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Author: Lady Chi Story: With All My Love Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 9 Words: 60,540
Very suddenly, Peter wished that he had at least been competent in some of his Defense Against the Dark Arts classes, wished that James or Sirius had come with him, wished that he'd had the guts to admit that he might need help. "I don't really think I'm in the mood to have fun, gentlemen," he admitted, taking slow steps backward towards the door. "At least, not this kind of fun." "See, blokes, it's like I told you," one of the younger Slytherin students said. "He's too much of a coward to play with the big boys." "It's not that!" Peter protested, his courage being a sensitive subject with him. "It's just that I don't agree with this kind of magic." "You mean Dark Magic?" another of the participants sneered, his face so distorted by the flickering light that Peter couldn't tell who he was. "Can't handle it, Pettigrew?" "No!" Peter shouted. "I just don't like to play with things that I don't understand." "Of course not," Cameron soothed, taking the few steps forward to reach Peter's side and touching his palm to Peter's left forearm. Chills ran up and down Peter's spine. "Pettigrew isn't quite sure what's happening here, gentlemen. Perhaps someone should tell him of the Great Myth." Nods and whispers of agreement passed throughout the room. "I say Nielson does it," Cameron suggested. A very tall, gaunt-looking boy stepped forward into the semi-circle formed by the group of Slytherin students. "All of your life, you have been fed a lie," he began, his voice soft and persuading, like a lover's fingers stroking the skin of the object of his affection. Many of the members of the group leaned back, their bodies visibly reacting to the timbre of his voice. "You have been told that there are two categories into which every action, every belief and every magic must fall. The good and evil, or, if you wish to be even more quaint, the Light and the Dark." "It's not a lie!" Peter protested, but found that at the very first sound of protest, two burly young men stepped up to grip his arms, making it impossible for him to move. Still struggling, he shook his head desperately. "If that's a lie, then none of the principles of magic work." "Have you been listening to Potter and Black when they talk about magical theory?" Nielson asked, his voice practically dripping with disdain. "Of course you have. You worship the ground they walk on. How could I have forgotten such a sad and dismal fact? Well, then, since you've proven yourself an adept listener, let's test your comprehension skills. Why wouldn't the principles of magic work, if the thing I just suggested were, indeed, true?" Desperately, Peter tried to recall the conversation. He knew that it had taken place during one of their attempts to become Animagi. James and Sirius had gone on and gone on about intent, and drawing on magical sources, and bunches of other mumbo-jumbo he hadn't been able to understand. Frustrated, Peter ground his teeth together. "Can't come up with an answer, can you?" Peter growled low in his throat. "No, but that's only because I can't remember. It has something to do with magical intent." "Ah, so you've been fed that story, have you?" Nielson chuckled and rubbed his hands together. "This will be easier than I had previously anticipated. "Magic cannot be termed Dark or Light, because no matter what the intent, a witch or wizard draws on the same bank of magical 'energy'. Therefore, magic is innately neutral. It belongs to neither side." "It's not the magic, then, it's the person casting the spell!" Peter shouted out, his arms in serious pain from the grip of the two men holding him. "Who are you to label a person as good or evil? Are you such a Divine Presence that you can see into the hearts and minds of other people and judge them such?" "No, that's not what I'm saying." "Perhaps you should think, then, before you open your mouth. That would serve you well, Peter Pettigrew. Do you wonder why so many people think so little of you?" "I have friends," Peter protested, albeit weakly. "Please," Nielson taunted. "Those aren't friends. Those are magnets. Peter, Peter, Peter, we're trying to get you to think for yourself. I was much like you, myself, until I encountered the Dark Lord, Lord Voldemort." When he said the name, his face lit up with a smile so intense it was hard to look at him, while Peter visibly winced. "He told me that all my years in school were made harder due to my confusion over Dark and Light… that to be truly powerful, you had to be willing to use both 'kinds' of magic, and since the distinctions were useless, anyway, I wasn't doing anything wrong. "Imagine, Peter, the joy