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Author: Lady Chi Story: With All My Love Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Warning: Sexual themes Reviews: 4 Words: 60,540
Warning: This chapter contains PG-13 rated dialogue concerning
teenaged sexuality. Some of it may seem crude to readers not familiar
with teenaged girls. The Christmas holiday had arrived, and all the seventh-year Gryffindors welcomed the change in atmosphere -- the Marauders doubly so. One, because their NEWT classes had become more difficult, and two, because the tension between Lily, Remus and James had grown almost unbearable to anyone unfortunate enough to be around them. Remus -- having finally admitted all his feelings -- had originally felt a sense of relief, but soon he found it awkward to be alone with Lily or even James, who still couldn’t figure out how to handle the news that Remus liked Lily. Sirius, meanwhile, had sunk into one of his classic depressions: manically happy in large crowds, sullen, unresponsive and difficult among those who knew him best. The night before the holiday was to begin, Lily was in her dormitory, packing in her efficient way. She’d spent the evening laughing and joking with Peter and James, but she’d begged off early to spend a few extra minutes packing. This Christmas holiday was going to be special. In the middle of her musings, there was an unobtrusive knock on her door. Lily paused, wondering who it could be, then shrugged and went back to her packing. “Come on in,” she called, smiling fondly at a red jumper before placing it carefully in her traveling trunk. She looked up, and then smiled in genuine pleasure. “Hello, Meg.” As much as she loved James and enjoyed spending time with his friends, sometimes it was nice to see one of her female friends walk through the door. “Where’re you going?” Meg asked, looking slightly confused. “I thought you’d said that you weren’t going to go home for the Christmas holiday.” Lily smiled. “I’m not. You couldn’t make me go home for anything in the world. I’d have to sit through hours of Petunia and Vernon talking to each other in that disgusting baby-talk they use -- ‘Vernonkins’ and ‘Petuniawunia’. No, I don’t think so. I’m going to spend Christmas with James and his family.” Meg’s eyebrows rose. “When did this happen? I mean, I knew you were seeing James, but I didn’t know it was that serious.” “It’s not serious.” “Spending Christmas with his family doesn’t sound serious to you? It sounds serious to me.” Somehow, admitting the seriousness of her relationship with James didn’t feel comfortable to Lily. She’d been friends with Meg for a long time, but there was something so intensely private about what passed between her and James that she didn’t want to talk about it. At least, she didn’t want to talk about the emotional side of things. “James asked me about a week ago. He didn’t want to me feel alone, that’s all. He said he knew that it would be rough for me to get this through this Christmas, you know… without Mum.” Meg nodded sympathetically. “I don’t know how you managed to get the only sensitive boy in Hogwarts, but you did it.” Lily shrugged but couldn’t help looking pleased. Then she realized what her friend was really saying and sighed. “Troubles with Connor again?” Meg smiled, but didn’t deny it. “You see right through me.” “Only because you’re as clear as glass.” With a careless flip of her hand, Lily shut the top of her trunk. “Come on,” she said, patting a spot on the bed next to her. “Tell me all about it. If nothing else, you’ll feel better afterwards.” The two girls stayed up late into the night, as they usually did during long talking sessions like this, venting their frustrations with boyfriends, teachers, classmates and relatives, but also sharing the little things in life that made it bearable. Eventually, after an hour and a half of serious chatter about nothing that mattered at all, Lily confided that James had wonderful arms. “Probably my favorite feature,” she giggled, although she would never admit that she did. Meg whispered conspiratorially that Connor had discovered a broom closet that had a perfect location between the Transfiguration classroom and the Potions dungeon just a few days before that made quick petting sessions in between classes possible. Lily sighed romantically, but then sat up a little straighter. “I don’t really think James and I are ready for dark broom closets just yet.” “Why not?” Meg asked concernedly. “We’ve only been seeing each other for a few months now, and we’ve sort of agreed to take it easy.” Meg laughed. “You both decided? Or you decided?” Lily stiffened. There was something in that tone that she didn’t like. “We both decided.” “You sat down and talked about it like rational, normal adults?” “Well, no.” “Good. I was beginning to think that James had lost all his spine.” “What are you trying to say? That I’m not as grown up as you because I haven’t dropped my skirt for a