|
||||||||
|
||||||||
Author: Gowdie Story: Bewitched and Bewildered Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 13 Words: 30,619
The drizzling rains of October slowly turned into the chill of November. Harry continued his Occlumency lessons with Dumbledore and apparently was becoming quite adept. His scar almost never bothered him anymore. Of course, it was also possible Voldemort was working just as hard to sever the connection to keep Harry ignorant of any sinister schemes. Either way, it meant that, if he wanted to, Harry could choose to ignore his future for periods of time. Almost. The prophecy remained ever-present, hovering in the back of his mind. If Harry ever thought about it too hard, horrible images would plague his mind. Dumbledore coming to him in the night, simply saying, "It's time." Handing him his wand and sending him off to his fate. Or worse, seeing himself walking through his day, turning some corner and coming face to face with that horrible snake-like visage and chilling laugh. And Harry wouldn't have his wand out and Voldemort would strike him down. Both thoughts would fill him with such anxiety that he would become physically nauseous, so he pushed all thoughts of Voldemort away as hard as he could. Perhaps it was denial; but what else could he do? If he was going to die at some frightening age, like seventeen, Harry would be damned before he spent every single day just waiting for it. No; it was far better to live his life as normally as he could and hope that when the time did come, he would at least be ready. It helped that he was just as busy as he had been in September. And now he had a new project: fighting, as Hermione had put it, for Ginny. And Harry fought as hard as he could. Or rather, he Owled fairly aggressively. The day after the whole horrible singing-get-well-card incident he ordered some flowers and a proper note and had them delivered to Ginny in the hospital wing. When Ginny came back, she didn't mention either. On the Halloween visit to Hogsmeade, he picked up a few sugar quills and sent them to her dormitory with Hedwig. On the same trip he also bought a small silver locket in the shape of a Quaffle. He tied that to Hedwig's leg a week later, with a note apologizing for missing her birthday that summer. He even tried for a joke, saying if only she had driven him from the drawing room a few days earlier, she might have received a present on time. Still nothing. He tried to make a point of complimenting her at least once a day, despite the fact that doing so made him feel like an idiot. Every time he did, he received curious looks from Ron and daggers shot at him from Ginny. Finally, when he had no idea what else to try, Hermione accompanied him to the library and helped him select an appropriate poem. This time he used a school owl and had the letter delivered with the rest of the post. The way Ginny refused to acknowledge anything else he had sent so far was killing him. He had to see her reaction. It wasn't exactly what one might call "glowing." As she sat scowling at the note, Ron asked her what it was. She folded the paper and said, "Just some git trying to sell me something who doesn't know when to quit." Ron nodded and returned to his eggs, but a second later he looked back up and asked, "It's not from Percy, is it?" "No, Ron," she smiled serenely. "Different git." As she said the words, her boot connected painfully with Harry's shin. So much for using the regular post. Harry went back to sending Hedwig on special deliveries to the girls' dorm. He might have stopped altogether, especially after the kicking incident, but Hermione assured him that nothing he had given to Ginny so far had been thrown away. And that, she promised him, was a very good sign.
