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Author: Trystym Story: Harry Potter and the Singing Professor Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: WIP Reviews: 3 Words: 46,511
Harry and Ron followed Ginny and Hermione back to Flourish and Blotts. As expected, Molly was standing in front of the store, looking worried. She breathed an obvious sigh of relief when she saw the group. "Where have you been? I've been worried sick," she quickly asked Ginny. "I've been waiting here thinking that something had happened." "Mum, we did say two hours. It hasn't even been that long," chided Ron. "Honestly, you would think we got into trouble every time you let us out of your sight." Harry winced. While what Ron said wasn't exactly true, it did seem that they had an awful amount of trouble when unsupervised. Quick to keep Mrs. Weasley off the same line of thought, Harry said, "We stopped in and bought some new robes. Madam Malkin is having a big sale." Molly's gaze turned to Harry. "Oh, Harry dear, they're lovely. They do so match your eyes. Come here, let me see." She looked Harry up and down and gave him a tap on the shoulder to turn him around. Once her inspection was complete, she looked up, and her mouth fell open as she saw her son. "Ronald Weasley, what ARE you wearing?" Ron grinned and stepped where his mother could get a better view. "Like it?" He twirled around once for his mother. "Madam Malkin said it was one of a kind." Molly grimaced. "Well, it is certainly...bright. At least you bought it with your money. Maybe that will teach you to take care of your clothes. Honestly, burning a perfectly good robe." Harry tried to cover the grin that was spreading across his face. "Mrs. Weasley, Madame Malkin said to tell you that she had some special things laid aside, if you wanted to come see." Harry decided that this was close enough to the truth. "Well, books first, and then maybe we can go down there." Molly led the group into the bookstore. Inside, the store was as crammed with people as it always was when Harry was here. Students and parents formed a sea of humanity, and Harry began to feel a little claustrophobic. He hadn't been this close to this many people in nearly a year, and it made him nervous. Deep down in his mind, he couldn't help but feel that any second now, someone was going to attack him. Voldemort's premature exposure and the battle in the Ministry had lost him some of his inner circle, but Harry knew that there were still plenty of Death Eaters unknown and unsuspected. Harry was quickly separated from the rest of his group, and he went to find his books for the coming year. His decision to pursue a career as an Auror dictated most of the books that he would need. Advanced Potions was the first, and Harry cringed as he picked up the book. Two more years with Snape. At least now I know his deep, dark secret. Transfiguration was next, followed by Charms, and Care of Magical Creatures, his only elective course. Harry passed the Divination and History sections by, glad that he no longer had to deal with those classes. Two slim volumes were on his list for Defense Against the Dark Arts: Hexes: A How-to Guide and Curses, Foiled Again: A Guide for the Modern-Day Wizard. Harry flipped through the pages of these as he waited in line to pay. From the look of these books, Defense was going to be more like offense this year. While the books did have counter curses and ways to stop hexes, they also explained quite fully how to cast the spells themselves. While Harry had learned a few hexes while he was training during his fourth year, and researched a few more for his role in the DA, he saw that some of the ones in these books looked quite advanced. Not to mention dangerous. Harry had a sudden urge to try a few on Draco. Hmmm, this is an interesting one, ‘being a curse to make your target lose control of their bladder', that could be useful. Harry's musings were interrupted when Ron and Molly joined him. Ron was carrying a stack of books about the same size as Harry's. Molly had a stack of books that Harry recognized as Ginny's fifth year texts under her arm. Ginny and Hermione staggered up a moment later with two enormous stacks of books between them. Harry looked at the pile incredulously. "Ginny, why have you got so many books?" he asked. Ginny shrugged and tried to rebalance her pile. "They're not mine, they're Hermione's." The topmost book shifted, and Ginny reached out to try and catch it. Harry caught the book in midair, and laid it purposefully on top of the pile that Hermione was carrying. He turned and looked at Ron, "Well, now I know what we'll do for Quidditch training this year. We'll just take turns following Hermione to class." Ron laughed, "Hermione, these can't possibly all be for classes. You won't have time to sleep." "I am taking more classes than you two are," Hermione replied. "And some of them are for an independent study that I'm working on." Molly stepped in before the fighting could get any worse. "Why don't you all give me your books and I'll see that they get home. Go on to Fred and George's, and I'll meet