man?” “I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying that it’s normal for a bloke to pressure a girl, you know, for that kind of thing. James never mentions it?” Lily shook her head, beginning to feel confused in spite of herself. “Why should he?” Meg laughed, playing the wise, older woman of the world, although she didn’t have nearly as much experience as she liked to pretend. “That’s all a boy can think about. They’ve done studies about it, you know.” “Well, maybe blokes in general, but not James. I mean… there is a lot of heat, but…” “You’ve just never had the occasion to go all the way?” Meg asked, toning it down, aware that she’d offended Lily before. “Yes, that’s exactly it. Though I really don’t think I’d have the courage to… you know... before I’m married. James seems to understand. Most of the time he stops before I have to stop him myself.” “Well, well. Sensitive and honorable! That is just amazing.” Meg sighed wearily. “You’ve caught a real gem in James Potter.” Lily narrowed her eyes. “Yes, I have, and I don’t intend to share him.” Meg chuckled, just as Lily was hoping she would. “I wasn’t trying to take him from you, I was just… stating an opinion.” “Is Connor really that bad?” “I suppose he’s really not,” Meg admitted, leaning back on the bed to gaze up at the ceiling. “It’s just that some days he’ll act like he doesn’t care, and then he snaps at me if I so much as talk to another boy while he’s in the room. It’s very frustrating.” “If you’re that miserable, you don’t have to stay with him, you know,” Lily suggested patiently, as she had millions of times in the past. “It’s not like you have a ring on your finger.” Meg shook her head. “It’s almost exactly like I’ve got a ring on my finger. Connor and I… well, we’re a lot different than you and James. Things are expected of us. Our families know each other; there’s money involved…. We’re both…” “Pureblood?” Meg laughed nervously. She hadn’t meant to say that out loud. “Not that it matters, but it’s just expected that Connor and I will marry.” “So it’s just an added bonus that you two happen to like each other?” “Honestly, I don’t think that us liking each other is that much of a factor to our parents. They made the decision long before we did.” “That’s so medieval, don’t you think?” “It’s just the way things are done in our families, Lily. I’m going to marry Connor in the spring of 1979. I’m going to wear the family’s traditional white robes with gold inlay that will probably have to be modified to fit my fat bum. We’ll party long into the night, but in a very respectable fashion, and drink a lot of very expensive wine, probably supplied by his father, since he’s into that sort of thing, and we’ll head off to France to the same honeymoon spot that his family has used for centuries. We’ll consummate our marriage and hopefully conceive an heir that same night, so that we won’t have to touch each other in ten years when we can’t stand to be around each other.” Lily raised an eyebrow, feeling slightly overwhelmed. “I had no idea it was like that for you. Why didn’t you tell me before?” “It’s like that for most pureblood families. I just assumed you would know. Sometimes it’s very easy to forget that you’re a Muggle.” “Is it… I mean, will James’s parents expect that kind of thing from us?” Lily wondered aloud. “Oh, probably not,” Meg said confidently, recovering a little from her tirade. “The Potters are different than the rest of us, especially concerning that sort of thing. You’ve no idea how lucky you are.” “No, I guess I don’t.” ** James waited nervously in the Great Hall the next morning. “Do you think she still wants to come?” “Yes, of course she does,” Sirius said with the tired patience of someone who had gone over this at least twice before. “She’s a girl, and girls, strange and wonderful creatures that they are, take a much longer time to get ready. Particularly when they know people are going to be waiting on them,” Sirius teased. James laughed. “I’d agree with you there, but don’t let Lily hear you say that.” A few seconds later, Lily came rushing down the stairs, busily wrapping her scarf around her neck. “I’m sorry I’m late,” she announced, running over to James to kiss his cheek in greeting. “My trunk was so heavy I had to unpack it all and start over. I know the house-elves can pick them up even when they weigh tons, but I always feel so guilty when I shove a lot of things in there.”