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Author: legobean Story: Harry Potter and the Toll of Destiny Rating: Mature Status: WIP Reviews: 21 Words: 169,577
Disclaimer: So let me tell you all a little story. I mean, besides the one I’m about to tell you. The other day I bought myself a brand new Italian sports car. It was completely tricked out and really sweet. Well a few days later the repo-man shows up and starts towing away my car. I ran out and shouted, “Hey that’s my car, what are you doing?” The man responded, “Mister, you can’t afford this car; your financer is taking it back.” “You don’t understand,” I told him. “I’m writing this great Harry Potter story. I’m going to be rich!” He looked at me like I was crazy, and said, “Dude, you don’t own Harry Potter. It’s the property of JK Rowling, and Time Warner; you can’t profit from that story.” He gave me a disgusted look. “You are such an idiot.” Man, sometimes the truth hurts. Here we go, on with the real story. Harry lit the wood that Dobby had diligently stacked in the fireplace and went into the kitchen to fetch Hermione some tea. He was cold too, but it didn’t seem to be bothering him. He had enjoyed the fresh air on the way back and hadn’t noticed the temperature at all while he was storming out. When the water was warm, he grabbed the tea tray and headed back out to the sitting room. Hermione thanked him profusely as she huddled by the fire. Harry waited until she was warmed up and then said, “Well? Dudley?” “Well, shortly after you disappeared there was a scandalous incident on Privet Drive. Dudley, who was still living at home, raped a girl in the park not too far from your house. He beat her up badly before he was finished. She went to the police, and at first it looked like Dudley would get off. His friends all swore he was at the movies with them when it happened, but Mrs Figg had seen him in the park just a few minutes before it happened and cited Dudley’s aversion towards the truth and his treatment of you as an example to his character. They attempted to find you to testify against Dudley, but of course they couldn’t. It got pretty ugly, but the string of people Dudley has beaten up over the years volunteered to testify, and he ended up getting eight years. He should be getting out before too long,” Hermione trailed off as she finished her story. Harry sat, shocked. Little Diddykins in prison? What must his aunt and uncle think? Probably that Harry was somehow responsible. “What happened to Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon?” Harry asked curiously, but he was unsure if he really wanted to know the answer. “Well they were terribly embarrassed by the whole incident. After telling everyone you were a criminal, and then having Dudley in the papers as an actual criminal they had a hard time dealing with their neighbors. I think the gossip got to them, and they eventually ended up moving to Guildford or something, I’m not really sure where. It didn’t seem important really; we didn’t expect you’d want to track them down.” After a few minutes she said, “Why don’t we get this cleaned up? Ron should be here soon.” “I want to know what happened,” Harry answered. “Harry, you’ve had a very tough couple of days. I thought we might call it a weekend. Let you get some rest. Ron might enjoy spending the weekend with you, and I can go home and visit the kids.” Harry harrumphed. “I need to know what happened with Kyla. I cared about her; I need to know if something happened between us—if I hurt her.” Harry trailed off. “It can’t wait until next week, Hermione. I need to know now.” She sighed. “Let me leave a note for Ron.” She scribbled a note on a bit of parchment and left it where Ron would find it and called Dobby and let him know they would be late for dinner. Then they bent over the Pensieve and landed just behind Harry, who was still making his way to the grocer. As soon as Harry walked into the door of the grocer he was attacked by a flying ball of almost-blonde hair. Kyla hugged him tightly to her. “Oh, Harry, I was so worried. Please don’t do that to me again,” she cooed. “I’m fine; those three won’t be bothering you anymore.” Harry attempted to reassure her. This was more physical contact than the Harry in the memory had experienced with anyone in many years. He was showing the effects as his face turned a shade of scarlet rarely seen, even on Harry Potter. “Oh, I’m so relieved you’re fine. Don’t you dare worry me like that again.” Her chest was heaving as she spoke; she had obviously gotten herself quite worked up while waiting for Harry. He attempted to comfort her as much as possible. Harry patted her gently on the back, and said, “There, there, Kyla, it’s okay. I was never in any real danger.” His confidence only served to incense her more. “Harry, those were three grown men against one; they could have killed you!” How could he explain to her that, on their best day, those three couldn’t make the list of the top one hundred dangerous thugs who wanted to harm him? He thought for a second and then decided on, “Well, it was a harrowing escape, but thankfully I am much cleverer than they are.” He pulled back from her and gave her a bit of a grin. She frowned at him. She pulled away from him entirely, obviously miffed at his cavalier attitude towards his own safety. A shopping trolley impacted with Harry’s stomach, and