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Author: hewithnoname Story: Dog Star Rating: Everyone Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 10 Words: 11,972
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is owned by J.K. Rowling, and various
other affiliates. No profit is intended in the publication of this
story. Harry felt numb; he was just coming back from Dumbledore's office after hearing the prophecy. On top of losing Sirius and dragging his friends to the Department of Mysteries, he now had to deal with this. He needed to get out of here, out of this place and out of this situation. He wandered aimlessly, the chattering of the students' idle gossip was a red flag to his emotions. He climbed the stairs and hid in secret passageways, finding no solitude in the dark damp walls. It would seem even the paintings were against him, mocking him by their desperate way of existence; the very way they clung onto life, still living and going on living. The knot in his stomach was reaching painful heights. His reply was cruel; it reminded him that he was still alive, if only to exist to defeat Voldemort. He did not deserve to live, his only purpose for existence was to kill, or be killed. "Some future, Potter." Harry mumbled to himself. He had somehow ended up in the astronomy tower. The cold morning air ripped at his face. The feeling of pain was a comfort to him. He crouched down and sat on the cold stone floor. A small tear fell from his eye. Harry closed his eyes to the world, hugging his legs to himself and rocking back and forth. * * * * Hermione awoke with a start, the pain in her chest causing her to cry out. She looked around, she was not dead, and the pain confirmed this. She had thought all of this was a dream, that it was a horrible travesty of memories filling her mind and tearing at her soul. But the reality was even more horrible to comprehend. She had a feeling that something was not right. She turned her head and saw Ron in the bed next to her asleep. She needed to see Harry. A feeling of dread consumed her. She knew he was in pain and that he needed someone to talk to. Maybe Sirius could help him? He had always helped Harry in some way or another. She was brought out of her thoughts as Ron stirred. The look in his eyes mirrored the feelings Hermione felt. There was something else though. There was more pain and sorrow there than she had ever seen from one so close to her. She felt cold. Death had tried to take her, tried to get its grip on her very being, but she had resisted. She had seen the look of her mortal existence, and it pleased her to know she had beaten death for now. She pulled the covers more tightly over her. She felt safer now that she was awake, and away from the dreams which haunted her. * * * * Ron woke up; the pain from his arms was preferable to the pain in his heart. How do you tell somebody you know that they had died? How do you tell somebody you know that they had died a wasteful death? How can you help the person, that you think of as a brother, deal with something even you are struggling to come to terms with? That you do not want to come to terms with? For in doing so, it finalizes the death of somebody close to you? He knew Harry was okay. The bond he shared with Harry was strong, akin to blood brothers. No, this he had to do; he had to help his brother. He had to help him realise that the people around him were strong, and that they were stronger together, as a group. Ron felt ashamed; whilst Harry had been duelling, he had been running, and while Harry had been leading the Death Eaters away from them, he had been fighting the brain tentacles he had unwittingly summoned. Ron felt ashamed; he had let down his friends and his sister. Hermione was right, it had been a trap. Why hadn't he believed her? Was it just to win an argument? Was it just to prove her wrong? The pain flared in his arms again as a welcome reminder of his failure to his friends. * * * * Ginny sat on the bed, her ankle fully healed. Her memories, however, were another thing, as was the fear that was running through her. She had always wanted to be in the group. Well, now that she was in it, and had had first hand knowledge of their little adventures, she did not want to feel that scared again. The image of Harry standing in front of her and protecting her filled her with hope, although it was quickly quashed with the news of Sirius. He had died a meaningless and wasteful death. A stray tear fell down her cheek. She was not going to cry and show weakness, she was stronger than that. She had to be strong for the group; for Harry. At the thought of Harry all alone and in immeasurable pain, she wept. He had shown such strength. He always overcame his sense of fear in he face of adversary, and it was this that frightened her the most. How was he coping? Where was he? Why was he not with them? If he was not here to see her, then surely to see Ron and Hermione? This could be the final straw for Harry. It could be the event from which he might never return and he might draw into himself. The death of Sirius could be a death sentence for his heart. He could pull into himself and exclude all others. "I won't let him; it is my turn to save Harry." Ginny mumbled defiantly to herself, before falling into an uneasy sleep. * * * * When Harry woke up, it was twilight; the sun had given up its claim of the day. Harry shivered and pulled his robes over himself. Had he really slept all day? Why had nobody come for him? Harry could think of one reason, but was it the right reason? They blamed him for Sirius's death. They must have blamed him, for he was the reason that