|
||||||||
|
||||||||
Author: Serendipity Story: That Muted Sort of Longing Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: WIP Reviews: 2 Words: 100,131
A/N: It would be horribly wrong for me to start this chapter without first thanking the people who have reviewed thus far. I was shocked, overwhelmed, and utterly joyful to see everyone's kind feedback. It means so much to me and I'm grateful beyond words. Thank you all so much. Ginny awoke the following morning to a terrible headache and the realization that she would have to skip breakfast to get to her first class on time. She was also greeted with the rather disturbing sight of several purple feathers lying on the bottom of Maeven's cage. The phoenix was entering her late life cycle and it was only a matter of time before she transformed back into a chick. Forcing herself out of bed, she went through the perfunctory motions of getting dressed and it wasn't long before she was making her way out of her dormitory, Maeven perched on her shoulder. Her fight with Harry had left her feeling out of sorts and exhausted, but the dark burning anger she'd felt the evening before had faded. Some would say it was a virtue, but right then Ginny was irritated by her inability to hold a grudge. She generally found it too draining to be continuously angry with someone but in this case, Harry owed her an apology and she planned on stubbornly holding out until she got it. "Ginny." She froze momentarily at the unexpected sound of his voice. As it turned out, she didn't have to wait long. When she'd come downstairs, the common room had looked deserted, but he was sitting against the wall facing the portrait hole and she hadn't seen him. Now she was torn. She could walk on and make him work for her attention, or she could be the bigger human being and hear him out. "Ginny, please hold on. I-I've been waiting for you to come down." He sounded as tired as she felt and that knowledge brought a twinge to her heart. It wasn't the first time she felt herself loathing the power he unknowingly lorded over her. Sighing, she turned towards him and saw a genuine look of contrition on his handsome features. "Can we sit?" "We'll be late for class, Harry." "It'll only take a minute." She frowned slightly at this, since his apology really deserved more than a minute, but allowed herself to be seated on the sofa. "Look, Dumbledore only came to speak with me about resurrecting the D.A. a week or so ago. I meant to tell you about it, even though your Familiar's class conflicted, since I knew you'd want to know. It's just that…what with Quidditch tryouts and classes…I just never got around to discussing it with you and then Neville beat me to it. I'm sorry. Really sorry." She let his words sink in for a few moments before responding. "Do you know why?" He stared at her. "Do I know why what?" "Do you know why you should be sorry, Harry?" He blinked. "Well…well, because it hurt your feelings and I didn't mean to do that." When it became clear she was expecting more, he rushed on to elaborate. "It's like this…you were a part of the D.A. as much as the rest of us were and I should have been more sensitive to that. I wouldn't have liked it if you had gone and resurrected the club without telling me, you know? I would have felt left out." She fought off the depressing urge to laugh. That whole last part sounded like a direct quote from Hermione Granger. Oh well. Ginny reckoned she shouldn't have really expected Harry to understand why she was upset. In the end, she knew that if she ever wanted to make peace with him it was going to have to be enough that he was admitting he had been wrong even though she knew he hadn't properly worked out why. As they said, beggars could not be choosers and when it came to Harry, Ginny felt the perpetual beggar. "All right, then." She stood up and he quickly did as well. "You're forgiven." He sent her a relieved smile as they walked to the portrait hole. "That wasn't nearly as difficult as I thought it would be." "Well, better be careful then as I'll make you put some effort in to it next time." "Hopefully you won't have the opportunity for that." His green eyes sparkled when he smiled at her. "Besides, we're teammates now. It wouldn't be right to be fighting." She bit her lip. Now why did he do that? Why go and ruin a perfectly mediocre apology by saying something like that? Now, she would forever be plagued by the feeling he'd only said he was sorry to help Gryffindor's chances of winning the Quidditch Cup. Ginny's displeasure deepened the minute they stepped out of the portrait hole, as he was already dashing away from her. "See you on the pitch, then." Murmuring her