Kyla suggested he make himself useful before she hurt him herself. Harry had never pushed a grocery trolley before and found the experience to be more difficult than he expected. The main problem seemed to be with the right front wheel. He had crashed into several islands in the shop, eventually even toppling part of a stacked display of canned beans. Each time he crashed the trolley Kyla shot him a disgruntled look, and she was unusually cool towards him during the entire ordeal. Finally, having enough of the dirty looks from both Kyla and other shoppers he performed a Reparo charm on the broken wheel. Kyla didn’t noticed as she was pointedly ignoring him while she selected between three different brands of tomato sauce. After they paid at the till and carried the bags back to the square where they were to meet Leith, Harry made a quick decision and asked where he could find the bank. “It’s at the other end of the merchant district,” Kyla answered. “I need to jog down there for just a bit; can you manage here for a few minutes?” Harry asked. “You’re leaving me alone?” she asked, suddenly sounding quite frightened. “No, of course not. We’ll wait for your father.” He spotted an ice cream vendor and said, “Can I buy you an ice cream while we wait?” She brightened considerably. “Oh, that would be lovely.” “What can I get you?” Harry asked. “I want to go and choose; we can leave these here for a moment,” Kyla answered. They strolled across the large town square and each picked out an ice cream, slowly wandering back to their pile of grocery bags. Kyla was brushing her hand up against Harry’s as they walked. Hermione suddenly interjected. “There, right there, she’s brushing her hand against yours to entice you to grab her hand.” Present day Harry watched as she did it once again. “Why doesn’t she just grab my hand if she wants to hold hands?” “Because she assumes you know why she’s doing it! She’s being playful!” Hermione blustered disgustedly. Harry winced as in the memory he put more distance between himself and Kyla so they wouldn’t bump into each other anymore. In his mind, he had been crowding her. As they sat down near their pile of groceries, an uncomfortable silence filled the air until Leith showed up. Harry pulled Leith to the side and said, “I need to run a couple more errands. Do you mind if I meet you back at the house?” “How are you going ter get back ter the farm, lad?” Leith asked with concern plainly evident on his face. “I’ll either catch a ride, or I’ll walk. Don’t worry about me. I’ll be back before dinner,” Harry assured him. “All righ’. Well, ring us up if you need a ride back ter the house. Don’t spend all night walking. You hear me, Harry?” “Yes, sir.” Kyla had finished loading the groceries into the back of the pickup and came out and smiled at her father while still working on her ice cream. “In you go, Kyla. Let’s be off.” He moved to get in the cab of the pickup, but when Harry didn’t follow, Kyla prodded him. “Come on then, Harry, in you go.” “I’ll see you back at the farm,” Harry said. “You’re not coming with us?” she asked calmly but with a deep crease in her brow. “No, I have a couple of things I need to take care of before I head back.” “Why didn’t you say anything?” She looked at him questioningly. “Kyla, get a move on,” Leith called. “I’ll see you later,” Harry said, nodding to indicate that she should go. “Okay, take care of yourself, please.” She gave him a bit of the pleading eyes she had used on her father earlier. She stuck out her lower lip and turned to give him a pouty expression before she pulled herself into the cab. “Well at least we don’t have to endure another ride in there,” present day Harry sighed, sounding relieved. Hermione just giggled. The memory of Harry waved to the Brysons and took off down the street as they drove away. Harry walked to the bank and asked to see the bank manager. He talked to the manager a few minutes, explaining that he didn’t have a photo I.D. but he could give any manner of information to prove who he was and he needed to make a withdrawal from his account at another bank. He realized that it might take a few days to confirm his identity, but that was okay. The bank manager asked him all sorts of questions and took a copy of his signature. Harry handed over an old bank card, and agreed to come back in a couple days to complete the transfer. Harry then left the bank and spent some time wandering around the village. He had several hours before he could show up at the farm otherwise they would find it odd that he had walked there so quickly. He walked down to the merchant street and went into a few of the shops and picked out a couple of items. He purchased a rucksack in one of the shops to carry the items in. Then, after completing his shopping, Harry walked into a secluded alley, and Hermione quickly forwarded the memory a bit to prevent witnessing his Apparation. When she stopped they found Harry walking up the road. It appeared he had been walking for some time. The farm was still quite some distance away so they sped forward again to find Harry sitting at the dinner table. Nothing much of interest happened until after Kyla and her parents went to bed. Harry waited for almost an hour sitting on his cot, but Kyla did not come out of her room. It was the first time in all the days they had witnessed at the Brysons that she hadn’t