you there in a few minutes." Molly took everyone's books, piled them all in a stack and levitated them onto the counter. Harry and Hermione handed her their money, and the group of four turned to leave. As they were walking away, Molly called out, "And no more fighting." *** The group walked up the street toward Fred and George's shop. Hanging proudly over the doorway was an obviously new sign that read "Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes: The One Stop For All Your (practical) Joking Needs". Harry pushed open the door and stepped inside. Harry glanced around the room and his first impression was that this didn't look like a store run by a couple of 18 year-old wizards. The store looked, well, professional. It also looked deserted. "Hullo, Fred? George?" Harry called. A moment later the twins stepped through the door behind the counter. They caught sight of their customers and huge grins spread across their faces. "Harry," George called out, "how lovely to see you." "How is our best silent partner?" asked Fred. "Wow, this place looks great," said Harry. "I didn't quite know what to expect, but this is great." "Well, nothing's too good for friends and family," smiled Fred. "Let's go back into the workshop and I'll show you some of our newest ideas. Then you can have a look at the books, and we've got a bag of money for you around here somewhere." "Fred, I told you. I don't need the money. I'd much rather see you put it back into the store," exclaimed Harry. "Well, if you insist. What about the rest of you? Anyone need a bag of money? Shame to let it go to waste? Maybe we could use it to buy little brother here some...new...robes...." George stopped as he got his first good look at Ron. "Dear brother, what ARE you wearing?" Ron stepped up and shook Fred and George's hands as he smiled widely at them. "Just got ‘em today. What do you think?" Fred reacted first, "Well, I think they look splendid. Who ever said that you can't wear yellow and orange together?" Ginny stepped up next and hugged her older brothers. When she finished with George, she said, "Hermione said that she needed some advice from you two." George looked at Hermione. "What can we do you for?" he asked. Hermione hesitated, "Well, it's kind of private, but I found this new book and...." George waved his hand toward the back room and said, "Shall we step back here and discuss it?" Hermione, Ginny and George walked to the back room and closed the door. Harry tried to listen for a moment, but all he could hear was Hermione going on breathlessly and George exclaiming, "brilliant." Ron had stepped away and was browsing the aisles, so Harry sat down on one of the stools in front of the counter. He debated telling Fred about the recording, but decided that he would keep it a secret for now. He felt that he could probably ask for a little general advice though. Fred took his time arranging his side of the counter. When Ron was no longer in earshot, he glanced at Harry. "I had better warn you about some of the things in your birthday present." Harry nodded, "I recognized everything but the ‘Love Bombs'. Do I want to know what they do?" Fred looked innocently at Harry, "Nothing too bad. They're a bit like Dung Bombs. You toss them, and it's an area effect. Rather than a cloud of stinking gas, though, it releases a vapor that causes anyone who gets a whiff to act on repressed emotions. It won't make you fall in love with someone, though we're working on that. If you've got any secret feelings for someone, they're coming out. It lasts about a day. We were thinking you might drop one on little brother there, kind of speed things up a bit. They're still experimental; we don't sell those to the public yet, so if you could take notes, it would be a help." Harry smiled, anything that would move Ron and Hermione along would probably be a blessing. Even if it was experimental and caused one or both of them to grow a second head or an extra hand. Harry decided that now would be the best time to ask for some advice. He had a plan, but he wasn't sure how best to accomplish it. If anyone would know, it was one of the twins. "Um, Fred, could I ask you something?" Harry asked. "Sure, what is it?" Fred replied. "Well, you know how Professor Flitwick teaches the suits of armor to sing carols every Christmas?" questioned Harry. "Sure, I remember one year where he didn't get finished and Peeves decided to fill in some of the gaps. Bloody good carols, if you ask me," Fred finally caught on, "or are you asking if I know how to teach the armor to sing?" "Well, both, I guess," said Harry. He began to wonder if this was such a good idea. He didn't really want to let Fred in on the prank; this was going to be something for Ron and him to do together, but it would be easier getting the spell from Fred than looking it up. Or worse, asking Hermione. "As a matter of fact, I do. We had a pretty good song about Umbridge written last year, but there just wasn't enough time. Sort of a shame, really." Fred pulled a well-worn book from under the counter. He flipped through the pages until he found what he was looking