farewell, she headed off in the direction of the Potions classroom, unable to stop herself from feeling vaguely…cheated. ~*~ Shuffling down the hall after her last class of the morning Ginny's head was all but swimming with thoughts of school, Quidditch, and Harry. She was so distracted, in fact, that she almost didn't notice the man standing in the hall until she had almost passed him. "Professor Lupin?" At the sound of his name, he turned towards her, his face breaking into a grin. "Ginny Weasley." They had grown close enough over the past year that she would have normally hugged him in greeting, but he was with a pretty dark haired woman she didn't recognize, so she settled on a handshake instead. "How are you?" "I'm doing all right. It's quite nice to be back at Hogwarts, actually. It's been a while hasn't it?" Nodding happily, she regarded him with sparkling eyes. "I'm so sorry I didn't come to see you earlier. I only found out you were teaching again yesterday evening." At this, his features darkened, "Yes, I know. I heard about that. I should probably be the one apologizing to you, Ginny. When I told Harry to take care of inviting everyone who might be interested, I simply assumed he would have the sense to include the person who actually named the original group. Sometimes, I just don't understand him…" "Oh, it's not your fault. He's already apologized-it's fine now." A white lie at best, but Ginny was so overjoyed to see her former Defense Against The Dark Arts Professor in the halls of Hogwarts that she didn't want to spoil the moment talking about her fight with Harry. "Well, all I can say is that we miss you in class. It's never quite the same with only one Weasley around. You were always one of my best pupils." She blushed happily at the compliment. "Actually, that reminds me, now that you're teaching the study session, will you be teaching full time soon?" He paused. "Actually, I don't know. I'd like to but…there's still some resistance from up above. People can be funny sometimes, Ginny. Dumbledore had to use quite a bit of influence to get me this position and I'm very grateful for it. I don't know how I'll ever repay him." It was then that she noted that, despite his slightly gaunt and sad look, he was dressed much more nicely than she last remembered. The shabby, threadbare robes that he usually wore had been replaced with a dark blue set that looked brand new and smartly cut. She knew that his being a werewolf made it incredibly hard for him to find a job and this change of attire indicated that even though he'd only been given a part time position, he was being paid handsomely for it. If possible, her love for Dumbledore soared even higher. "So, don't I even get a hello?" Ginny turned to the dark haired woman, startled that she recognized the voice. "Tonks?" "Didn't recognize her without her hair being some odd color, eh?" Lupin smiled. "Oh, shut it." Tonks rolled her eyes. "How are you, Ginny?" "Good!" Coming to grips with the real identity of the woman standing before her, she suddenly began to recognize similarities. The slender, athletic form was the same, as was the heart-shaped face, but the features looked softer and more distinctly feminine than she remembered. Gone was that slightly rough-and-tumble tomboyish exterior that she had come to associate with her favorite female Auror. "I'm so sorry I didn't recognize you…you just look so…so…different. Are you under cover or something?" Ginny immediately regretted the comment when her friend looked decidedly embarrassed. "No, actually, I'm not under cover. This is my…uhm…my natural state." "Your what?" "That's what she was born looking like," Lupin supplied helpfully. "Oh." "Plain, isn't it?" Tonks sighed. "Remus's fault. I lost a bet and this was my punishment. I have to wander around like this until the end of the week and I'm already bored out of my skull." "No, it's not plain at all." Ginny's mind suddenly lit on how to describe her friend's appearance. "I just imagine that you look more like a ‘Nymphadora' than a ‘Tonks' now." At this, Lupin let out a brief chuckle. "That's precisely what I told her. I think we should start calling her Nymph and see if it catches on." "Don't you dare." Tonks shot him a clear warning look before turning her attention back on Ginny. "Every time he does it I'm looking around for my mother as she's the only one who insists on calling me that. Utter nightmare is what it is." "So where are you off to now, Ginny?" Lupin asked. "Lunch, sir." "Ah. Lunch. Fancy that." Tonks gazed up at him from under her lashes, smirking slightly. "Oh all right." He let out a resigned sigh. "Just let me put these in the room and we'll