you could feel when you finally accomplish what your friends have been doing all these years -- casting spells without laboring like you were running a five-mile race, being able to get things right the first time, with little to no explanation. It could all be yours, if you would just listen to what we have to say." Everything within Peter fought against what Nielson was telling him, but there was a small part in the back of his mind that whispered to him that maybe what Nielson was saying had some grain of truth to it. "I don't want to have anything to do with you, or your Dark Lord," Peter hissed, the grip on his arms growing more and more tight with every passing minute. "Let me go. I don't…." Unable to finish his sentence, because each of his guards had begun to twist his arm in an excruciating manner, Peter just bit his lip and began to pray for someone, anyone, to rescue him. ** Something was not right. James sat up in the middle of the room and began to listen to the sounds of the night. Sirius was still snoring. Remus kicked his comforters off in reaction to something he saw in a dream, and Peter… was not there! Launching himself out of bed, James immediately pulled on a pair of trousers and a sweater and set out for Lily's room. Peter wouldn't leave the dormitory by himself without a motivation, and James had a feeling that his motivation was one that would cause trouble. So, barefoot, hair uncombed, and eyes wide, he knocked four times on the door to Lily's room at one o'clock in the morning, a unique privilege allowed to him because he was the Head Boy. "I can't believe I'm doing this," he muttered to himself, but he had another feeling he was going to need the help of another authority figure with this one. The door flung open, and Lily stood in the middle of the doorway, wearing a long sleeveless nightdress, dressing gown and slippers. With her hair in a ponytail, and her eyes not quite open, she looked less than pleased to see James at her door. "What do you want at this hour of the night? What can you possibly need?" "Help," James said simply. That caught her attention, and everything about her stilled. "What's going on?" "Peter's not in the dormitory. I know he wouldn't leave voluntarily without a good reason, and I think that this time, his good reason may not be so good." "Great," Lily whispered. "How are we supposed to find him?" James thought for a moment. The Marauders Map worked, but there was no way to disguise its nature from Lily. James mentally kicked himself. He could have just checked the map in the first place and called upon Remus and Sirius to help him. It was too late now, however, and he had already woken Lily up. Later on he would have time to ponder his choice. However, all his instincts told him that this was not the time hesitate over helping his friend. "I'll explain on the way." Nodding, although she was still a bit confused and overwhelmed by his sense of urgency, Lily did as he asked and followed him down the stairs toward the common room. "We've got a map of Hogwarts," he explained hastily. "It shows where everything, and more importantly everyone, is on the Hogwarts school grounds." "James! That's a bit like… spying." "Yes. It would be a good espionage tool, but--" James pulled the portrait door open and gestured for her to leave before him "-- we designed it before the beginning of the war. Now we've got to find a way to hide it so that no one except those that know the password can get into it. Unfortunately, none of the security spells we've found so far have been secure enough for us to sleep well at night." "I see," Lily muttered. "Why not just destroy the map, then?" James looked at her, a shocked expression on his face. "If it can be used against Hogwarts, it can be used just as well for Hogwarts." Lily nodded. That statement made exceptional sense, but then again, she'd just been awakened in the middle of the night and her brain wasn't quite functioning at full force yet. James pulled the map out of his pocket and perused it quickly. What he saw gave him an even greater cause for alarm than any feeling he had felt previously. "Come on, Peter's in the Astrology Tower with a bunch of Slytherins. This can't be good. In fact --" he consulted the map again " -- I think we might be headed for a bit more trouble than we originally planned for." "Oh?" Lily asked, wishing that James would stop being so cryptic and just come right out with what he meant. "I might be wrong, I mean, I don't have a lot of experience in this area, but judging from the way they're set up on the map, they may be enacting a dark circle." "Merlin," Lily breathed. "How does one deal with that?" James smiled. "Very, very carefully." That drew a reluctant laugh from Lily, but only a short one. "Why