. James grinned and wrapped his arms around Lily’s waist. “All right. I’m ready to go. What are we waiting for?” Lily shook her head in amusement and snuggled in closer to James. She told herself that the others would think it was for warmth. “The Hogwarts Express doesn’t leave for ten minutes. We certainly don’t have to worry about leaving just yet.” “James is just embarrassed because he was afraid you wouldn’t come,” Peter said, chuckling a little. “The rest of us weren’t too worried.” “Well, to tell you the truth, I’m a little nervous myself. I’ve never met James’s parents, and now I’m going to be staying a full two weeks at their house.” Peter smiled in the sweet way that lit up his entire face. “Mr. and Mrs. Potter will love you, and you’ll love them.” Sirius nodded very seriously. “I’ve never met anyone the Potters can’t accept. They let me stay with them over the holidays, even after I left my parents. I’ll probably be with them over the summer, as well, at least until I can find a place of my own.” James laughed. “Actually, the only problem you’ll find that you might have with them is that they tend to treat you like you’re twelve. Mum especially can’t get over the idea that we’re leaving school this year, so she’s regressing just a little bit.” “I don’t mind,” Remus said with a shy smile. “As long as the treatment involves chocolate biscuits with tea.” “Sounds wonderful,” Lily said, looking very relieved. “What made you nervous?” James asked, almost anxious to hear if someone had been talking about his parents. “It was just… I was talking with Meg last night and she was talking about marrying Connor McCormick –” “—stupid, brainless lout,” Sirius muttered under his breath. “ – and I hadn’t realized how strict some of the traditions are among the pureblood families.” Sirius snorted, but Peter started to explain. “That’s just the Durmonts and the McCormicks. They talk a big game about letting the Muggle-borns in, you know, ‘integration’, but they don’t necessarily think they need to practice it.” “Actually, that’s most of the upper-class pureblood families,” Remus said in his soft, almost academic tone of voice. “They love the exclusiveness of their society. It takes a lot of money and a lot of class—” “—more like a lot of arrogance and self-importance,” Sirius muttered. “—to be considered a part of their crowd.” “The Potter family’s generally considered the exception to that rule,” Peter said and chuckled. “They do more than talk about integrating Muggles. They spend a lot of time working on legislation to make it easier for Muggle-borns to get into Hogwarts and trying to get as much information to families of Muggle-borns about wizarding society as possible. Some people try to make that difficult.” James nodded, looking faintly embarrassed. “If you’re worried about that, don’t. They aren’t going to care that you’re a Muggle-born.” Lily smiled. “Good.” “They’re going to love you,” Sirius reassured her, and the rest of the Marauders nodded. ** Later, on the Hogwarts Express, while James left to go deal with a fight involving some second-year boys, Lily turned to Sirius. “I know you all keep telling me that James’s parents won’t care that I’m a Muggle, but… All right, this is a stupid question. Is James really that rich?” “James? No.” At the look on Lily’s face, Sirius shook his head in amusement. “James’s parents, however, are very well off.” Lily swallowed. She had some idea of what the Black family fortune was like, so she knew that Sirius’s idea of ‘well off’ and hers might be slightly different. “How well off is ‘well off’?” Sirius chuckled. “Look, don’t be intimidated by the money, all right? It’s not a big deal to them.” “Sirius. Answer me.” “If James were so inclined, I feel fairly sure that he could never work a day in his life and still support a wife and family in very fine style. You’d never know that, though. The only reason I do is because I’ve got family in banking. His parents… well, they’re amazing. They’re going to love you because James loves you. That’s enough for them. It’ll just be icing on the cake that you’re pretty, smart and charming.” Remus, who had been listening, nodded. The door slid open and a rosy-cheeked James entered the car. “We’re here! Hurry up, Sirius. Come on, Lily. I’ve already seen them. They’re waiting.” As they headed towards the exit, James covertly pulled Lily into one of the private compartments. “I want you to know that you don’t have to be nervous.” Lily smiled bravely. “I always am when I meet people important to the people that… I love. I’m not afraid, though.” James grinned, and his sparkling brown eyes met Lily’s anxious green ones. “Kiss for luck?” “At least one.” ** In my own defense, I’m not really that much of a romantic-- at least not by my calculations. But there’s something about this Lily and James story that makes it difficult to resist putting a little bit fluff in every now and again. Many thanks are extended to Anne and KC for all their hard work and patience, particularly in my pre-vacation panicked rush to get Chapter 14 up before I departed. I did have a chance to read some of your reviews (and respond to all of them on one website, I’ll finish that up on the others sometime next week) while I was on vacation, and thank you all so much for your continued interest in “With All My Love”. In the next chapter, the plot thickens and things get sticky. This is indeed the proverbial calm before the storm.
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