made a late night appearance. Tentatively, Harry knocked softly on Kyla’s door. They heard a muffled, “Come in.” Harry opened the door and peered inside. “What is it, Harry?” she asked. “I missed you; I thought we might play cards tonight,” Harry said. She was sitting up in bed, reading by her bedside lamp. “Sorry, Harry. I don’t feel much like playing games tonight.” She refused to meet his eyes. “Oh, okay, I’m sorry I disturbed you. Do you mind if I talk to you a minute before I go?” “What is it, Harry?” she asked impatiently. “I wanted to say I’m sorry about this afternoon. I didn’t mean to scare you, and I didn’t mean to make light of the fact that you were upset,” Harry replied sincerely. “You’re forgiven, Harry,” she said, finally meeting his eyes. “Where did you run off to after we left?” she continued, sounding like she wasn’t really sure she wanted to know the answer. “I told you I needed to go to the bank, but I didn’t want to leave you by yourself.” “We would have waited for you, if you had just told us that’s what you needed to do,” she muttered looking hurt. “I know, but the stuff at the bank took some time, and I didn’t want the groceries to spoil, and I had another errand I needed to run. I needed to buy something for a friend to help me apologize. I’m not very good at having friends, and you’re the first one I’ve had in a while. I don’t want to lose your friendship. I got you something that I hope shows how much your kindness has meant to me.” He pulled out a small package and set it on her bed. “You’re right, Harry. You’re not very good at this friendship thing if you think buying me a gift will help keep me as a friend,” she said, looking a little bit hurt. Then she explained, “Harry, to a friend the words are enough. I don’t need this, whatever it is, to keep being your friend. You mean a lot to me, too. I wouldn’t throw what we have between us away just because I got a little miffed at you. You keep this for some other time, like my birthday. It’s just a couple months away.” She blushed slightly as she told him. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it that way; I just felt bad. I wanted to do something to cheer you up. Please, I bought it for you.” Harry pleaded with his eyes. “It wouldn’t be right, Harry. I can’t be bought, at least not by you.” Kyla patted him gently on the hand. “All right. I guess can we play cards another night then?” Harry asked. “Of course!” She smiled. “We can play now if you want.” “I think I better get out of here before your father catches me in here and skins me alive,” Harry responded with a smirk. “Goodnight, Kyla.” “Goodnight, Harry,” she returned. As Harry walked back to his cot, he swore he detected the slightest of movement from the master bedroom door. He winced a bit but turned down the light, and lay down for bed. *** Harry and Hermione went quickly through the next couple of days until something caught Hermione’s eye on Tuesday afternoon. Leith and Harry were having a very intense conversation after they finished digging up and repairing a leaky irrigation valve. Hermione backed it up a bit, and they listened as Leith sat down across from Harry on a bale of straw. “Harry, I’d like ter ask you something, and I would appreciate a straight answer.” “Yes, sir, of course.” Harry nodded. “What are your intentions towards my daughter?” Leith asked. “Sir?” Harry replied, gobsmacked. Fully closing his mouth took several attempts, and he finally managed it on the fourth one. “Look, Harry, I might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but it’s clear my daughter fancies you. I like you me self, but I need to know what your intentions are. Are you going to court her seriously, or are you just playing with her?” “Sir, I—” Harry started, but he seemed to have nowhere to take the thought. “To be perfectly honest, I haven’t thought about it that much. We’re friends; I enjoy her company. I like her, but there’s nothing going on between us.” “You’re sure about that, are ya? Because I think if Kyla heard you say that she’d be right angry. I get the impression she thinks there’s more between you than just friendship,” Leith said seriously. “I’m sorry, sir, but I can assure you, we haven’t done anything er...romantic,” Harry replied honestly. “All righ’, Harry, I trust you, or I wouldn’t have let you stay in me home this long. But there are a few things I’d like to get straight with you.” Harry nodded uncomfortably. “Don’t take this the wrong way, Harry, but here it is. Yer a bit of a mystery. You showed up here out of the blue, no family, no money, not enough clothing to survive outdoors for a night. It’s pretty obvious you’ve been wandering a while. You say you were a soldier, and I’ll buy that. Heard you took it to Angus and his mates on Saturday.” Harry studied his hands in his lap, but said nothing. “It’s a small town, Harry, and it was nothing less than they deserved. Jack used to take it to them a bit when he was here. Kyla has mostly avoided town since he’s been gone. Anyway, Harry, it seems clear you have some issues ter take care of in your own life and mind, before you get too serious with anyone. And I think ya can. You’re a good lad, and I don’t know what’s happened ter you to set you a drift, but you’ll have to face your demons eventually. You can’t keep running forever.” Hermione nudged Harry in the ribs and whispered, “Listen