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Author: Lady Chi Story: With All My Love Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 3 Words: 60,540
The Great Hall was always quiet in the early morning just after the sun rose, and after all the trauma of the past week, Sirius found that even he needed some quiet. He padded down the dormitory stairs, whispered a cheerful but subdued “good morning” to the Fat Lady, opened the portrait door and headed in the direction of breakfast with a good book in hand. He rarely ever read for fun — at least, not in the way that Remus did. He enjoyed reading, but he didn’t take the time to dissect the words or ponder the author’s intent. When he sat down with a book, he made a journey to another world, sometimes to one full of pirates and daring adventures, and other times, to a world where there was true safety. A family, a home, values that remained the same. Cracking open the first page of the novel before he’d even reached the Great Hall, Sirius found a spot on the opposite end of his normal seat, far away from the prominent spot at the front of the table that he usually shared with his friends and the rest of the Gryffindor seventh-year students. “Knobby would be wondering if you would like something to eat, Mr. Sirius Black, sir?” The strange voice made Sirius jump slightly. Then he relaxed. He knew this house-elf from the late-night runs he and James often made to the kitchens. “No, that’s okay, Knobby. I can wait for everyone else.” “Fine, sir. Knobby will just be leaving you some bread and cheese and apples then, sir. Just like you asked.” Before Sirius could say anything in reply, the house-elf had disappeared with his characteristic “POP”. Sirius shook his head at the bowl of food that had appeared next to his right elbow. He wasn’t hungry. He hadn’t been hungry for a long time, but he didn’t think he looked that bad. Perhaps he should grab something, anyway. “Sirius?” The shocked voice behind him was instantly recognizable. “What are you doing here? You’re notorious for sleeping in.” “No.” Sirius shook his head and snorted, taking a bite of a piece of bread he wasn’t really interested in before responding. “I’m notorious for not appearing in the Great Hall until I’m good and ready to. I don’t sleep in.” “I’m sorry I said anything,” Regulus said, and turned on his heel to walk away. “Wait.” Sirius cursed low underneath of his breath. “I’m… Anyway, what are you doing down here?” “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m studying for a Transfiguration test.” Sirius laughed. “Some studying. Looks to me as though you’re trying to pick a fight. Then again, some last-minute studying is probably just what you need. You never were any good at Transfiguration.” He turned quickly to his book, silently willing his brother to say something or go away. “All right,” Regulus said, and turned around as well. After a moment, he whirled around, as though he had just rallied all of his courage. “Sirius? “Yes, Regulus?” Sirius couldn’t bring himself to turn around. “It wouldn’t be that hard to come back, you know. You could come home with me this Christmas.” “And spend my holiday weekend being poked and prodded by old hags with nothing better to do than try and plan my life and tell me what to think? I’d rather be hexed with a Impotence Jinx.” “Well, if you won’t come home for the holiday, then you should at least apologize.” Sirius’s face twisted with indignation. “Apologize?” “Yes. Apologize.” “What do you know about it?” Sirius asked and stood to his full height, towering over his younger brother. “Mister Golden Child? You’ve always let Mummy and Daddy think for you,” Sirius mocked, “and now is no exception. Are you even allowed to talk to me, Regulus? Do you know why I left?” “Mum said that you left because you were an insufferable brat.” “Yes, well, you always were one to listen to Mummy. Yes, always listening, always obeying. Never thinking.” “I think about lots of stuff!” “Like what? Like why Mum and Dad are so vocal about supporting this Dark Lord in his campaign against Muggles and they never do anything about it? Did you think about that?” “Our family doesn’t support violence to further our ideas.” “Who fed you that load of owl dung? Dad, I imagine. Listen, the Blacks have never had any problems using violence to get what we want… ever.” “Then how come Mum said we were such pacifists during the war against Grindlewald?” “For the same reason that you won’t see Mum and Dad joining the Death Eaters any time soon, smart boy.” “And