go." "Finally!" "I'll just be a moment, Ginny." She watched as Lupin snatched up the paper bags that had been lying at his feet and disappeared into the DA room. The moment the door clicked shut behind him, Tonks grabbed her arm and pulled her a few feet down the hall. "How is Harry?" Her voice was pitched low so as not to be overheard and Ginny took that as a cue to do the same. "Seemingly normal," she whispered. "He doesn't talk to me as much as Ron or Hermione so you might want to ask one of them. Why? What's going on?" "It-it's nothing." Tonks looked as though she were struggling with a thought. "Look, if I tell you something in confidence, you have to promise me that it really doesn't go beyond you." Ginny's heart leapt to her throat in anticipation. "Of course." "To be honest, I'm worried about Remus." Her brows furrowed slightly. "He hasn't taken Sirius's death very well at all, but you know his type-so quiet and brooding. I think he gets away with wallowing in his depression because he's normally so reserved that most people can't tell the difference. Ever since the start of the summer he's done nothing but go from home to work and back. He hasn't set foot in Grimmauld Place since…well…since that night. Today is the first day I've been able to coerce him out to Hogsmeade for lunch and that alone was a battle. I think it'd help if he and Harry spoke to each other about it but I don't think they really have." Ginny looked confused. "Have you mentioned this to Harry?" "No, I haven't. We're not really that close and I wouldn't know how to approach him. I also don't want him thinking he's just doing this for Remus's benefit. I think working things through together will help Harry too. I was hoping you'd suggest it to him." "Oh no, Harry and I aren't that close either." "Don't be absurd. You two were thick as thieves this summer." "Yes, but not for the important stuff. This is really the sort of thing for Ron or Hermione." "Now Ginny, you know that I love Ron but as a fellow bungler, we can recognize our own. I know he would just mess it up somehow. As for Hermione, she just has such a tendency to over-think things…" Her voice trailed off and she darted a glance at the door. "Listen, I'll talk to you more about this later. You might get something from me via owl some time in the next few weeks. Keep an eye out for it." Lupin emerged then, empty-handed and clearly noting the distance the women had traveled but choosing not to mention it. "Ready then?" "I was born ready," Tonks responded cheekily. "I've just been stuck waiting for you all my life." The smile that broke over his face was reluctant, if genuine. "Well, as I'm conveniently here now, perhaps we should be off." He turned to his former student, "It was nice seeing you Ginny. Do feel free to stop by more often. I'm usually here for a few hours after class, planning out our next lesson and I don't mind some company every now and then." "Of course, sir. I'll definitely come by." She made an immediate mental note to do so. Even if she couldn't bring herself to get Harry to talk to him, that wasn't going to prevent her from doing her part. Having just spoken to Tonks about it, his sadness seemed so much more pronounced to her now. The shadows around his eyes looked much deeper than they did before and it caused her chest to ache painfully. Never one for heartfelt good-byes, Tonks started hauling Lupin down the hall by their linked arms. "Nice talking to you, Gin. I'll see you around." Waving, Ginny watched the couple until they disappeared down the stairs. It was a bit bewildering how, every time her life entered a normal routine, something would happen to jolt her back to all that they had lost. Her argument with Harry seemed relatively insignificant next to the emotional turmoil Lupin was experiencing and Ginny felt ashamed at her lingering anger. Voldemort had damaged a lot of people that night at the Ministry and she wasn't sure how long it would take them all to realize the extent of that damage. More importantly, she didn't know how long it would take them all to heal. ~*~ Despite the rocky start early on, the novelty of attending her first official Quidditch practice of the season as a legitimate first-string player overtook Ginny's mild depression and buoyed her mood enormously throughout the day. By the time she was walking out of the girls' dressing room clad in full uniform, she felt a rush of excitement that lifted her spirits even more. "Ginny!" She looked up and saw her brother hovering in front of the goal posts, waving down at her, just as the Quaffle went sailing in behind his back. "Weasley!" Katie screeched so loudly that they both jumped. "What