to him; he’s very wise.” “That said, me daughter means more ter me than anything else in this world. I don’t want you hurting her, or disrespecting her. She needs to find a good man and start a life for herself, but I’m afraid the choices here aren’t to her liking. I don’t want to make the choice for her, but she can’t stay here hidden until she’s too old to find a husband; that much is clear.” He sighed. “What I’m trying to say, Harry, is that if you want to court my daughter, that’s between you and her. But I don’t want you two sneakin’ around about it. I want you to get your house in order, get a steady job and such. Get your head on straight, and be good ter her, that’s all I ask.” “That all sounds fair.” Harry nodded. “I talked to me friend Tormund. He works in the lumber yard in town. You could probably find some work there if yer interested. I told him what a hard worker you are, and that yer bit on the skinny side, but seem strong enough. It’s hard work, Harry, but it pays fine, and it’s honest work. I can only keep you on a few more days. Winter’s comin’, and like it or not, I just don’t have enough work to keep you on. I meant what I said; you’re welcome to stay here for a while if you can find work in the village. Tabitha loves having you here, and I suspect you know how Kyla feels. I’ll even let you borrow the truck to get ter town and back fer a while, as long as ye pay for the petrol.” “That’s very generous of you, sir,” Harry said, struggling with his composure. “All I ask is that while you’re staying under my roof, no funny business with Kyla. All righ’ then?” Leith asked. “You have my word, sir.” “Well, that’s good enough for me. Let’s go see if we can get the sheep into the East pasture before dinner then.” *** The next night after dinner, Kyla walked up behind Harry and asked, “Would you like to take a walk with me, Harry?” Harry started a bit, then answered noncommittally, “Uh, sure.” Harry put on his extra jumper, and since it wasn’t going to be light much longer, Kyla grabbed an electric torch and assured her parents they would be back before too long. They walked for about twenty minutes into the lowest pasture. They climbed over the sheep fence and kept walking until they came to a small stream surround by several large trees, most of which had dropped their leaves on the ground for autumn. Kyla sat on an old stump, and Harry sat on rock, and they watched twilight capture the day. Kyla was silent for a long time, before she finally asked, “Have you ever had a girlfriend, Harry?” He looked at her for a moment before he answered, “Yes.” “Were you in love with her?” “Very.” Kyla looked a bit melancholy. “What happened? Why didn’t it work out?” Harry squirmed and didn’t answer. “Please, Harry. It’s important.” “I had to leave. In the war that I was part of, I was fighting against the worst sorts of people. They killed most of my family. If they knew how I felt about her, it would have put her in danger. I couldn’t bear the thought of her being hurt because of me. I had things I had to do, and having a relationship didn’t work very well with those responsibilities.” “Do you still love her?” Harry thought for a long moment. “Yes, I still love her.” Both Kyla and Hermione sniffled a bit. Kyla sat in silence for a moment, seeming to try to work out what to say next. “Does she know?” “I don’t know; I doubt it,” Harry answered with a hitch in his voice. “Why aren’t you with her, Harry? The war is over for you,” she asked after visibly steeling her courage. Harry sighed. Here it was. He didn’t speak for a very long time, trying to find a delicate way to phrase his behavior. Finally, after Kyla waited several minutes for a response, Harry choked out, “During the war, I had to change, to become someone I didn’t want to be. I had to do things I didn’t want to do. I did things—horrible things,” he shuddered visibly, “that I don’t think that she could ever forgive me for.” Kyla looked at him; he was shaking visibly. “Things that she can’t forgive you for? Or things you can’t forgive yourself for?” she asked sagely. Harry broke down, and tears rolled down his cheeks in the low light. He wept silently for a long time before Kyla came and rubbed his back and stroked his hair. Finally she said, “Harry, I know nothing of war, but I know without good people who are willing to fight against evil, the world would be horrible place. It’s too bad that we have to send our best men out to do things they can’t bear to do, just to stop evil people from doing worse.” Harry reached around and hugged her tightly, and she responded by wrapping her arms around him. “Harry, whatever you did, you did work to bring peace to the world. I don’t know what it is, and you can tell me or not, but I don’t judge you for it. I’ve felt your heart; there’s no darkness there.” Harry sniffled against her, his head tightly pressed against her stomach. When the tears stopped, he released her, and said, “That means more than you can know.” “You’re a good person, Harry. Whatever it is that’s driving you mad, it’s over. It’s not a part of you anymore; you need to let it go.” The melancholy of the moment over, they stayed there, Kyla standing next to him, her hand rubbing his neck. “Do you think you could ever love someone else the way you love her?” “What?” Harry said, shaken out of his reverie. “Do you think you could ever love