what’s that?” “They’re cowards. Mum and Dad are cowards. Voldemort hasn’t got a snowball’s chance in a dragon’s belly against Dumbledore, and they know it.” “What?” “It’s not about ideals or ideas or politics, Regulus. It’s about money and power. Who’s in power controls the money, and the Blacks have always had the money, because we’ve always been on the side that holds that power. The true power.” “You’re lying! Mum and Dad would…” “Would what, Regulus? Die for their beliefs? If you think that, you’ve got another thing coming. They’d certainly kill for them; they’d kill for less.” “You’re lying out of your mouth! This is Mum and Dad we’re talking about!” Regulus’s mouth had dropped. “Yes, and just because Mum carried you around underneath her heart and gave birth to you doesn’t mean she’s a saint. If you believe Dad’s worth the time it would take to cast the Killing Curse on him… well, then, you’re sadly mistaken.” Sirius started to pace in obvious agitation. This was not a conversation he’d wanted to have in the Great Hall, of all places, where anyone could overhear them, where anyone could misinterpret him. “Are you saying you want to kill Mum and Dad?” Sirius sighed. Obviously Regulus wasn’t living in the same world as he was. “I’m not saying that. I wouldn’t ever say that. I’m just saying that what you’re perceiving as reality is nowhere close to the truth.” “But you would, wouldn’t you? You’d kill Mum and Dad. You hate them!” Sirius’s grin turned fouler and he let out a low chuckle. “No, I moved past hate a long time ago, Regulus. I don’t feel anything at all towards them. As far as I’m concerned, they don’t exist.” “Yes, they do. You’re lying this time. If they really don’t exist, how come you’re still walking around with the Black name?” “Has Dad been yelling about that? Well, I won’t give that up. I’ll be Sirius Black until the day I die. I determined to be the one to bring the name honor. The only one in centuries to do so.” “If you weren’t such a Mudblood-lover, you’d see what you’re saying!” Regulus shouted. “Mudblood-lover?” Sirius’s voice dropped dangerously low. “That’s a pretty disgusting thing to call someone, Regulus. I, for one, don’t know anyone I’d call a Mudblood.” “Lily Evans,” Regulus shot back. “If you’re calling her a Mudblood…” Sirius’s eyebrows drew together. “You admit it, then!” Regulus nearly crowed in triumph. “You admit that you think the Mudbloods deserve an equal place in wizarding society!” Sirius smiled. “Yes, I’m admitting that. There’s no shame in that. I’d go as far as to say even the Muggle-borns are our equals.” “The Muggles are the source of most of our troubles, Sirius. They’re inferior. Magically, intellectually, physically… in any way you can think of.” “Says who? Merlin, Regulus, use your brain for a change! Simon Dartmus, one of the greatest Chasers of all time, came from two Muggle parents; so don’t say that the Muggles are our inferiors in the sports arenas. Yano Creatus, the man who invented the first Dungbomb was a Mudblood, so don’t tell me that they’re inferior mentally. And Albus Dumbledore was the child of a wizard and a Muggle woman, and you can’t deny that he’s one of the most powerful wizards around. Magically, they’re no different from us, either.” “Yes, but obviously magic is an inherited trait! Children are more likely to be magical if their parents are too! Imagine what we would could do…” “Wait a minute,” Sirius waved an arm. “You’re sounding dangerously like someone else. Ever heard of Hitler? You can’t breed humans like you can breed owls, Regulus.” Regulus snorted. “No, you can’t. But if the wizarding society is going to continue…” “It can do so on its own! Merlin, Regulus! You’re talking about outlawing marriages. Outlawing! That’s not just discouraging, man! That’s banning. And banning, as anyone who’s ever studied history can tell you, doesn’t work! Why? Because humans are instinctively drawn to things they’re not supposed to do! By solving this so called ‘problem’ of Muggles and wizards intermarrying and breeding, you’re actually creating a bigger problem for yourselves!” “But Sirius, you’ve seen what the Muggles have done with their technology! We’ve got to be able to do something in order to ensure that our society will continue!” Sirius sighed. He’d heard this argument from several people when he’d first begun to question the pure-blood philosophy being shoved down his throat, and he used the same counter-argument that had been used against him. “Yes, and the same families marrying each other over and over