have I told you about focus? How are you supposed to block anything if you're looking around like a buggering fool? I didn't put you on this team to meet and greet everyone who walks under your nose." Ron turned towards her, surprise written on his face. "What?" "Are you daft, Weasley? A goal. You do remember what those are, don't you? Those are the things you're trying to prevent." When Katie proceed to launch into a particularly condescending description of what a Quaffle looked like, Ginny thought it best to get into the air before she called attention to herself. Kicking up to join the others, she settled her broom next to her fellow Chaser, Dean Thomas. He was watching Ron's predicament with a look of mischievous pleasure but broke off long enough to send her a wicked grin. "That was for all those times his stupid alarm woke us up at some ungodly hour while he slept through it." She chuckled to herself. "Poor Ron." "Ah, she'll peter out eventually." Turning his attention fully to her, he swiveled his broom around. "Smart team we have here, don't you think?" "Oh absolutely! I admit I'm a bit nervous, though." "You?" A note of incredulity entered his voice. "What do you mean? You're a bloody veteran – a Quidditch pro." "Hardly." "Oh, so it must have been that other Ginny Weasley who won us the Quidditch Cup last year." She blushed. "It was a team effort and a lucky break that Cho didn't get to the Snitch first." "Oh please, you flew circles around Cho ruddy Chang." He made a derisive sound deep in his throat. "Brilliant performance, that day. Utterly fearless." "Oh, Dean, that's sweet of you to say…" He darted her a look and pitched his voice lower. "I'm glad you and I made Chaser, Gin. I couldn't have asked for a better partner." "Well, thank you." She smiled at him warmly. "Screams like a banshee, our Katie does." Startled, Ginny looked up as Harry descended upon them from above. They moved over to give him room. "Is she always like this?" Dean asked. "Yes, unless she's in a bad mood." Harry threw Ginny a cheeky grin. "You needn't be nervous, Gin. You'll do splendidly." Her heart did an irritating back flip in her chest and she forced a smile. "Thanks, Harry." "Besides, you're already her favorite Weasley." As if sensing she was being discussed, Katie abruptly reared on the trio. "What is this? A bleeding social? I turn around for five minutes and suddenly everyone's on break? Thomas, since you're so eager to take advantage of your teammate's distraction you can go retrieve that Quaffle. I want you and Ginny practicing break-neck point passes up the corridor. Potter, go find those Beaters and bring the Snitch back with you from the trunk." Dean came back with the Quaffle at roughly the same time the two new Beaters, fourth year Amir Khan and third year Chelsea Hammond, finally appeared. Ginny and Chelsea exchanged smiles. Though she didn't know her very well, Ginny felt an instant bond with the only other new female player on the team. She had long heard the nasty comments other students made about Chelsea's rather brawny physique and hoped that they would stop now that her build was one of Gryffindor's greatest assets. "Okay ladies and gents, let's get to it." Katie's whistle let out an ear-splitting noise and everyone jumped to attention. From that point on, Ginny was kept exceedingly busy with assorted drills and exercises. The only occasional distractions were the mindless bits of advice Harry kept giving her ("If you balance the Quaffle on the broom handle and crouch over it, there's less air resistance.") and Ron's occasional teasing as she flew past him. She quickly realized that Harry had been right; Katie ran a much more grueling practice than Angelina ever had. However, she also noted that their new Quidditch captain was a fair and thoughtful leader. The few times she lost her temper, Ginny felt she was rather justified. Katie was also decidedly nicer to the girls than the boys. Ginny reckoned it might have something to do with the fact that the girls on the team concentrated their efforts completing their tasks accurately instead of wasting time contradicting the initial order. Nonetheless, it was a minor relief when she heard the sound of the shrill sound of the whistle ending practice. As though pre-programmed for it, the players automatically stopped what they were doing and flew over to where Katie was hovering, clipboard in hand. "Okay. I think that's enough for our first day." She was scribbling notes. "Tomorrow we'll be focusing on Beater and Chaser combined exercises. Ginny, I want you to pair up with Khan. Thomas is with Hammond and I'll rotate between the pairs. Potter, I need you to be at least