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Author: Elsha Story: Distractions Rating: Young Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 7 Words: 24,546
Chapter Six - Farewells That Saturday Theo got to the small practice room first. He pulled out the piano stool, sat, and spread his music out. This was definitely a time for distraction, and if Anne didn't want to play music, she could damn well leave. He didn't want to talk, or laugh, or discuss exams, or…or anything. His father was in Azkaban. It wasn't the mere fact of public humiliation that hurt. Malfoy's pride was definitely smarting over this, his father who was so admired and respected by everyone - everyone who counted - jailed like a "common criminal". The morning Prophet had not had everything, or even anything, just a small article saying several Azkaban escapees had been recaptured, and sent back, along with several others including Ministry officials. While Theo didn't precisely appreciate the stares, mutters, and satisfied laughter, he'd dealt with the idea of everyone knowing back in March, when public opinion swung towards Potter and his story being true. It was a bitter cup to swallow, but it was no more than the truth. For someone who stayed out of the way, it didn't matter. Malfoy wanted it all; the public respect and the private power. He couldn't handle public humiliation, because he chose to try for public acclaim. He was, Theo considered, not all that bright when it came to some things. It was the thought of his father in prison, in Azkaban that hurt. Locked up with the Dementors for Merlin knew how long, where Theo could neither see him or speak to him. He missed his family over the school year. He'd been looking forward to going home and seeing his father, to getting his OWL results and seeing what he thought, to telling him all about his school year in more detail than letters could manage. Well, not everything, but what he didn't need to know couldn't hurt him. And the pleasure of being home, and sleeping in his own bed. Hearing his father come home late at night, and the hints he dropped about where he'd been, things Theo didn't want to know, or seeing secret gatherings and pretending not to see or hear because they would Obliviate him if they thought he had, and knowing what was coming. But for all that - which had only begun last summer - he missed home. He missed his father. Now he wouldn’t even go home. He'd be shuttled off to some relative, probably his aunt and his pestering cousins. He would be spending the summer far away from the Yorkshire moors where he'd been born and brought up, with people who would make him try to be sociable. He would be trapped. And his father, his father would be locked in Azkaban, trapped as well. All his happiness being sucked out by the Dementors, and surrounded by people who would blame him for waltzing to freedom when they had been jailed for their crimes. Theo thought that he was, really, quite sensible about his father. He knew what he had done, what he would do, in the Dark Lord's service. But still, it was his father. His whole family, in some ways. And all the meanwhile Potter waltzed away, Dumbledore’s golden boy, for all the scorn he’d got this year – because now he was vindicated, now everyone would be falling over themselves to apologise for not believing him – and because of him Theo’s father was rotting in Azkaban - But…what did Potter have? His parents were dead before he even knew them. He had grown up in the Muggle world, without magic, without anything that counted. He’d been nearly killed so many times. Theo knew what death meant, but Potter had stared it in the face so often…he stamped hard on the momentary flicker of sympathy. He wouldn’t understand Potter, or feel sorry for him. He wouldn’t. Theo refused to stoop to putting all the blame on him – in his place, Theo knew what he would have done, and sending Death Eaters to Azkaban would have been the least of it – yet this wasn’t about sense, this was about his father. The music drew to a crescendo and Theo stopped thinking, deliberately drowning himself in it because it had always worked before- The door creaked. Theo ignored it, focusing on the music, but his concentration was ruined. He knew precisely who would be standing behind him, and she brought up all the thoughts of the last two days. "Oh, don't stop on my account," Anne said, in a touch of irony he was sure she hadn’t intended. Hadn’t he said the same thing to her, four months and more ago? "I don't get the chance to hear you play by yourself very often." "Doesn't matter. I can never stay distracted when you're in here, anyway." Theo turned