would Peter be in the Astrology Tower this late at night with people he can't even get along with?" Lily wondered out loud. "Can I see that map?" "Of course, if you can read it and keep up with me. I've got a bad feeling about this one," James admitted. What James didn't admit was that if they didn't hurry, he was very concerned that the young Slytherin students might try to exercise an Unforgivable Curse, and then Lily and James would really be out of their league. "Yes, well, I've got a feeling it's nothing we can't take care of together." James laughed and handed her the map. "You're confident." "Hey, we've already stopped a group of adult Death Eaters. This can't be that bad," Lily said, though her voice trembled. "There certainly are a lot of them in there, though." "Agreed. I don't know what Peter was thinking. I'm wondering if it was his choice to go to the Astronomy Tower tonight at all," James said. "What? There's no way the Slytherins could break into the common room. It's practically impenetrable from any direction. They wouldn't be able to get through the Fat Lady, and going up the side of the tower is impractical with all the vines, not to mention that the windows would be entirely too small for someone of even a petite build to get through." "That's a little bit obvious," James admitted. "Think about it, though. There are other ways of getting people to do things. You don't have to come in and kidnap them. Believe me, I know from experience. Peter is very easily manipulated. I don't really think they'd even need magic to convince him he was doing the brave thing by coming out to this meeting of… whatever it is." Lily shook her head. "Poor Peter. He doesn't deserve anything bad like this to happen to him." James turned and looked at her, one eyebrow raised. "If people always got what they deserved, that would make the world strangely… fair, wouldn't it?" Nervously laughing, Lily said, "If there is one thing the world is not, it's fair." "Indeed," James said, and threw open the door that led to the Astronomy Tower. "We'd better forsake manners here and let me go first up the stairs." "Why? Is it because I'm a girl? Do you think I can't handle it if they start hitting me with curses and spells and hexes?" Lily demanded, her cheeks suddenly red with fury. James shrugged. "I just remembered that you don't do so well with heights." At the look of consternation on her face, he hurriedly pressed forward, "and I'm a quicker draw than you." Resigned to that inevitable fact, Lily sighed. "All right. But if they hit you with something nasty, don't fall down on me, okay?" James grinned. "Charming, as always, Miss Evans." "I try my best, Mr. Potter." "All right, then, here goes nothing." Taking a deep breath, James stepped up and through to the Astronomy Tower. What he saw shocked him only momentarily. Peter was being held firmly by the arms by two burly young Slytherin men, who happened to be Beaters for Slytherin's Quidditch team. Furious, James adapted a strong stance, wand drawn. "All right, you lot," he said, his voice breaking through Peter's whimpering. "Everybody put their wands down." "Put yours down first, Potter," one of them shouted. "I don't think so," Lily responded evenly, standing just slightly behind James. "That's not how the game works, gentlemen." James was inwardly seething. "You've got a lot of nerve, Nielson, setting up a dark circle on Hogwarts grounds. This isn't just a little playtime fun, is it?" "You're playing with things you don't understand, Potter," Nielson replied evenly, keeping his wand parallel to the ground, not wavering like some of the other people in the room were. James smirked. "I'm more familiar with what you're dealing with than you are, I suspect. Do you realize that Dark Magic causes a degenerative affect on your body? Every time you cast a spell with intent to harm someone else, there is a direct and equal effect on your body. 'What goes around comes around' in its most poetic application, so to speak." "Lies," Nielson responded evenly. "There are no distinctions between the Magics." "Oh, really? Who told you that?" Lily asked, a feeling desperation rising up from the pit of her stomach. "The Dark Lord," Nielson replied nonchalantly, as though admitting he had met with a wizard who was literally creating a rebellion was not treason to the Crown. "Is that so?" James asked, entirely too calmly for Lily's own peace of mind. "Tell me then, Mr. Nielson, have you ever seen Voldemort's face?" "It's the Dark Lord, and…." His voice trailing off, Nielson struggled to recall a time when he had. "Let me save you the suspense. This Voldemort hasn't shown you his face because it is slowly rotting off the bones of his facial structure, most likely. Someone has been lying to