three seconds faster on the Sigmund Dash by the time we play Ravenclaw next month. A bit less chitchat and a bit more concentration might do the trick." Harry's ears reddened and he scowled at her. Katie ignored him. "Weasley, good job overall." Ron looked pleased. "Just be sure to keep your head out of your arse so you can see where you're going." His face fell. "Don't worry, Ron." Ginny patted his arm gently while trying to look sympathetic. "It started out like a compliment, which is…well…an improvement." He glared at her but her brown eyes sparkled back with such good cheer that he gave up on the pretense of being angry and simply grinned. "You going to dinner?" "Indeed, I am, but I'd like to change first. Wait for me?" "Of course we will," a voice said from behind. "We wouldn't leave without you anyway." She turned to see Harry hovering there and, despite herself, felt her heart soften. "Thanks, I won't be long." He simply nodded and she quickly took off towards the dressing room. Maybe he was putting in an effort after all. ** As dinner was the first time the Gryffindors had reconvened as a full group since Harry and Ginny's fight the evening beforehand, it proved an awkward affair, especially when Neville sat down. He was clearly trying to slide into a seat next to Ginny at the end of the table without being noticed, but that plan was foiled by Hermione. "Hi Neville," she said in an unnaturally loud voice. Harry started slightly and looked up from his food, his cheeks slightly flushed. "Neville…hey." Never one for confrontation, Neville looked about to respond but surprised Ginny when his eyes flickered to hers instead. Realizing the unspoken question, she nodded slightly, causing his round face to break into a smile. "Hi Harry," he said cheerfully before tucking in to the platter of potatoes in front of him. Ginny hid a grin behind her napkin. Boys. Apologies. So simple and free of dramatics. She envied them sometimes. "Brilliant job this morning in Defense Against The Dark Arts, by the way," Harry continued. Neville simply ducked his head in embarrassment. "Aw, it wasn't much." "What happened?" she asked, instantly intrigued. "Neville here accomplished his first fully formed Patronus," Harry said proudly. "In front of a Boggart, no less," Ron chimed in. "Really?" Ginny recalled having practiced Patronuses with the D.A. but managed to keep the slight sting she felt out of her voice. "No, they're making it sound better than it was. It didn't even last more than a few seconds." Neville looked very much like he wanted someone to change the topic of conversation. "Mr. Firenze certainly thought it was something," Ron said. "He gave Gryffindor twenty points right afterwards." "That's fantastic!" Ginny smiled, relieved to again have a fair and trustworthy Defense Against The Dark Arts professor. She reckoned it would be nearly impossible for anyone else to handle the responsibility of teaching that course while simultaneously holding a joint instructorship with Professor Trelawney in Divination, but the Centaur made it look easy. In her mind, he was the next best thing to having Professor Lupin back. "What shape did the Patronus take?" The boys looked vaguely uncomfortable. Neville coughed. "Well…see….it was there so briefly…" "Yes, and it was moving so fast that it was hard to make out the specific shape," Harry finished. "Looked like a chicken, to me," Ron said brightly. "Ow!" He rubbed the spot on his arm where Hermione had smacked him without even looking up from her book. "Yes, well, it was clearly some sort of-of…erm…bird. Larger than a chicken. Maybe a...a turkey?" Harry cleared his throat. "Definitely a winged creature. Very vicious looking, actually." "Perhaps it was a rabid turkey," Ron blurted out. He flinched instantly thereafter as Hermione raised her hand again, but it was just to turn the page. Neville's face was so close to his plate that his nose was almost touching his food. "Ah." Ginny couldn't quite come up with anything appropriate to say that would prevent her from laughing so she chose to simply return to her meal. After relaying the story for Luna's benefit during their post-dinner walk around the Herbology greenhouses, Ginny almost did laugh. Upon its completion, Luna turned to Neville with a look of grave seriousness and wisdom in her pale blue eyes. "The turkey is one of the animal kingdom's most noble creatures so you should never be ashamed of it. I should wish to some day be lucky enough to have a turkey as my Patronus." Had the words come from anyone else, they would have sounded facetious, but Ginny knew Luna was wholeheartedly sincere and something about that made her affection for