another woman the way that you love her?” Kyla asked again. “I don’t know,” Harry said. He looked up at her intently, his eyes boring into her. “I’ve only loved a handful of people in my whole life, and a lot of them are dead. Killed by the mad man I was destined to fight, or his agents. He killed my parents before I really had a chance to know them well, my godfather, and his best friend, who was an incredible friend of mine, my mentor, and numerous other people who tried to protect me. I haven’t had a lot of experience with love. I’ve loved maybe a dozen people my whole life.” “Oh, Harry, that’s horrible.” She resumed stroking his hair. “I never realized how soft your hair is. The way it sticks up, I thought it would be a little coarser,” she mused. After a minute or so, she said, “You know a dozen people is actually quite a lot of experience with love. I’ve only really loved six people, so you’re way ahead of me.” “How can that be?” Harry asked, surprised. “Well, my parents, of course, my brother, and three grandparents. I have a lot of cousins that I like a lot, but I wouldn’t say that I love them,” she said sedately. “How is that possible? You’re so giving, and warm. How do you not have any friends that you love?” he insisted. “Well, I’ve never had a best friend, really. My brother and I were close. But there were no girls in school my age, and you’ve seen the boys who were my age. The community is dying, Harry. The young people all move away; people just don’t want to live here anymore,” she answered resignedly. “What about you? Do you want to stay?” Harry asked. “No, I want to go to school, or find a job in the city, but I’m trapped here,” she answered sadly. “Why are you trapped?” Harry asked, confusion written across his face in the dim light. “My parents can’t afford for me to go to school, and they don’t want me to just move to the city and try and find a job the way my brother did. They want me to get married and start a family. That’s probably the only way they’ll let me go.” Her eyes had glossed over, and she suddenly seemed very far away. “How do they expect you to find someone to marry if you spend all your time here?” Harry was confused. “That just doesn’t make sense.” “There have been offers,” she answered robotically. “Thankfully Father has not yet been willing to force me into marriage.” Harry was horrified. “Force you?” “Yes, arranged marriages aren’t completely uncommon in this part of the country. But Father and Mum loved each other before they got married, so they have tried to give me that experience. It’s just tough when you’re stuck on a rural farm.” She smiled slightly at Harry. “But Father won’t wait forever. Mr Chalmers has offered to marry me a couple of times; it won’t be long before they take someone up on an offer.” Harry was gobsmacked. “No.” He shook his head intently. “I know your father; he couldn’t do that.” “I’m twenty-two, Harry; that’s almost an old maid out here. My father doesn’t want me to end up spending my life alone with no way to support myself.” She gave a huge shuddering sigh. They sat in silence, each having shared some of their demons. Harry couldn’t really see her well in the weak moonlight. They had been talking longer than he intended for them to be out here. Finally, Harry said, “We should get back; your parents will be worried.” “Not yet,” Kyla said firmly. “Kyla, they’ll think I kidnapped you,” Harry teased. “They can think whatever they want. I’m not ready to go back yet.” Kyla had moved against Harry once again. She was pressed against him, but her hands were staying to themselves. “Kiss me, Harry.” “Kyla I...I....” He faltered. “Just kiss me; I need to know how you feel, and since you won’t tell me, I need to feel it. Please, Harry, don’t make me beg,” she said, firmly grabbing his shoulder and attempting to pull him to his feet. “I promised your father I wouldn’t. I gave him my word,” Harry insisted, but he allowed her to pull him up. “You promised? Nonsense. It’s just a little kissing. I’ve never had a real kiss, Harry. Please?” Kyla whimpered, openly pleading with him. The moon came from out behind the clouds, and Harry could see her beautiful eyes just inches from his face, her expression pained but hopeful. Her hair shone silver in the moonlight, and her cheeks were flushed from the cold and from crying. She was so beautiful. Harry wondered for a moment if he could love her; he bent down and kissed her gently. The minute his lips touched hers, he felt Kyla come alive; instinctively her tongue brushed his lips, and she put her hand against the back of his head, holding him to her. Harry’s lips relented, and he opened his mouth slightly; her tongue found his and teased it gently inviting it to chase hers, and it retreated into her mouth. Harry wrapped his arms around her, and his tongue danced with hers. He kissed her hungrily, both of them losing themselves in the feeling. Her hands started to explore Harry’s body, and he finally broke the kiss. He held her as they stood panting gently in the moonlight. Harry’s mind wasn’t working correctly, but finally he managed to get out, “We need to get back.” “I don’t ever want to go back,” she murmured, snuggling into his arms and lifting her face to his, trying to tempt him into another kiss. “Kyla, we can’t do this. I spoke with your father yesterday, and I gave him my word that I wouldn’t do this. I