again will help us remain strong! Look at the royal families of Europe, Regulus. Look at how much that philosophy has done for them!” While Sirius wasn’t an avid reader of history, he had at least researched that much. “Yes, but they’re still in power!” “Yes, in England, but not in very many of the other countries. Look, Regulus, to promote a philosophy like that… you’re promoting ignorance. You’re encouraging wizards and Muggles to know nothing about each other.” “Well, why not? What harm has it done in the past?” “Um… the Witch Trials come to mind. Yes, they were a joke when they were happening, but think about what their technology can do now. You made that point earlier, you must know something about it. If the Muggles came after the wizarding society today, would it survive? The only way that paranoid people like you can attain any sort of security is by working with those Muggles who do have connections with us.” Unnoticed by either one of the boys, Peter sneaked down and into the Great Hall and was now watching the argument carefully. His eyes drifted from Sirius’s passionate face and waving arms to Regulus’s panicked face and recited arguments. “What’s going on?” The voice behind Peter made him jump. “Oh. Hello, Remus. Regulus made the mistake of trying to talk to Sirius.” “Looks like their discussion has turned rather heated.” Peter shrugged. “Yes, but were you really suspecting something different would happen? There’s still a lot of bad blood there.” Remus raised an eyebrow. “Bad pun, Peter.” “I know,” he whispered, as the argument got louder and more violent. “Do you think we should jump in there and break it up? I mean, people are going to be getting here soon. I don’t know if Sirius wants to have to endure all that attention as well as his brother.” “Think, you ignorant arse!” Sirius’s voice rang across the Hall. “That’s all I ever asked you to do. Think for yourself.” “Sirius!” A voice from across the Hall stopped him short. “Don’t you think that’s enough for today?” James walked across the room, shoving a hand through his hair. “You two can’t fight a war between yourselves. And besides, you’re ruining breakfast for everyone else.” “James, you should have heard some of the things he was saying.” “His ignorance is not our responsibility,” Remus interjected. “It’s certainly not yours anymore, Sirius.” Peter nodded. “Let’s just sit down and have some breakfast. I’m starving.” “Nothing like a shouting match between brothers to wake you up in the morning,” Remus commented dryly as he made his way toward his traditional seat. “Eh, Sirius… you going to join us over here?” Sirius looked over at his brother, who was retreating towards the security of the traditional Slytherin table. “Yes, I think I will.” As the Marauders settled down for breakfast, passing food and making crude jokes as was their custom, Sirius began to relax slowly. Any time a melancholy or regretful thought would cross his mind, he would shake his head firmly to get rid of it. Now he was with friends. The past was behind him and all seemed well in the world. When Lily finally came down to breakfast, Sirius breathed a sigh of relief. Now everything was right. James was sitting with Lily. Remus was arguing a bit of Arthimancy theory with Lily’s friend Meg, and Peter was sharing jokes with some younger years who looked up to the Marauders. Yes, everything was just right. Here there was no war. There was no ignorance or intolerance. What, Sirius wondered, was he going to do if he ever lost any of this? “Sirius, come back to Earth! I need to ask you question.” Sirius turned and faced Peter. “All right.” He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, and he begged any gods who were listening to him at that moment to stop Peter from asking him about Regulus. He just couldn’t tolerate it at the moment. “Okay, so how many Slytherins does it take to cast a lighting charm?” Sirius almost burst into laughter, he was so relieved. Instead, since he was so filled with good cheer, he let Peter have the punch line. “How many?” “Four. One to have the idea, one to act as a go-between for the charm caster and the person with the idea, one to watch for Muggles while they cast the Charm, and one to pay a Gryffindor to do it!” The entire table laughed. Yes. This was Hogwarts. This was home. And this was unreachable, impregnable, and safe. ** Leave me a review. Let me know what you thought. All comments are appreciated, and most will be responded to. Thanks for reading!
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