As Harry and Ron drilled the team for the Quidditch match against Slytherin at the end of November, Harry had no idea just how significant this particular game would turn out to be. Nor would he have ever guessed that the impetus for the shift in his relationship with Ginny would come from none other than resident slimy git - Malfoy. As the two teams met at the centre of the pitch, Draco, as usual, used the opportunity to play a few derogatory mind games. This time he chose to pick on Ginny. "Oh, if it isn't the little Gryffindor mascot for nepotism. Must be nice to have both your brother and your boyfriend as Captains." Strangely, he decided to direct his loathsome grin towards Harry as he continued. "It's so sad. I thought you'd finally found enough self-respect to stop being Potter's little groupie. Makes sense though, since no one else will have you. I heard you weren't even good enough for that Mudblood Thomas." "Did your dad make it to the game Malfoy?" Ginny asked mock-innocently. "Oh, I forgot he can't. He's in PRISON." Malfoy's eyes suddenly turned viciously cold. "He'll be out soon enough. You of all people should know what it's like to have friends in the Ministry, considering that you ought to be rotting in Azkaban yourself." Ginny froze as Malfoy continued in a lower voice, "That's right, I know all about what you were up to your first year. Maybe it's about time the rest of the school finally learned your dirty little secret." Harry never made a conscious decision to move. All of a sudden his body was in the air, lunging at Malfoy's pale scrawny throat. No doubt about it: he was going to kill him. And he was going to do it with his bare hands. Wands were too good for the evil little bastard. Almost as abruptly as Harry's feet had left the ground, he felt several pairs of hands grab his robes from behind and pull him back down. Inches from his target, Harry was forced face-down onto the pitch. He expected to find himself pinned beneath Crabbe and Goyle. Instead, he was shocked to discover Sloper and Kirke on either side of him, pinning his arms; Katie Bell was struggling to hold his legs and Ron was sitting on his back. "Ron, get off me!" "No way, Harry," yelled Sloper. "We're not going through a repeat of last year," muttered Katie as she continued to grapple with his kicking feet. "Sorry, Harry," said Ron steadily. "We can't afford to let Ginny fill your spot again. We'll never find another Chaser as good as her." "But that was Umbridge," Harry hollered. "McGonagall would never ban me! Let me kill him!" "Sorry, mate, can't take the risk." Harry was absolutely flabbergasted by Ron's apparent calm. "Did you hear what he said about your sister?" "I did, but I am making this decision for the good of the team. Besides," Ron's voice took on a dangerous tone, "he will never say anything about it again if he knows what's good for him." "Not to mention the fact that Malfoy knows full well he'll never manage to get you banned for the year. I expect he's just trying to get you kicked out for the game, so he doesn't have to fly against you." This last bit was from Sloper. Harry had never heard him say anything so strategically apt. Malfoy seemed quite taken aback by Sloper's apparently accurate insight regarding his motives. His usually cool voice sounded a bit agitated as he uttered, "I'll fly against Potter any day," before turning around and stalking back to his team. Harry felt Ron shift his position as he turned to say, "Nicely done." "Anytime, Captain," Sloper grinned with a mock salute. Harry still wasn't mollified, "What about Ginny?!" "Believe me, it will be taken care of," Ron declared. "Now are you finished?" Harry finally gave up and stopped squirming, his face resting in the dirt. He felt Sloper, Kirke and Katie slowly release him, before Ron blessedly stood up, removing his considerable weight from Harry's back. Harry pushed himself up to his feet, dusting the dirt off his robes. For the first time he noticed that Ginny was no longer standing with them. A glance around found her ready in her position to start the game. A deep scowl darkened her features. As Ron moved to head back to the hoops, Harry grabbed his arm. "Ron!" he seethed. Ron placed a firm hand on Harry's shoulder. "This isn't the end of this, Harry. But right now we have a game to play, and I need you concentrating." Then he smiled a bit dangerously. "Of course, if you manage to knock Malfoy off his broom in a dive for the Snitch, there's always a chance Madam Hooch