respect your father, and I don’t want to break my word. We’ve already done more than we should, and it’s not right. I don’t know how I feel.” Harry’s voice was filled with regret. “It’s okay, Harry.” She grinned at him. “But you can’t use my father as an excuse forever. I know what I felt when you kissed me.” She sighed contentedly. Harry turned away from her, a pained expression on his face, but in the darkness Kyla couldn’t see. They started walking back to the cottage. This time Kyla reached down and snatched Harry’s hand for herself. Harry didn’t pull away from her, and she interlaced her fingers with his. Hermione put her arm around present day Harry and squeezed him as they walked. He had the same troubled expression on his face that the Harry from the memory had. “Good job, Harry,” she declared. “What! I snogged her; how could I do that?” Harry shook his head. “I wouldn’t call it a snog, but you kissed her, and that was great!” Hermione cheered. “But I don’t love her!” Harry exclaimed. “Well, it was just a kiss,” Hermione said practically. “And, maybe you do love her.” “No, I don’t, and neither does he,” Harry said guiltily, pointing to the memory of himself. “He likes her, he wants to help her family, but he doesn’t love her.” “How can you be so sure?” Hermione asked, her face losing its happiness. “I’ve only ever felt that way about one person. I don’t think that’s changed. You heard me talking back there. I’m still in love with Ginny. She fills my heart so completely, there isn’t room for Kyla,” Harry answered resolutely. “Well, that’s good, too. You know how you feel about Ginny then.” Hermione was obviously trying to keep the moment positive. “I don’t think you understand, Hermione. She’s appealed to my saving people thing. You’re the one that named it, you should know. I like her well enough to try and save her from a life of being married to someone she doesn’t want to marry.” Harry was gesturing wildly with his hands, imploring Hermione to understand the problem. “Harry, you wouldn’t do tha—” She couldn’t even finish her thought. Of course Harry would. Making a short-sighted decision to try and save someone he cared about is exactly what Harry would do. He saw the wheels spinning behind her eyes. Suddenly, Hermione had to know too. “Harry, what did you do? When the Harry from the memory and Kyla walked back through the door, Mr and Mrs Bryson gave them a knowing look but said nothing. Kyla’s beaming face was enough to know exactly what they had been up to. Harry however looked worried, guilty, and a little bit sick. When Tabitha headed to bed, she reached over and felt Harry’s forehead. “Are you okay, dear? You look a bit peaky.” “I’m fine,” Harry assured her. Harry got ready for bed, but as he was getting ready to settle down in his cot, Kyla popped out of her room and sat on one end of it. “What’s wrong, Harry?” “Nothing, I’m fine,” he lied. “Harry, you didn’t do anything wrong. I asked you to kiss me. It was my choice, and I know you enjoyed it. I could tell.” “SHHHHH!” Harry shushed her. “Your parents could hear you!” he whispered furiously. “Good, then they’d know, and we wouldn’t have to hide.” She smirked impertinently. “Kyla, what do you think happened out there tonight?” Harry asked quietly. “Um, you kissed me, and I felt something,” she answered, blushing. Harry smiled at Kyla. “I felt something, too, but I don’t think we’re in the same place. Don’t get me wrong, I like you a great deal, but my head isn’t right. I can’t...” he trailed off. “Don’t worry, Harry; I’m just happy is all. I’ve been waiting to meet someone like you my whole life. I won’t rush you; I’m just happy. Now give me a kiss goodnight.” Harry looked at her with troubled eyes. He reached around her and hugged her. She tilted her head up to kiss him, but he rested his forehead on hers and whispered, “Goodnight, Kyla.” “That’s all I get?” She stuck out her lip in a mock pout. “I’m afraid so.” She gave Harry a hangdog look but then wiggled her hips as she went back to her room. Harry sighed and collapsed on his bed. *** Hermione and Harry quickly went through the next two days in the Pensieve. Other than Harry being slightly distant, nothing all that interesting happened, except that Harry made a secret trip to the bank quickly one afternoon while he was supposed to be stacking hay. He instead waited until he was alone and levitated it where he wanted it and took a bit of time off. On Friday, after dinner, Leith announced they had another good bit of vegetables and would be headed into town the next morning. Kyla asked if she could come. After Leith agreed, Harry announced that he wanted to stay and work on the fence for the north pasture. Leith suggested that it might be a good opportunity to do some job hunting, and Harry relented. As soon as Kyla could get him far enough away from her parents, she asked, “Why don’t you want to go to town with me?” He smiled at her. “It’s nothing to do with you. I just wasn’t really wanting to go back so soon, but your father’s right. It would be a good chance to look for a job.” She smiled back at him. “I’ll help.” “Thanks, that would be brilliant.” He gave her a reassuring nudge with his shoulder. She leaned in a little closer and said, “We’re going out to look at the stars tonight after they go to bed, so keep your day clothes on.” Harry nodded his understanding and sat down to