around. Anne looked troubled; she had put her bag on the table, but stood there with the strap over her shoulder, looking at him. She blinked. "Er-what?" Theo realised the statement had not made much sense. "I meant - oh, never mind. It's complicated." "Right." They both just looked at each other for a minute. "I'm sorry about your father" said Anne eventually. "I mean, that is, I know you…you'll miss him, and I…I…" she trailed off into silence. "No you're not," said Theo harshly. If Anne was going to remind him about this whole bloody mess, she could pay for it. "He's a Death Eater. He's in jail because he helped break into the Ministry of Magic. For the Dark Lord. You're not sorry about that. Him in Azkaban is one less Death Eater to try and kill you for being Muggle-born. So don't go lying, because there's no damn-" Anne was looking at her toes, now, and going faintly red. "I knew this wasn't going to work," she said in a very small voice. "Trying to lie to make me feel better?" "No." She shook her head, but she didn't look up. "Trying to explain - drat." She did look up, then. "I mean yes, I am sorry, but not for your father. I don't know him. But-" "But what?" Theo was beginning to feel more than a little out of his depth. He wished Anne would shut up, leave, or get her flute out. Continued attempts at some sort of sympathy were not only perplexing, but irritating in that he felt she was genuine. She wasn't supposed to feel genuinely sorry for him, and if she did, he didn't want her to, because he didn't need her to. All in all, maybe it would be a good idea if she left. Anne chewed her lip for a second, abandoned her post near the door, and hauled up the room's sole chair next to the piano stool. Then she sat, or rather, perched on the edge, as if she expected to be sent on her way very soon. The idea was tempting, no matter the consequences. "What I'm trying to say, is, I don't really care about what happens to your father," she began "but I do feel bad because I know you feel bad about it, and if it was my father, I'd feel awful. Because we had that talk about family, and how you care about your father just as much as I care about my parents. So I feel sorry for you." She paused. "That came out wrong." "I don't want -" Anne regarded him with a slight look of amusement. "- my pity. Mmm, I thought so." Theo shut his mouth and glared. Why did she have to bring humour into this? On second thought, though, she had managed to stop him sounding like a total idiot. "Fine," he ground out. "But I don't." "Fair enough. I did say it came out wrong." She was going steadily redder. "What I mean, is, you have my sympathy. Oh, drat, that doesn't sound good, either. I mean I don't care about your father, but I do care about you, and-" With a groan, she buried her face in her hands. Theo could have sworn he heard her mutter "Oh God, let me die now." He felt, in some odd way, that it was now his obligation to make a move. "Um. Thanks. For that. Because, I, uh, don't think I'll be hearing that from many people any time soon." Anne looked up. "Which part of it?" He couldn't help smiling a bit. "All of it, probably." "Even from the other people whose parents got arrested?" He snickered. "Tell me, Anne, can you really see Draco Malfoy telling me that I have his sympathy? Or that he cares about me?" Anne made a face. "Yuck." "Besides," he added "he probably won’t be in there for all that long anyway." "How do you figure that?" "There've been two breakouts from Azkaban, now, a third can't be that hard to arrange. Now the Ministry knows the Dark Lord has returned, the fortress will probably be abandoned in a month or so-" "The Dementors will be working for You Know Who." Anne said it flatly. Theo remembered for her, these weren't abstract concepts, mattering only in terms of what she decided to do; this was about an army massing, and her a target… "Yes. So I - Dad won't be in there for very long." Theo was saying it to reassure himself it would be all right. He still had some nasty choices, but his father would, at least, be back… "Wait a minute. Since when has the Ministry acknowledged that the Dark - that You-Know-Who is really back? There wasn't anything in the paper, just some stuff about the Death Eaters that got captured-" "I…got a letter from my aunt. They're going to announce it on Sunday." Anne closed her eyes, for a minute, then opened them. She looked lost, now, younger than her fifteen years. "I'm scared." "I know," said Theo quietly. She had every reason to be. He only had to stay neutral; for her, there was no choice but to fight, or hope that others could protect her…others wouldn't understand that, but he knew what it