for. "Now, let's see.... Do you want it to sing in it's own voice, or in yours? Here, I'll tell you what, I'll just give them both to you." Harry looked closely at the book. It appeared to have been made of different types and sizes of parchment, and all hand written. The binding was inexpertly done, and there were little colored flags stuck to most of the pages. The whole thing had a very homemade quality about it. "What is that book?" he asked. Fred smiled, "This, Harry, is the result of a lifetime of diligent toil in the fine arts of joking. Mum figures we never really did anything while we were in school, but all those times that you didn't see us, we were probably locked in the library. With a bit of research and effort, we found practical applications for hundreds of spells and potions that would help us in our chosen career field. This book is the Holy Grail of the joking world. It's also one of our biggest selling services of late. Guy like you walks in, says he wants to do something special to his friend for his birthday. We do a bit of research, and he walks out a happy customer. Type of spell and complexity sets the price. It's a growing business. You've got to figure that the jokee is going to remember, and next he'll be wanting a bit of help." Fred leaned back in his chair and smiled. Harry was impressed. He had always wondered how Fred and George got the ideas for their pranks. It was obvious to Harry that there were hundreds of spells and recipes in the book. Harry took the sheet of parchment that Fred handed him and folded it up. Ron returned to the counter with an armload of stuff. He dumped it all on the counter and scowled at Fred, "It was hard deciding what to get, I didn't have enough money to get everything that I wanted. How about below cost for relatives?" Fred laughed. He got out of his chair and opened the door to the back room. "Oi, George, Ron wants to know if we'll sell to him at below cost?" George, Ginny and Hermione stepped out of the workshop. "Ron, you didn't believe that we were really going to charge you, did you?" George snickered. "We were just having you on, mate." Ron turned red and scowled at his brothers, then a smile broke across his face, and he headed back into the aisles. "Mind, try not to put us out of business," called Fred. Hermione nodded at George and said, "Thank you, George. I wasn't sure about how the metal would react; you saved me having to experiment until I found the right combination." "No problem, just remember, Fred and I get our pick from the first batch," said George. Harry followed the conversation without understanding a word of it. "What are you two talking about? Or is this that big secret that Hermione can obviously tell everyone but Harry?" Hermione looked slightly hurt, "Harry, it's a surprise. You'll see in a little while. Besides, Ron doesn't know, either." "Ron doesn't know what?" said Ron returning to the counter with another armload. George was quickest this time, "Most everything, it would seem." *** Molly apparated into the store a few minutes later. "I dropped your books back at the Burrow. Please make sure that you get them off the table when we get back. We're going to be crowded for dinner tonight, and I need all the room I can get." Fred and George stepped out from behind the counter and advanced on Molly. They simultaneously wrapped her in a hug. "Hi, Mum," they chorused. Molly pushed them back and studied them. "So, how are you two? Really, I wish you would both move back home. It looks like you aren't getting enough to eat, and living in a workshop. That's no way to behave." "Mum, we've been over this before. We're perfectly happy living here. It means that we aren't always under your feet, and we can work on new ideas whenever they strike us. Last I heard, you still didn't like explosions at four in the morning," Fred said. "And besides, we're highly eligible bachelors, and men about town. We can't bring girls back to our parents house," added George with a smile. "Well, the least you can do is come to dinner tonight. It's the last chance you'll have to see Ron and Ginny before Christmas." Molly hesitated and then continued, "and I'm not sure I want you messing about with any, any...scarlet woman that was willing to come back to this place. Proper young ladies should be saying goodnight and going back to their parents house, I should think." Fred and George burst out laughing. "Stop it, Mum, you're killing us...scarlet woman," said Fred and then broke into snickers again. George was the first to recover. "Really, Mum, we promise not to make you a grandmother quite yet. Dinner would be great, though. Say about nine?" Molly looked aghast at her son, "Nine? You boys don't really wait that late to eat do you? It's unhealthy. We will be eating at six. Just as soon as your father gets home from work. Or at least we will if I can get these four home so that I can start dinner." Ron put his loot into a sack and said, "Thanks, guys. Say, if you show up early, bring your brooms. We can go out to the field and fly a bit before Dad gets home. I need to get my edge back before practice