her friends swell even more. She could scarcely believe she had ever considered them inferior to her brother and his friends. While it was true that the Three Musketeers had a good deal more notoriety than she, Luna and Neville did, they weren't entirely perfect. For one thing, they certainly bickered a lot more than her immediate circle did. They also were in detention a good deal more often. Perhaps, instead of being lesser, Ginny and her friends were just different. And, she reckoned, if one really wanted to get technical about it, they were also just a tad better. ~*~ It was much later that evening, as she was sitting in the library doing homework, that the euphoria of Quidditch practice and dinner finally faded into a thoughtful silence. That was when Ginny truly felt the weight of her conversation with Tonks. Though she tried to concentrate on her Arithmancy homework, the vision of Professor Lupin's sad, dark eyes kept breaking in between the numbers. She glanced around at her companions who all seemed to be thoroughly engrossed in their respective assignments. Although Ginny wasn't quite sure what Neville was doing, it looked important. Hermione and Ron were working on Charms homework. Harry appeared to have a Potions essay. Luna was reading the new issue of The Quibbler, her lips moving silently as her pale blue eyes glided across the page. She squirmed slightly as her chair seemed to dig uncomfortably into her back and the sound of Neville's quill scratching against the tabletop started to drive her mad. Finally giving in to the need to stand, she grabbed the list of books she planned on checking out for her Muggle Studies essay, wordlessly pushed away from the table and made for the stacks. She was just pulling the first book out from a shelf when she realized she wasn't alone. "Hey Gin." Unsure of why he'd followed her, she forced herself to only spare him a glance before consulting her list of books again. "Harry, hi." There was a brief period of silence as she stared at the sheet of parchment, waiting for him to talk. Once it became clear that he was content to just stand there, she gave up and started heading down the aisle for the next book. He followed at her heels. " Hey, Gin, I-I was sort of wondering…" Oh Merlin, he was going to ask her for a favor. "Yes, Harry?" Oddly frustrated, the prompt came out harsher than she'd intended. "Uhm. I was wondering if you were okay. You seemed sort of distracted back there." "Oh did I?" For a few seconds she was concerned that he hadn't actually just said what he'd said and that she'd simply wished it so vividly that it sounded real. Harry? Closed, confusing Harry inquiring after her emotional well-being? She cocked her head, regarding him in a new light. "Well, I'm fine, actually. Thank you." He looked distinctly unconvinced. "You're sure?" "Yes, I am." She forced a smile. "Honest." The urge to confess it all to him then, to pour her heart out about how scared she was about Professor Lupin and how much she missed Sirius, was almost overwhelming. But still, she held back. She knew from past experience (the events surrounding her father's snake attack coming most prominently to mind) that Harry shut down when provoked. She didn't want to risk that just yet. "Listen, if it's about last night…" Suddenly it became blindingly clear what he was on about and the wonder she'd been feeling seconds before faded. He thought she was still angry with him. She started to feel very, very tired. "No, no, it has nothing to do with that." "Oh." He looked relieved. "Okay." She nodded at him encouragingly and turned back to her list, unwilling to watch him depart now that he was safe in the knowledge that he was not the cause of her distraction. "Then…then what is it about?" Her head snapped up again in surprise. He suddenly looked embarrassed, as if realizing that he may have overstepped his welcome. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want…" Ginny knew an opportunity when she heard one and almost instinctively plunged forward, preventing his attempt to close off again. "Well, it's just that I bumped into Professor Lupin today outside of the DA room." Harry's eyes widened. "Listen, Ginny, like I said this morning, I'm really sorry." She shook her head swiftly, cutting off the rest of his apology. "No, again, it's not about that. I just hadn't seen him in at least two months and… Harry, does he look especially sad to you?" At the way his gaze slid from her eyes to the floor, she knew the answer to her question. "I-I don't know." "Well, he does to me. Tonks said she's worried about him. She says that he's been different ever since… well, ever since what happened to