would be like. Terror. "If I…I wouldn't let them kill you" he said abruptly. As if he had any power to do that, when he'd admitted all he was out for was keeping his own neck safe, but he didn't like the way she looked, not calm like normal, but terrified of the future. "Thanks." She smiled at him, trying to look brave, and failing miserably. "I hate this. It's all so…stupid. Knowing there are people out there who'll want to kill me for nothing I've done…I mean, I know why, you've explained it, but still…it was maybe not going to happen, then." Theo shuffled a bit closer to her. He tried to see what he once had; just a Muggle-born; and found he couldn't. Oh, he still knew they weren't the same…but Anne was right, she had turned into his exception. What he was seeing was a pretty girl who he knew very well by now, who was really quite close to him, and he wasn't probably going to see her again for three months and- Help. She's Muggle-born, remember? He compromised his unease and his sudden compassion by ruffling her hair, earning a dirty look, and suggesting that they get on and play some music, since it was the last Saturday of the term. Anne readily agreed, apparently eager to get on to something that would distract her. Makes two of us. He watched as she got out her flute and her music from her bag. "Hey, I forgot!" She held up two bottles of Butterbeer. "I brought these after all. We can have them later." "What piece do you want to play?" "How about that flute sonata? You know, the one you barged in here and gave to me…" "If I can find it." He had to go through his folder; they seemed to have collected quite a repertoire over six months. "Here we go." Anne was just spreading the music out on her stand. "Ready?" Theo put his hands to the keys, and looked at her sideways. She raised her flute to her mouth. "Your intro." "Oh, right. One, two, three, four-" No matter what happened, he reflected as he played, they would always have this. Music was something that you couldn't stop sharing, after all. This had begun, for him, as a distraction from thoughts of what was going to come; turned into a friendship that made him think about the coming war; and seemed to be evolving into…something that allowed them both to be distracted by music. Which was all. Really. If music be the food of love, play on… Okay, where did that thought come from? Yuck. Sentimentality. I've been corrupted. Eventually they did break out the Butterbeer, and recounted the various horrors of exam week. Theo told Anne all about the scene from the Astronomy Tower; Anne recounted the boredom of the fourth-year Defence test ("at least you got to do a practical bit, I was annoyed.") At about four, they conceded defeat by the clock, and began to pack things up. The last thing either needed was an interrogation about where they'd been, after two successful terms of hiding things. "Just think, we won't see each other for three months," said Anne. "Lots can happen in three months," said Theo darkly. "I hope my father lets me come back." "I hope mine do. I've been…well, I haven't exactly explained to them about everything that's been happening. I still might not." "I wouldn't," said Theo, shrugging. "What they don't know can't hurt them." Except when it kills them, and knowing can’t change that. "And you're right, they might keep you away." "You'll not be telling your - your family a few things, either," observed Anne. "Me, for one." "Would you tell your parents-" "That I know you? Yeah. They don't understand about the Houses, or anything. But not quite everything. Your father - well, explaining what Death Eaters are will be bad enough. "Hey, Mum, Dad, there are these people who will probably want to kill me for existing, and maybe you, too."" "You- they'll go for important targets, first. People who've married Muggle-borns, or Muggles, who're traitors to their bloodlines. Or Muggle-borns themselves. Your family would just be- well, collateral da-" He cut off. He didn't want to finish that sentence. "Don't." "If I hear anything - that might affect you - I'll let you know," Theo promised. His insides twisted as he said it. He was committing himself to something that could potentially get him - but it wasn't as if his mail was monitored, and…there were limits to neutrality, unfortunately. Letting Anne die because he’d known something and failed to warn her crossed every one of them. "I forgot about owl post, we can still write," suggested Anne. "Unless you think that wouldn't be safe-" "Nah, I have my own owl." "Will you be staying somewhere where it's safe to owl me?" Theo shrugged. "I don't know. Probably my aunt and uncle's, but I don't think they'd