read a novel the Brysons had lent him. It had something to do with pirates. *** After the elder Brysons had gone to bed, Kyla came back out and once again loaned him her purple jacket. After he put it, she handed him two old blankets and grabbed a torch. She looked at him standing there and giggled. “We really do have to get you a proper jacket. You can’t keep wearing my old one.” Harry blushed furiously, finally cottoning on to why it fit him so oddly. “Not that you don’t look absolutely adorable in it.” The fire in Harry’s face reached five alarms. “Well, come along then. I don’t think we’ll need to use the torch; we should be able to see by the light of your face.” She gave him a cheeky grin and headed out the door. The second they were outside the cottage she grabbed Harry’s hand and held it firmly in hers. When they reached the top of the hill she laid the blanket out on the ground, then made rather a production of getting Harry situated properly. She pulled the second blanket over the top of them, and finally wormed her way into the crook of Harry’s arm. When she finally felt they were settled properly, she looked up at the sky, and declared, “Hmmmpf, it’s a bit cloudy for star gazing. Whatever shall we do to entertain ourselves?” “You’re devious,” Harry told her. “Why, whatever do you mean, Mr Potter?” She rapidly fluttered her eyelashes on his cheek. “You think you can just drag me out here and have your way with me, don’t you?” Harry asked in mock outrage. “I would never presume to do such a thing,” she said in an astonished voice, rubbing her nose on his cheek and ear and breathing heavily on his neck. Harry shuddered. Never mind that he hadn’t held a girl in his arms in about eight years, he had never had anyone use feminine wiles against him this way before. He and Ginny had barely progressed to long stretches of kissing before he had broken it off. It was practically more than his mind could process. Kyla, obviously sensing a break down in Harry’s will, gave a grin and moved in for the kill. After a few minutes of teasing his ear, she pressed her advantage and rose up and covered his mouth with hers. Harry responded immediately, and they explored each other for a time until the lack of oxygen forced them to slow down. When Harry’s brain resurfaced, he realized that Kyla’s hand had managed to penetrate his many layers and was currently running along the bare skin of his chest. “Kyla, stop,” he finally managed as he tried to pull away from her. “Harry, I think you’ve got this all backwards. You’re supposed to be putting your hand up my shirt, and I’m supposed to be telling you to stop,” she purred, continuing to rub the skin under his shirt with her fingernails. “Kyla, please, just stop,” he pleaded, forcefully extracting her hand. “Your father made me promise that I wouldn’t do this while I was staying under his roof,” Harry explained. “Oh, honestly, Harry. Do you see him out here? Are you going to run and tell him? Because I’m not going to. We’re both adults, Harry; we can do what we want.” “Dishonor me? Harry, exactly what do you think we’re doing here? I can’t believe you think I’d let you do that with me so soon. If you get your hands too far along I’ll be sure to let you know, all right? But it’s my body, and I’ll thank you to leave my father out of this discussion.” She lay back down next to him, obviously angry that he had yet again ruined their moment. They lay there for a while, not talking, her head just resting on his shoulder. Finally Harry muttered, “I’m sorry, Kyla. It’s just that you’ve only known me a few weeks. Your feelings for me seem very advanced; I’m having a difficult time reconciling all this.” “Harry, I’ve waited to meet you my whole life. I didn’t know it was you of course. It was just some idea of this dark-haired stranger that would come and rescue me from my life on this farm. Then a couple of weeks ago, that person appeared at dinner. You were generous, humble, kind and noble. You have qualities I can’t even describe. When you’re angry or passionate I can feel it, Harry. It’s not like anything I’ve ever felt from anyone before, but it makes me tingle. When I kiss you, my toes curl up inside my shoes, and it feels like my heart will leap out of my chest. You’re perfect, Harry, and it’s stupid and childish, but I know you came here for me. You’re my knight in shining armor.” She blushed in the moonlight. Her heart was right out there for him, and she waited silently, her heart pounding against Harry’s chest as the silence stretched between them. Harry was very troubled. He liked her, he really did. She was so wonderful, and he did love her, but she was not the person who made him feel the way that she described. When he kissed her, his body responded, but his mind nagged at him, telling him that it wasn’t right. His brain boiled with turmoil. What could he say to make this right? How do you let someone down easy? Someone you truly care about? Someone you might be dooming to a life of unhappiness. Maybe he should just marry her? They had been so nice to him after all. It could be a great life. When Harry didn’t answer Kyla began to fidget. Finally, just to break the silence, she asked him, “Harry, what’s your dream?” Harry’s brain was in full collapse; he had so many thoughts going through it, processing them all was making him confused. He couldn’t work out what she