starts at school. Wouldn't want the team to see me off form." George looked puzzled. He said, "Ron, correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't the entire team standing in this shop right now?" Ron suddenly looked dismayed, but then his face brightened. "No, as a matter of fact it's not. There's still Kirke and Sloper." George raised his eyebrows and turned to Fred, "Who?" he said. "Those two idiots that they replaced us with," replied Fred. "Oh, yeah, right, them. Maybe we ought to start working on some kind of helmet spell to protect Harry," said George. Ron retorted indignantly, "They're not that bad." Ginny's eyes flew wide at Ron's statement. "What do you mean, ‘they're not that bad?' Do you remember the Bludger that nearly knocked me off my broom during the Hufflepuff game? For that matter, do you remember the one that got you at practice? Both of which they hit, as I recall." Ron looked chagrined, "Well, okay, maybe they are that bad, but they're still on the team. Unless someone convinces them to quit. So are you going to come play or not?" Fred shook his head and said, "Sorry little brother, it's going to be close as is. We've got to close up the shop. Besides, it looked like rain last time I checked." Ron's shoulders slumped. "Okay, well, maybe a game of chess then." He looked expectantly at Harry. Molly's voice cut through the conversation. "Time to go you four. Fred, George, be there as soon as you can please. I don't want to have to wait dinner on the two of you." With that, Molly herded the four teens out the door of the shop and back to the fireplace at The Leaky Cauldron. *** Harry followed Ginny out of the kitchen fire at the Burrow. He crossed the room and looked out the window over the sink. Like Fred said, it looked like it was going to rain. While the sky had been gray all afternoon, it looked positively leaden now. Harry went back to the kitchen table and picked up his stack of schoolbooks. He followed Ron up the stairs and quickly deposited the books into his trunk. Ron tossed his books on the bed and turned to Harry. "So, how about a game of chess?" Harry shrugged, "I suppose. I'll lose for sure, though. My pieces have been stuck in the bottom of my trunk since we left school." He dug through his trunk until his hands found the velvet bag of chess pieces, which he set on the corner of the bed. A knock at the door interrupted Harry as he was convincing his knights not to defect to Ron's side of the board. Ginny poked her head in the door and said, "Harry, can I see you out here for a minute?" Harry stood up. "Okay," he said to Ginny. "Ron, try to get the little buggers back where they belong, please." He stepped out into the cramped hallway and asked, "What's up?" Ginny twisted the edge of a sleeve nervously in her hand, "Well, I was wondering if you would...if I could...can I borrow your broomstick for a little while? There's still a little time before it starts to rain, and I promise that I'll take really good care of it, and I'll even clean it up and polish it after." Ginny finally stopped to take a breath. Harry hesitated for only a second. His Firebolt was his favorite possession, having been a gift from Sirius, but if there was anyone that he could trust with his broom, it was Ginny. "Sure, just watch out for the top of the handle; it gets kind of slippery when it gets wet. It's by the kitchen door, with Ron's." Ginny smiled, and her eyes flashed with excitement. "Thanks, Harry," she said and gave him a little hug before sprinting down the stairs. Harry stood dazed in the hallway, reliving the softness of her body pressed to his. He shook his head after a moment and went back into Ron's room. "What was that about?" Ron asked. He looked up at Harry and added, "I got them back where they belong; sometimes you just have to talk nicely to them." "Hmm? Oh, thanks. I don't have anyone to play with at home, and what with everything else, I didn't have time to see to them." Harry said distractedly. "So, are you going to tell me what Ginny wanted, or not?" replied Ron. "She just wanted to ask if she could borrow something. So, my move?" Suddenly Harry didn't want to admit that he had loaned his broom to Ginny. Harry absentmindedly moved a pawn forward. Through Ron's open window, he could hear Ginny and Hermione talking as they left the house. He strained to hear what was being said, but all he could make out was Hermione saying, "...if this doesn't get his attention, then I'll just have to...." Ron forced his pawns to beat up on one of Harry's unsuspecting bishops, and said, "Harry, you're not even trying. No wonder your pieces don't trust you." Ron's words broke Harry's reverie, and as he glanced down at the board, he realized that Ron had decimated his army without any real effort. Harry tried to get his mind back on the game, but each time he would drift back to wondering what Hermione was talking about. It was obvious to Harry that it had to be Ron's attention that she was trying to get. He just hoped that whatever she was planning wouldn't be too dangerous.
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