not really what you want to do.” Regulus shook his head, “Oh, trust me, it is. I want to end this madness and get on with my life. This will all just be a bad nightmare.” “No, really, Regulus. That’s not really what you want,” Severus continued. “You want power and glory; you just don’t want the consequences. I’m sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but there are consequences to everything that you do, good and bad. So you made maps of Diagon Alley for the Dark Lord and it just happened to be the place that he was going to attack soon afterwards. So what? You’re earning his trust, little by little.” “I thought I wanted that, and now I’m not sure,” Regulus hissed. Severus folded his arms, “You want to keep Liam and his family safe, but you can’t do that. They have to choose to do that. You can’t control the fate of anyone, no matter what you say. Life is too variable, and you never know where people are going to be. You couldn’t control the fact that Aislinn was here at this very spot when they came out and set off that spell, any more than you are able to control what the weather is going to be like tomorrow. So what, leave it and move on. We have work to do.” “Is that what you call this? Work? I call it hurting people, shedding innocent blood,” Regulus said, and turned to leave. “I don’t have to listen to this. I’m going home.” “And he’ll know of your response before you even get there. I’ll make sure of that.” “Bullocks, Snape!” Regulus exploded. “Why are you doing this?” “Because you made a promise, a deal, and you can’t back out of it,” Severus said. “And I don’t call shedding blood ‘work,’ I call it an unfortunate side effect of our work. Our work is to change society for the better and to show them that our government is corrupt and must be stopped. Don’t you agree?” Regulus snapped back irritably, “Of course I do! But why do all this? Why can’t we just appeal to them like normal people? Why would they want to follow a leader who kills to get what he wants?” “This was for effect, not to kill anyone. They got too close,” Severus said. “Oh, sure, they never meant to kill the owner of that shop,” Regulus replied sarcastically. Severus cocked his eyebrow, “Actually, according to your blueprints, that shop was deserted. No one was in it.” “What? I don’t remember drawing anything about a deserted shop.” Severus reached into his robes, “Look right here.” He pointed to a part of the map since circled in red. “Deserted.” Regulus saw the word briefly, but did not get a close look at it because Severus rolled the map back into a scroll, and then handed it to Regulus. “Here, we used it, and it is of no more use to us.” “You’re just going to give it back to me?” Regulus was taken aback. Severus shrugged, “Well, we’d like you to have a blueprint just in case the Dark Lord wants you to draw more maps.” “But I don’t want to do this anymore,” Regulus insisted. “How about I give you the weekend to figure it out, hmm? We’ll meet after work on Monday for a drink and we can talk it over then.” “You might as well tell him my answer now,” Regulus said. “It isn’t going to change.” Severus looked at the sky for a moment and then looked back at Regulus again, “We’ll see. I’ll leave you to your wallowing for now. Have a good evening.” He Disapparated, leaving Regulus feeling as confused as ever. ~~~~~~ Sunday evening came quicker than he expected it to, and he spent most of it in the Leaky Cauldron. One pint of Butterbeer turned into two, then three. Then the bartender suggested something a little stronger, and he had his first legal taste of Ogden’s Old Firewhiskey. He was seeing double by nine o’clock, and decided that it was about time to stumble back to the flat. He was no nearer to figuring out what he was going to do. He knew that he had to be sharp for the meeting the next morning, but at that moment in time he didn’t care. He just wanted to forget about it all and wallow some more, as Severus had said. Severus. He was no closer to figuring out what he was going to say to him the next afternoon. He wanted the recognition, but not the sacrifice. He wanted the power, but he did not want to do the things that he was expected to do to get there. He wanted the contacts, but he wanted his best mate more. Regulus was able to drag himself home easier than he expected to in his half-coherent state, though once he reached the flat he managed to run into every piece of furniture in the house before making it to his room, where he collapsed on the bed and groaned as he thought about the awful hangover he was going to have the next morning. He realized that he had accidentally sat on the blueprints of Diagon Alley and, not wanting to wrinkle them any more than he already had, he reached under his body to grab them and placed them face up on his desk. He had glanced at them a bit over the weekend, but since he was planning on leaving the service of the Dark Lord they did not much matter to him anymore. He thought it might be fun to take them out in the country and set them aflame, and hopefully burn away the memories as well. His last thought before falling into slumber was a happy one, about how much he would enjoy not keeping secrets from Liam anymore and being able to be a free man once again. The last thing he expected was to wake up the next morning to find Liam standing above his desk, holding the map he had made and staring at him with a look of intense loathing. ~~~~~~ Author’s Note: Thanks bunches, again, to Arnel for her excellent beta skills, and also to my father, Cygnus, for beta-ing en route to Amsterdam. On a personal note, this chapter is devoted to Rachel and the beach crew.
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