was asking. “What do you mean?” “When you close your eyes and see yourself in the future, and you have everything you ever wanted, what do you see?” “Erm, I don’t have a dream,” Harry answered stoically. “Of course you have a dream, Harry. Everyone has a dream,” Kyla encouraged. “What’s your dream then?” Harry asked. “Well, you heard mine. I just told you, to be swept away by a mysterious dark-haired stranger. But I also want to go to school to be veterinarian, and have three beautiful kids that my dark-haired stranger and I raise on small farm out in the country somewhere.” She sighed contentedly and grabbed Harry tighter. “Your turn, Harry.” “That’s a nice dream,” Harry answered. “But I was serious; I don’t have one.” “Oh, Harry, just tell me please. It doesn’t have to include me if it makes you uncomfortable. But, you’ll get a nice reward if it does,” she giggled devilishly. “The thing is...I stopped dreaming the day I walked away from Ginny to focus on ending the war. I forced myself to focus on the task; on that one thing that would make me free. Only it didn’t make me free. It left me cursed, and now I don’t dare to dream; there’s only sadness there,” Harry finished darkly. “Er, wow, Harry. You really know how to woo a girl,” Kyla said, shivering uncomfortably at Harry’s dark admission. “I’m sorry, Kyla, I’m really not trying to woo you. I really do like you a lot, but I’m not in love with you.” Kyla blanched noticeably. “I think you’re great, okay? You’re so wonderful, and beautiful, and I mean it, I like you. If the world was different, if I was different, I’d love to have a dream like yours, but your father is right, I do have too many demons, I have too much history to sort out,” Harry ended lamely. Kyla sat up and pulled away. She didn’t cry, but she did take a moment to calm herself. When she finally had most of her composure Kyla turned and looked at him. “Promise me something, Harry.” “I will if I can.” He nodded. “Promise me you will sort out your feelings for this Ginny, and if you can’t be with her, or she doesn’t want to be with you, you will give us a try. You don’t have to marry me; I just want to know if the only reason you don’t want to be with me is because of someone you went out with eight years ago. Feelings change, Harry. Her feelings may have changed. Eight years is a long time.” “I can’t promise you that, but I’ll do what I can,” Harry answered. “Well, I guess that’s it then. When are you going to go and see her?” Kyla asked. “I don’t know.” “Are you going to stay here until you do?” “No.” After a rather pregnant pause, Kyla choked out, “When are you leaving?” “Soon.” “You were going to leave even before we had this discussion, weren’t you?” Kyla asked. “Yes, I can’t take advantage of your family anymore,” Harry answered sadly. “You aren’t taking advantage of us. We care about you, and you have done so much work for Father. He could never have gotten all that done before winter by himself,” Kyla answered her voice taking on the kind melodic tone it normally had. “We should get back inside.” “If that’s what you want, but remember our conversation, Harry. Don’t forget me,” she urged. “I will never forget you.” Harry grabbed her and hugged her tightly. They picked up the blankets and went back inside. Harry pretended to be getting ready for bed, and once he was sure Kyla had gone to bed, he sat down at the kitchen table and wrote a note.
Harry put the note on the table, counted out three hundred and twenty pounds, the amount he had been already paid, plus an extra one hundred and twenty pounds he had acquired when he made the bank transfer. He put a small wrapped package on the table next to it and then piled all of the clothing that he had been loaned by the Brysons next to the two small piles. He grabbed the rucksack he had purchased, walked out the front door, and Disapparated. A/N: You’ve probably noticed that Hermione is spending a lot of time showing Harry memories of women he met while he was gone. There’s a reason for this. From my perspective it’s central to the story, and Harry’s eventual interaction with Ginny. Two, once he comes back into the wizarding world, he’s going to meet quite a lot of cagey women who know how to play the game of flirting rather well, and Hermione is providing him some insight on the interaction between the sexes in a safe manner. Lastly, is Hermione’s reason for doing it, and that is, that she is extremely concerned that Harry may have someone waiting for him out there, that is missing him. If he has a family waiting for him to return, then exposing him to Ginny, when he has only the memories of his seventeen year old self could be a disaster. So when she indexed his memories, these showed up as the most likely candidates to have someone waiting for his return. I hope that clears up a little of why Hermione is showing him memories of other women. The next chapter takes this to a very odd and I think rather funny place. Hope you enjoy the story and that you keep reading. Oh and beyond the funny moment there is Harry and Ginny’s first meeting in nine years...but you wouldn’t be interested in that. I also hope that all your hardcore Harry and Ginny shippers can at least feel a little bit for Kyla’s situation. She’s not had an easy life either, don’t condemn her just because she likes Ginny’s ex.
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