you, Nielson, and it wasn't your parents, or the administration of this school, and it certainly wasn't me. Who does that leave, then?" As he finished, James silently thanked his absent parents for their lectures on the evils of using Dark Magic. "The Dark Lord said you would try to turn me against you. I must be strong." "No, you must be logical," Lily interjected. "For Merlin's sake, can't you see what's going on here? Voldemort is the ultimate bully. He preyed on your weaknesses, convinced you that he alone can solve all your problems." "He's not solving my problems. I'm solving my problems," Nielson responded, a note of desperation in his voice. "He's just giving me the tools to do it on my terms." "Did you plan to go 'round hexing everyone who had ever insulted you?" James scoffed. "That's impracticable and highly conspicuous, I might add." "James," Lily rebuked softly. "Come on, Nielson, let Peter go. He hasn't done anything to you, has he? You're just providing them with another victim." "That's right, I am. When he's the victim, I'm not." Slowly, James took a step towards Nielson and motioned for Lily to stay where she was to distract Nielson. "You don't have to be the victim if you don't want to be," Lily soothed, praying in her head that Nielson wouldn't go off half-cocked and hurt James. "You can stand up to everyone that's ever hurt you without the benefit of Dark Magic." "No, I can't." Nielson was so wrapped up in his own dialogue he didn't notice James's methodical and patient approach, but Peter did. He gave a silent cheer and thanked the Higher Power for James's cunning. "Put the wand down," Lily suggested calmly, intending this to be one last warning before James had to physically and magically subdue him. "No," Nielson said just as vehemently as he had previously, only now his wand was shaking with intense emotion. "You can't take it away from me. It's my right. I'm a pureblood. I deserve this!" "Expelliarmus! Petrificus Totalus!" Unfortunately for Nielson, James was a very quick draw with his wand. With a quick flick of his wand and a few words, James had dispatched Nielson in a matter of moments. It was at that very second that the rest of the crowd, who had been silent and still, observing the confrontation between their leader and their Head Boy, began to panic. They moved in a mob towards the door, but were stopped instantly by James and Lily, standing shoulder to shoulder, wands drawn. "Put your wands on the floor and form a line," Lily instructed, and as soon as her orders were obeyed, James gathered them up while Lily watched the crowd warily. It made her heart ache that she couldn't trust her schoolmates anymore, but something had told her that this was what the war was going to do to the wizard society that she loved so much. Peter was released immediately, and while James and Lily organized the Slytherins to face punishment, he stood off to the side, feeling very pitiful and very alone. As the line headed off for Dumbledore's office, James gripped Peter's shoulders and flashed him a smile. "Good show, old boy. You didn't give in to them. You know, nobody really gives you enough credit around here. It takes a talented wizard to hold out from all that mind-numbing idiocy that Nielson character was spitting at you." "Really?" Unexpected and unwanted tears flowed to his eyes, but Peter refused to allow them to fall. "I'm sorry you had to come rescue me." "It's only what you would have done for me in the same circumstances. Besides which, nobody expects to be able to successfully fight thirteen other students and come away alive," James said staunchly, and walked off, trailing the end of the line with his hands in his pockets and his eyes on the Slytherins. But that was the problem, Peter thought to himself. He would certainly want to rescue James in a situation like he had just endured, but he wouldn't be able to do so. He didn't have the power, or the talent. A strange resolve passed over Peter then. He was going to become just as talented, just as powerful as James and Sirius could ever hope to be, if not more so! ** I want to take this opportunity to thank everyone who left so many kind and considerate words for me following the last chapter. It's always nice of everyone to let me know that you're reading and enjoying my fic. It certainly makes all the work and effort worth the while. Super, huge, humungous, gargantuan thanks go out to Anne and DPR for their fantabulous beta'ing jobs, especially Anne, for making sure the little details didn't throw out the suspension of reality. I want to thank Carissa, for confronting me about Peter and making me explain myself, and super huge thanks go out to Amy, for caring enough to read what I write.
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