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Author: Bart Story: Thunder And Rainbows Rating: Young Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: WIP Reviews: 6 Words: 8,486
*** "Each memory is a precious treasure, fondly dwelt upon, sacramental in its significance." Alexander McCall Smith ~ Tears of the Giraffe *** "Er... hello professor," said Harry, nervously looking behind himself to make sure that none of the Dursleys could see who was at the door. Stepping quickly outside, he quietly closed the door behind him. "Professor! What are you doing here?" "I thought you and I should have a talk, Harry." Harry's heart dropped at his professor's words. He just was not ready to talk now, particularly to Professor Lupin, his godfather's best friend. Noticing the look on his ex-pupil's face, Professor Lupin said gently, "It's all right Harry, I'm only here to talk about how you're settling back in. We don't have to talk about anything else if you don't want to, but if you do, I'm here any time. You do know that, don't you, Harry?" "EVERYBODY WANTS TO TALK TO ME NOW, DO THEY? WELL NOBODY WANTED TO TELL ME ANYTHING LAST YEAR! WHY SHOULD I TALK TO ANY OF YOU?" "Harry, I'm just here to see you," implored his professor. "REALLY?" "Yes, Harry, really. Is it that unusual?" "Well, nobody seemed to want to see me last year," retorted Harry. "That was one of the things I wanted to appolgise for, it was wrong to keep everything from you, and well, things are different this year." "Don't you think I know that Professor?" "Yes Harry, belive me I'm fully aware you know that, now can I stay or would you prefer me to go?" Harry hesitated for a moment before replying, his feelings were all over the place and he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. However, seeing the worried look on Remus' face, Harry swallowed and added, "Sorry professor, please stay." "It's okay Harry, but I wish you would stop calling me 'professor'. I have not been your teacher for a while now." Resting his hand on Harry's shoulder, he continued, "Please call me Remus, or Moony, if you like. Now, it's a pleasant evening, so let's take a walk. Have you got your wand on you, or do you need to go inside to get it?" "It'slockedaway," Harry mumbled very quietly. "Pardon, Harry?" "I said it's locked away inside," he replied, just as quietly. "It's locked where?" "Well, Uncle Vernon said he didn't want any repeat of last year, and I couldn't tell you because he has my writing things as well." Harry dared not look at his former professor, worried that this turn of events hadn't bothered him too much would show on his face. Remus' normally placid expression faltered for a moment, and while it was only a fraction of a second, Harry noticed a quiet fury behind Remus' eyes which made him very glad he was not on the end of his professor's anger. Before he could speak to him again, Remus had Disapparated off the doorstep. A moment later, he could hear a faint crack and then a whimper of surprise as Remus reappeared, obviously near wherever Harry's uncle was. Harry burst through the door just in time to see his uncle being pulled back out of his old cupboard under the stairs, where he was trying to hide. His first thought was how his uncle had managed to fit under the cupboard. Then seeing the look on Remus's face, he worried what Remus might do to his uncle and what the consequences would be for his favourite professor, should such an event come to pass. "Don't worry, Harry, your uncle and I are just going to have a little chat about a couple of points he seems to have forgotten since I saw him last, and you can stay right where you are!" He turned his attention to Dudley, who was trying to slip past him and escape to somewhere that did not have an angry wizard in it. "You need to hear this too!" With that, he marched the both of them into the kitchen, smiling reassuringly at Harry before closing the door. An hour later Harry was pacing up and down the living room carpet, having given up trying to listen at the kitchen door, as Lupin had obviously cast a silencing charm on the room. *** "Here we go Harry, I believe that this is yours," said Remus, as he finally stepped back in to the room. "The rest of your things will be back in your room when we get back from our walk." He indicated that Harry should lead the way out of the house. "Where do you want head to, Harry?" "Towards the park, I think. I quite like it there." "Okay, you lead." Neither of them spoke until they reached the park where both Harry and Remus took a swing each and just sat there, as each waited for the other to speak. "Harry, how are you doing, really?" said Remus, starting the conversation off. "I'm fine, Professor. Well... you know," replied Harry, with a tight-lipped smile. "Yes Harry, I know," Remus did not need to ask what, "you know," meant; he had used it himself many times since... Well just since. "And Harry, as I have told you earlier, there is no need to call me professor, I'm not your professor any more. Anyway, from what I saw at the Ministry, and what Dumbledore tells me, you did a better job than me teaching Defence against the Dark Arts. Just look at how well Neville's done since you've been teaching him." "Didn't help though, did it?" snapped Harry, his temper rising once again. "What do you mean it didn't help? Of course it helped!" "I mean Sirius, of course! As if you didn't know!" Remus calmly replied, "No Harry, I am not sure I do know, so help me out. Where do you think you didn't help?" Grabbing hold of the chains on Remus' swing, Harry stood swiftly and leant right over him, shaking slightly, "I got him killed! If it wasn't for me, he wouldn't have been there!" Remus took his time before replying; knowing that his choice of words could make all the difference, "Yes Harry, you are of course right. If it were not for you, he would not have been there. You, of course, are such a good wizard that it was you controlling Voldemort's dreams, and not the other way round. You, of course, made no effort to see if it was true that Sirius was already there. You, of course, asked Sirius to come along and get himself killed. You, of course, controlled Bellatrix to make her cast that curse, and of course Harry, you alone are the only one suffering his loss." Harry stood frozen to the spot; he had never heard Remus speak to anybody like that before and suddenly wasn't sure what to say. His anger had gone as suddenly as it had arrived. "That's not quite what I said," he settled on meekly. "No, Harry, it is what you meant, and I know that because I've thought much the same things since then. Nevertheless, Harry, Sirius was his own man, and made his own choices. You did not make them for