might not notice." Though the will was there, Harry never did get a chance to knock Malfoy off anything. Instead, he caught the Snitch in record time, only giving Ginny and the other Chasers a chance to score a handful of goals. Apparently, seething rage helped him to fly even faster than ever before. After the game, despite the win, Harry was still feeling agitated and stayed behind a bit - under the guise of tidying up the change room. When he finally emerged, Ginny was waiting for him. Red hair flaming, she positively flew at him. "I can bloody well fight my own battles!" Harry was in no mood. "That's a bit rich, coming from you." "What is that supposed to mean?" she demanded. Harry glared at her and seethed, "I made it abundantly clear I didn't want you coming to the Ministry last spring, but I didn't manage to stop you, now, did I?" Ginny threw her arms in the air. "That's completely different." "How?" "Because... Because... Sod off!" A picture of absolute fury, she turned and stormed across the grounds. As Harry watched her leave, arms swinging madly as she blustered along, one thought flowed through his brain: she was as frustrating as hell, possibly even insane, but damn it, he still loved her. Oh shite! Still wet, grumpy as hell and possibly a little stinky, Harry collapsed into his favourite chair in the common room. Despite his mood, he still managed to observe that both Weasleys were conspicuously absent. He also couldn't help but notice the curious way Hermione was staring at him, apparently waiting for him to speak. "Where's Ron?" he asked her. She frowned. "He's in a bit of a temper. He's gone off to the Owlery to send an urgent message to Fred and George." Hermione leaned forward, lowering her voice. "What did Malfoy say?" "Well, basically," Harry answered, "he threatened to tell the whole school that Ginny was the one to open the Chamber of Secrets." Hermione's eyes went wide with shock. "Oh." "I don't suppose it would help to make sure everyone finds out Malfoy's dad set her up?" She shook her head. "I don't think it would make a difference. His dad is already in prison for being a Death Eater. Malfoy's reputation can't exactly be hurt any more by accusations of something else his father did. And even if people knew Ginny was possessed, they're still going to treat her like she's a freak." "I hate this," Harry moaned, putting his face in his hands. "I want to do something." "Don't worry, Harry," Hermione soothed. "I am sure Fred and George will have the situation well in hand." "Meanwhile, she's furious with me just because I wanted to strangle the nasty bugger." Hermione stifled a giggle. Harry pointed a finger in her direction. "This seems greatly unfair, you know." "How so?" "I've been watching Ron throw punches and hexes every time someone even looked at you crossed-eyed since second year, but I've never seen you scream at him for it. He even got detention from Snape for telling him off in class for calling you a 'know-it-all.'" Hermione just glowered at him, arms crossed over her chest. "What?" "And here I thought you noticed that Ginny and I are different people." She glared at him for what felt like a full minute to get her point across. Then she waved her hands absently. "Honestly, sometimes Ron gets more upset about those things than I do. Look, I was never happy to see Ron either with a bloody lip or in detention, but as he isn't exactly demonstrative with his feelings, it was his one way of showing how much he cared for me. And that was nice to know." Hermione looked thoughtful for a moment. "Actually, come to think of it, Ginny might be upset for the same reason." "What's that?" "Well," she answered, "she is trying to reject you. You attempting to kill Malfoy is just another demonstration of your affections." Harry shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "Not necessarily." "Oh please," Hermione said dismissively. "You never tried to kill him for me." Of course, in those situations Harry was usually too busy trying to restrain Ron. "Well, I always figured you could take care of yourself." Hermione arched one of her eyebrows pointedly. "And you think that Ginny can't?" Well, that was just silly. Ginny could be downright scary at times. "No." "Then what's the difference?" Harry felt a sinking feeling in his stomach. He put his face in his hands and mumbled, "I felt like, like I needed to protect her honour or something." Hermione nearly doubled over with her snort. "Exactly." Harry felt a little dazed. "Oh."