Sirius." Despite not being able to admit that he died, Ginny was pleased with herself for having forced the name out without flinching. "Ah." The sound was vague. Uncomfortable. Unfortunately, having already got this far, she wasn't about to back down. "It's just that ever since then, I've been thinking. I've been thinking about you, and Neville, and Hermione and Ron and…" Her breath hitched slightly in her throat. "And I just can't imagine what it would be like if-if you all were gone and I was the only one left. Do you ever think about things like that?" As she had expected, he didn't respond. So, she forged on. "And then I just got to thinking about this morning and how angry I was with you and how stupid it is because…well…because it just doesn't matter." "It wasn't stupid," he cut in suddenly, his voice sounding thicker than normal. "You were right to be angry at me-" "No, Harry. I know that I was right to be angry, but that's not what I mean." She took a deep breath, so terrified that he'd walk away from her that she was speaking twice as fast as normal. "What I'm trying to say is…in life, stuff like that shouldn't matter because you just never know, do you? I mean, aside from this thing with you, I've been thinking about how none of us have spoken to Percy in months because of the way he's been acting. It's like we're right to be angry with him for being a prat and for making Mum cry but he's still my brother, and I still love him, you know? I just…what with Voldemort back now and all…I just don't want the last thing I remember of him to be the fact that we were in a fight." The lump in her throat caused her voice to break slightly over the last word, but she didn't think he'd noticed. For, no sooner had she finished her sentence, than he was reaching forward and drawing her against him in a fierce hug. She was shocked at first by the unexpected contact, but quickly relaxed into his arms, her cheek pressed tightly against his chest and her arms pinned down to her sides by his vice-like grip. This was nothing like the joyous embrace he'd given her after the Quidditch game when he'd bounced her around in circles and she'd felt as though she were still flying. This hug was made for stillness and quiet. Nevertheless, it still caused her heart to race so she was somewhat relieved when he released her in response to her next question. "What was that?" He stepped back and looked down at her quizzically as his robes had muffled her words the first time. "I said, would you be willing to talk to him about it?" "To Percy?" "No, to Professor Lupin." Harry paused. "I-I don't know. I don't think I could help. Maybe he could talk to Dumbledore." "No, Harry, it's not the same. You know it's not the same. He was one of Sirius's best friends and you're his godson. Nobody else really knows him the way the both of you did. No one else who's left, I mean." Unable to meet his eyes, she stared at where his hand had come to rest on the shelf next to him. He was gripping it so hard that his knuckles were white from the effort. "Besides." She used her last bit of courage. "I think it might help you, as well. To talk it through with him…" He looked at her suddenly, his dark green eyes curious. "This really bothers you, doesn't it?" She stared back, slightly startled. "What?" "The fact that Professor Lupin is sad…it really bothers you, doesn't it?" "Well, yes." She didn't bother to mask her confusion. "Of course it does. It bothers me and it's been bothering Tonks too. No one likes to see their friends sad, Harry." "Fine, then," he said abruptly. "What?" "Fine then, I'll think about it." "Really?" It was more than she had hoped for. "Yes." She smiled at him. "Thank you." He shrugged, clearly out of sorts at her beaming expression. "It's nothing." But they both knew that, when it came to Harry, it certainly wasn't nothing. He looked away. "I should get back to work, I s'pose, unless you need help finding books?" "No, I think I can mange." She was a bit relieved he was going back to the table, as it would give her a chance to wipe the ridiculous grin off of her face and she knew she'd never be able to manage it in his presence. It would also give her time to beat down the impending Harry fantasy that was fluttering on the edge of her consciousness. "Okay then. Let me know if you change your mind." And with that, he turned and walked back down the aisle. Once he had turned the corner, she leaned against the stacks and sighed. It was hard living with the knowledge that, no matter what she did to compose herself, in the end it didn't really matter. Someplace deep inside, Ginny knew that whenever he left he would always be taking her heart with him.
|