him, and you are not responsible for his death; only Bellatrix can lay claim to that. Yes, you could have made other choices, but then so could I, and so could Dumbledore. We will have to live with that. As hard as it is, it does not make us responsible, Harry, and Sirius would not want you to be. Yes, the pain is deep, and yes, it seems like it will never go away. And I can tell you, Harry, it never truly will, but you will learn how to deal with it, control it even, and eventually you will be able to move on. No, not forget, Harry." Seeing the look in the teenager's eyes, he repeated his point more insistently. "No, never forget... just move on, and moving on is what Sirius would want. Before you say anything Harry, I do know what Sirius would want. I've knew him a long, long time, you know. We did a lot of talking since he returned to my life, something for which we both have you to thank, Harry. Remember?" As his professor's words began to sink in, Harry swallowed. His throat starting to burn, as he tried to rub the stinging out of his eyes, he managed to croak out, "Thank you, Remus..." Lupin just nodded and watched as Harry walked over to a nearby bench and quietly lowered his head between his legs. Sensing that Harry wanted some time alone and would not want to talk for a while, he kept the sobbing boy in sight, even though his own eyes were blurred. He returned to Harry only when he saw him sit up and wipe his eyes. "Remus?" "Yes, Harry?" "How did you know to come round?" "Well, one of Arabella's cats reported a... and I quote, a' scruffy black haired reprobate' trying to break the door down." He looked over and grinned at Harry. "Know anybody in Little Whinging, that fits that description, Harry?" Smiling back, Harry said, "I'm sure that me knocking on Mrs. Figg's door was not the only reason you came to visit." "No, there was your note as well Harry," replied Remus, before describing his fight with Hedwig. "Anyway, once we had read that, along with you trying to break Arabella's front door into tiny pieces, we decided that a visit was due. I came here and old Mad Eye went to see Dumbledore to let him know what was happening. The rest you know, well, mostly, anyway..." A sudden twinkle appeared in his eye. "Mostly?" "Later, Harry later," he replied. When there's less time for you to kill me. "Remus?" "Yes, Harry?" "Can you tell me about Sirius? I know so little, and I think knowing a bit more about him will help." "Of course, Harry. Where would you like me to start?" "Well, what about Hogwarts? When did you meet?" *** It was very late at night before they stopped talking and occasionally laughing at Sirius's antics. "Well, Harry, I think it's about time I got you home. I don't want to give the Dursleys any more reason to have a go at you with -- not that I think they will now anyway," said Remus. "Oh, I should tell you that I had to make a promise on your behalf, and well I thought it would help, if you were err... seen to be making amends." There was a grin on his face, Harry could not place, but was fairly sure meant trouble -- and not for Remus. "What do you mean make amends?" "Well it seems you have been making trouble in your cousin's love life." Now openly grinning, Remus continued, "and it's all your doing, using your abnormal ways to spoil things." "What? I haven't done anything! What are you on about?" "Well, your uncle started blaming you for your cousin's recent depression, and it turns out that he was rather hopeful of dating a nice local girl you see." "Err... I think so. I try not to think about his love life if I can, and what has this to do with me?" "Well, it turns out that she has agreed to go out with him, as long as it was a double date so she can bring her friend along... You see, it seems that this friend spotted someone at a neighbour's house, earlier, and Dudley took the opportunity to do a little Harry bashing, which of course meant admitting he knew you." "And again, what has this to do with me?" "Well, you see, it seems she was quite smitten with a certain black haired reprobate, trying to break her neighbour's door down. Ring any bells Harry?" Realisation hit Harry like a Bludger to the head. "Tell me you are kidding, Remus, please! I am not going on a double date with Dudley. No way!" "Sorry, Harry, but I promised that you would and I can't just keep threatening your uncle. I think it would be good to be seen to be making an effort -- don't you, Harry?" "I have no choice, do I?" he said, resigned to his fate. "No, I am afraid you don't, Harry. Anyway it will be good for you to get out a bit." "You do realise that you are a dead wolf, don't you, Remus?" "Probably, Harry, probably. Ah, look! We're here! I'll just see you inside and be off then, shall I?" Opening the door and pushing Harry inside, he continued, "See you then, Harry, and err... do write and let me know how it goes, won't you?" Laughing and closing the door before Harry could retort, Remus looked up at the stars and said, "You see Sirius, I've not lost my touch. I can still get one over a Potter!" and walked off down Privet Drive whistling to himself. As Harry heard the close behind him, he stepped forward and nearly tripped over his books that were left at the bottom of the stairs. Before he could steady himself, his uncle's voice bellowed out from behind the closed kitchen door, "Take them upstairs, boy! And I don't want to see them or that thing until you go back to school, is that understood?" When no other instructions were forthcoming, he picked up his things and carried them upstairs, noting with some surprise that his desk had been returned. Looking at his desk, then at the items he was carrying, he smiled, then grinned, and then sat down and decided that the first letter he was going to write would be to Remus thanking him for tonight's talk and listing in detail the things he was going to do to him in revenge for putting him in the situation with his cousin he now found himself. Then there was that girl; she made Lavender and Parvati look subtle! Shuddering at the thought, he added a few more things to the list. Once he had penned a quick note to Ron to let him know he was okay, and some of what had that evening, accidentally forgetting to mention the double date with Dudley. Harry changed into his pyjamas and climbed into bed, before quickly falling asleep. --- A/N: Once again thanks to Imogen, Robert and LadyChi for their tireless work against my random grammar. J And a big thanks to Melindaleo, who looked at this chapter and offered some very sound advice on it. J Check her fabulous story here at The Song: http://www.phoenixsong.net/symphony/stories.php?psid=599
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