The next day at breakfast, Harry couldn't help but feel that Ron's spirits seemed a little inappropriately high considering the circumstances. He ploughed through his food and even happily greeted anyone who happened by. Including several people Harry was fairly certain Ron had never bothered speaking to before. Pulling his eyes away from his deranged best friend, Harry scanned the rest of the hall. Still no sign of the pale-faced nemesis. "Where's Malfoy?" he muttered under his breath. "Oh, I wouldn't worry about him," Ron answered while cheerfully helping himself to more eggs. "It seems he had a bit of an incident with a Castration Charm this morning." Harry nearly spit out his pumpkin juice. "What?" "Oh, you heard me." Ron's smile was massive. Then he shrugged casually, "Apparently it arrived special delivery. Along with a note telling him his bits would grow back in twenty-four hours, but if he didn't want to be the victim of a more permanent version, he would keep his mouth shut about certain things. It also warned him that if he visited Madam Pomfrey, any remedy she would try to use would only result in making something else disappear." Next to Ron, Hermione's book slammed down on the table. She was
waving her hands in front of her face and making desperate choking
noises. "Alright there, love?" Ron asked as he helpfully patted her
back. That night in the common room, Harry spotted Ginny sitting by herself in one of the armchairs by the window. He decided that perhaps it was time to see if she was talking to him again. He started with a safe, "Hey." She looked up from her book and responded in kind, "Hey." Electing to take this as permission to join her, Harry sat down. "I just wanted to apologize, you know, for trying to kill Malfoy on your behalf." Ginny closed her book. "Alright." That out of the way, Harry was left unsure how to proceed. It was probably best to stick to the basics. "How are you?" Ginny shrugged. "I'm okay." A small smile graced her lips as she added, "I guess I owe a rather extravagant gift to a few of my brothers." Harry needed to know. It might be dangerous territory, but he couldn't help it. "Can I ask why you didn't get mad at them?" She smirked. "Fred and George neutralized Malfoy far more effectively than I would have been able to," she paused before adding pointedly, "yet. Sometimes you just have to sit back in awe and admire them." Ginny sighed before looking him in the eye and saying, "I suppose it is possible I may have flown off the handle, slightly." Harry swallowed and nodded, a little afraid to respond. If they were really coming to a truce, he was frightened of messing it up. Ginny was staring out the window. Something in her demeanor told Harry to keep quiet. She was gathering her thoughts, perhaps building a little courage. When she finally spoke, her voice was very soft, and she kept her eyes on the sky outside. "When those Dementors were around, that's what I remembered. Finding myself immobilized on the floor in that awful place and knowing that I was going to die there. Then Riddle coming out of that diary like some kind of ghost and thanking me for being such a silly, stupid little girl. I could feel the life seeping out of me, and he was telling me how proud I should be for all the horrible things I had done and all the more horrible things he would do now that I had set him free. And not to worry: soon I would be dead, but I wouldn't die alone." She smiled bitterly before she finished, "You were coming, my hero to rescue me, and he would kill you too." Harry felt he needed to say something. He wasn't sure what, but he had to try. "Virginia..." "But I have put it behind me," Ginny cut him off. She looked at him sharply and continued, "Forgiven myself. Grown up, for crying out loud!" Ginny slouched in her seat a bit and stared down into her lap. "It was easier to spend the match being furious with you than having to think about what might happen if Malfoy opens his mouth." She heaved another sigh and started a tirade, "And I know that it doesn't make sense. That if I'm really over it, I shouldn't care what other people think, but I can't help it. It would feel like I was forced back into being the little girl I used to be. And I never want to feel that way again. And I don't want to hear the whispering. And I don't want to see people looking at me like, like..." "Like they look at me?" asked Harry. Ginny's head snapped up. "It's okay. Hating Harry Potter seems to be almost a yearly event around here. And when people aren't hating me, they're still looking at me like I'm a freak because I can talk to snakes or I'm a lying, attention-seeking lunatic." Ginny just stared at him as Harry mused wryly, "Third year wasn't so bad, at least then I was just a wimp who fainted at Dementors and had a psychopath trying to kill me." "Maybe you should try passing out more often," Ginny quipped. She shook her head and said earnestly, "Not everybody hates you, Harry." "No," Harry snorted, "some act like I'm some kind of hero. And that isn't any better. It still makes me a freak." Ginny mock-glared at him and asked, "When did this conversation become about you?" "Sorry," Harry winced. "What I was getting at is I know what it feels like. And I hate it. And I never want you to have to feel like that. Ever. No one should ever see you as anything other than amazing and funny and kind, because that's what you are. They shouldn't treat you differently because of something that wasn't your fault and happened when you were eleven. They shouldn't look at you like they look at me. That's why I needed to kill Malfoy." "You're right," Ginny said cheekily. "It would be awful if I turned into a grouchy git like you." If the words had come from anyone else, Harry thought he might have been angry. But the brilliant smile she gave him, accompanied by the affection in her warm eyes, softened the slight blow. "The world definitely doesn't need two of us," he agreed. Ginny bent forward and took his hand and Harry felt his breath stop. "One of my best friends has come through far worse in the department of slander and still, for the most part, manages to be one of the most decent people I know. I'll be alright." She stood up, still bending towards him and whispered directly in his ear, "Besides, I know who my true friends are." For the briefest of moments, Harry felt soft lips brush his cheek. He sat frozen, completely unable to move. And she sauntered off, as cool as he had ever seen her, as though nothing of import had happened.