notice me owling a friend at any rate. As long as yours doesn't turn up at the breakfast table. They'll have…other things to keep them busy." "Yeah." They stood looking at each other, neither one sure what to do. "Bye, then," said Anne eventually. She gave Theo a hug. He returned it, but… "Can I-" He stopped. This was not how it was supposed to go. I shouldn’t be doing this, that's why! Anne was looking a little nervous herself. She bit her lip, looking down. Theo wasn’t sure what to say, but really didn’t want to leave things on this note, not at the end of the year. But Anne pre-empted him by going on tiptoe to give him a hasty peck on the cheek. "Er, um, see you after the holidays," she mumbled. Theo, feeling a decided need to seize the moment, surprised even himself by returning it. "You, uh, you too." They stepped away from each other rather hurriedly, Theo for one not knowing quite where to look. This was seeming like a very good moment to leave. "See you on the first Saturday back?" "Of course. You better practice over the holidays!" "You, too." Anne smiled at him, still a little red but slightly less awkward, then was gone in a rush. Theo thought she might be slightly discomfited. Well, Merlin knew he was. After all, what had possessed her to do that? Or him, for that matter? Still…he'd ended up sharing far too much with Anne as it was; why worry about this? And you’re making a rather ridiculous fuss over a kiss on the cheek. Stop it. He just wished he was going to see her before next September. The holidays were, now he thought about it, so long. *** Anne stood in her dorm, looking around. Her trunks had gone; she had just nipped up to make sure everything was gone. It had been, after all, a relatively eventful year - compared to her first four. Her eyes swept over the spot where Gwaihir's cage had stood. At least she'd be getting news, over the summer. She intended to get the Daily Prophet, as well; and the other girls would send her letters. She wouldn't be uninformed. She would just be cut off from the magic world. And Theo. That was a definite downside; she was still trying to decide what she thought about him. She wasn’t sure why she had kissed him on the cheek, it wasn’t like she had known him all that long, but he hadn’t seemed to mind, and she did quite like getting away with hugging him. And he did ruffle her hair sometimes, and it was really annoying, so – she did like Theo, not like that, but – well, maybe like that, he was the only boy she really felt comfortable around, but! - anyway, she could use some time to think a bit about that. As for news, there were always the Martins, but Elise was still young, it was hard to talk to adults…and it wasn't the same as being able to do magic. At least they'd understand about the war. Magic or her family. She wished it didn't work like that, but… Only 'till I'm seventeen. Then I can do magic at home. Sarah poked her head around the door. "What are you waiting for, Anne, we're all down by the door! Hurry up or the carriages will go!" "I'm coming, I'm coming," said Anne as she left the dorm with Sarah. "Sad to be going home?" "Nah, it'll be good to see home again. And with everything that's happened, I want to see my parents, y'know?" The Sunday Prophet had had all he details of the fight at the Ministry - well, Anne suspected it had been edited quite a bit, but most of what counted was there. The paper had swung - as the entire Wizarding world seemed to -from ridicule to panic. The Hufflepuffs were trying to stay calm, but… "Me too," said Anne. "It's going to be hard explaining this all to them, though…" "You'll be fine," said Sarah, slinging an arm around her shoulders for a quick hug. "No-one's going to be after you. I wouldn't be in someone like Hermione Granger's shoes for anything, now." "No-one was after Cedric Diggory, either." "That was an accident. Wrong place, wrong time. That won't happen to any of us." Sarah was breezily confident, something Anne wished she could emulate. "Maybe not." She smiled at Sarah. "Or maybe. But I guess you're right. No point worrying." "That's right. C'mon!" Sarah hurried her on to one of the horseless carriages, where Gabby, Mai and Ellie were waiting. As she climbed in, Anne turned her head for a last look at Hogwarts. She would see it soon enough…and Theo…and she still had music. And letters. Plenty of distractions. Some more than others …Lord knows what’s going to happen the next time I see Theo…even if it won’t be for ages, dammit… Mind back on track here! Sarah's probably right. Worry about tomorrow when it happens. And enjoy the distractions while I can.
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