Sirius was dead. Because he had failed to master Occlumencey, he had led his friends down to the Department of Mysteries. He lead then to fight with Death Eaters. When was this going to end? Harry knew the answer. "To kill or be killed." Could he really kill the most evil wizard of our time? The answer eluded him, he could not think straight. Harry rose up from his crouched position, his legs screaming in protest. He felt dizzy, the lack of food was clouding his judgement. Harry looked to the sky, though tears were hindering his fight. He had to find it. It was here somewhere, in the black backdrop of night. The bright flickering stars taunted him and mocked his sullen mood. Harry looked up; clouds covered the area of sky he needed. He reached up, just to reach out for acknowledgment. For in doing so then all of this would not be in vain. He had to find it, to see it, just for the briefest of moments. It was all he had left. * * * * Ginny awoke with a start; she had a strange feeling of dread; something was not right. She could not find Harry although she had looked in all the places Ron had told her to look. She breathed in deeply and tried to still her worried mind. "How does Harry do this? Where are you Harry? Please speak to me." She had a vision of the stars under a black sky. She ran out of the dormitory and down the stairs in the direction of the tower. * * * * Harry was tired. He was weak. He needed to find it, to see it, and he could not rest until he did. Continuous cloud cover fought against him and mocked him for the failure that was his life. He was frustrated, his anger was brewing up within him, struggling to breach its confines. Harry climbed up on to the battlements, frantic with desire to reach out. He knew it was futile, the distance was too great even for magic. Fury erupted within his very soul, the battle for control was over. His anger had once again won over his self-control. He let out a throat-tearing cry. Never had such a sound been heard in the confines of the school. Such was the sound that even the animals wept for him. For his grief. * * * * Ginny ran as fast as she could, constantly tripping over her robes, her frantic speed causing her to crash into objects. She ploughed through regardless for she had heard a cry that held such sorrow and such grief that she did not care. She ignored the tears falling down her face. Harry was in trouble, he needed help. This was her chance to help him, to offer some payback. She ran to the top of the tower. The sight she saw would haunt her until the day she died. Harry was standing on top of the battlements, his arms stretched out to the black lifeless sky, with tears falling down his face and his eyes ablaze with anger. She grabbed hold of his robes and pulled him down. They fell down in a heap on the floor. "What are you doing, Ginny?" Harry looked into her eyes and found only compassion. His anger was being substituted for something else, a new feeling that was alien to him. What was it? Could he use it? Did he need it? "Where have you been Harry? We were so worried." Ginny asked, her voice full of concern. "I've been up here all day," Harry could hardly talk as his throat was sore. "What have you been doing Harry?" Her voice was quiet and gentle. "Looking for something, but I can't find it," said Harry bowing his head in defeat. "What are you looking for up here?" She placed her hand on Harry's arm. He looked up at her, and although his tears were clouding his vision he could make out that Ginny was crying as well. "A sign, a signal. I just don't know, I don't know anything anymore." Harry sighed and lowered his head further. Once more Ginny took his arm, and this time lifted his head too. "Let's look for your sign Harry." She had a fairly good idea what Harry was looking for, but the cloud cover would hinder them. She saw the look of total dejection in his eyes, and embraced him to her breast, stroking his hair and rocking him back and forth. Harry finally broke down, the tears falling freely. He had no desire to stop them, nor did he have the ability to. All he wanted was for the pain to subside. "I miss him so much. I'm so sorry I failed you Sirius." He said, his voice choked with tears. "What are you on about Harry?" Ginny asked politely. "It was a trap, Ginny, and I fell for it. I nearly got all of you killed and it's all my fault." Harry sobbed uncontrollably. She embraced him tighter, trying to take away his pain and suffering. * * * They did not know how long they stayed there, as they were oblivious to their surroundings. A light breeze blew around them, causing them both to shiver and bringing them back from their grief. Ginny looked up to the sky and smiled. "Harry look up, and tell me what you see." Harry wiped his eyes and looked up. "I see hope, Ginny, hope" Harry got up and pulled Ginny up with him. "Is that the sign you were looking for Harry?" she asked, looking up at the dark sky. "I don't know, Ginny. But it's better then nothing, so it will do for now." Harry smiled and turned to Ginny. "Let's go down. I don't know about you, but I'm hungry. Are you coming?" "Yes Harry, I would love to." She said, sounding much more at peace with herself. They both left the darkness of the night and made their way down to the kitchens. High above them in the blackness of space and time, a lone star stood out pulsing and shining. It stood for light, power and protection. Sirius the Dog Star. I would just like to thank my Beta Thekillerpie for his wonderful work, Tante for helping me when all seemed lost and Malfidus for just looking and helping out. Thank you.
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