Harry was sitting in the Great Hall, ignoring his breakfast, practically a wreck. He wasn't sure he had slept for a single hour the night before. The same thoughts kept circling in his head. Ginny had kissed him! But why? She had decided not to like him. Did this mean she had changed her mind? Sure, it had only been on the cheek, but she certainly wouldn't kiss him if she didn't like him at all. At the very least, it seemed a truce of some kind had been reached. And that had to be a good thing. Very definitely, her kissing him in no way could be bad. And that was good. That was outstanding. Harry had stalled as long as he could, first in the dorm, then in the common room, packing and repacking his bag. Ginny was always a little later down to breakfast and Harry hoped he could manage to wait for her. A typically troublesome Ron had decided he couldn't stand it anymore and had finally grabbed Harry by the back of his robes and dragged him bodily through the portrait hole. The best that Harry could do was guard the seat next to him. And guard it he did, like a viper. When the first person had tried to sit, Harry had managed a somewhat cheerful, "Sorry, can't sit there, it's saved." Unfortunately, his polite tone quickly descended into a snarling snappish, "Taken!" whenever anyone even glanced at the vacancy. After a scared-looking first-year scuttled away as though Harry had threatened to hex her, Ron finally piped up, "What's got into you this morning?" Harry tried to sound as casual as he could as he answered, "Just saving a seat for Ginny is all." Ron seemed boggled. "Why?" "She needs somewhere to sit, doesn't she?" Ron looked rather pointedly down the half-empty table and said, "Right," in such a sarcastic tone Harry knew he was in for an interrogation. The book Hermione had propped in front of her quivered a little, but she apparently decided to refrain from making a comment of her own. Damn. Why couldn't she have something useful to announce, like news from the Elfish Welfare front or something? Much to Harry's relief, Ginny chose that moment to arrive. "Ginny!" Harry popped out of his seat so fast he banged his knees on the table. Suppressing his grimace, he gestured to the space beside him and said, perhaps a little too eagerly, "I saved you a seat." Ginny looked from the bench to Harry and back again, as though she were considering her next move very carefully. Then she smiled brightly, picked something off the table and said, "Thanks, Harry, but I just came to pick up some toast. I have to get to class early to discuss a charm with Professor Flitwick." She took a bite and munched as though to prove her point and turned to go. "See you at lunch, then," Harry called after her. "Or supper maybe!" Ginny swung back around, but didn't stop walking to answer, "Maybe. It's hard to say. OWLs, you know." And she was gone. Harry sank back down, feeling deflated. Ron was staring at him. "What the hell was that?" "Nothing," Harry muttered, defeated. Absolutely nothing, he silently added as he dropped his head onto the table.
Author's Note: Just a preemptive strike - anyone terribly unhappy with Ginny in this chapter, don't worry, she will get a chance to explain all of this from her perspective in the next chapter. Just be patient with her a bit longer, she is scared. She needs a little time to breathe and process everything that has happened.
|