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Author: Bella Story: Following the Natural Curve: Part One Rating: Teens Setting: Pre-HBP Status: Completed Reviews: 22 Words: 59,310
Lily panicked a bit the following Monday when she received an owl at breakfast. Her father had just owled her the previous day, and since she never got any mail except from her parents, she thought it had to be from a teacher – which was never good. It wasn't, however. It proved to be a short note, a bit shorter than the note she had gotten from James Potter, written in a neat but urgent hand. It read: Go to the common room tonight at one o'clock. If you follow the person that sneaks out, you'll find something dangerously important. Lily flipped the note over, looking for a clue as to who had sent it and why. The owl was an inconspicuous school owl, so that didn't tell her anything. She reread the note. Go to the common room at one o'clock tonight and follow someone? Prank was the first thought that jumped into her head. A stunt pulled by James – well, no, probably not James, but maybe Sirius – to lure her out of Gryffindor Tower and douse her with water or something in revenge? She stared at the note again, willing it to give her another clue. She decided, however, that going down to the common room at one wouldn't hurt – so long as she wasn't seen. She was a Gryffindor, for God's sake – there was no harm in looking. So, she crept down to the common room that night after Gwen, Dorcas, and Mary Katherine had gone to bed, and hid herself behind one of the scarlet curtains framing the large windows. From her position, she had a clear view of the portrait hole, and the dying embers in the fireplace were enough light for her to see – but not be seen. The clock was chiming one when a dark shape appeared before the fire. It was a person in a black robe…with a hood? The person, whose face was hidden, looked around the common room and, evidently seeing nothing, threw back the hood. Lily had to stifle a gasp. It was Dorcas, her light blond hair glimmering in the firelight, face paler than usual. Her hands were shaking slightly as she pressed them to her cheeks. She looked up at the grandfather clock (which was uncomfortably close to Lily's hiding place) and took a deep breath before flipping her hood up over her hair and moving towards the portrait hole. Lily's heart was pounding as she counted slowly to ten after the portrait hole had closed and crept out from behind the curtain, moving stealthily towards it. She was feeling very short of breath, hundreds of possible theories running through her head as to why Dorcas was sneaking out of Gryffindor at one o'clock in a hood. But the more she tried to convince herself that it was probably a midnight rendezvous with her Ravenclaw boyfriend, the more she didn't believe it. She could see the words from the letter whenever she closed her eyes, as if they were burned on her eyelids – If you follow the person that sneaks out, you'll find something dangerously important. She located the dark shadow that was Dorcas easily – she was running through the middle of the corridor – and followed her down three floors and through all sorts of passages Lily had never seen before. Dorcas finally came to a stop in front of a mirror and went forward to it. She said a password that Lily didn't catch and the mirror slid to the side, revealing a hole large enough for someone to fit through. Lily walked forward from her place against the wall in the shadows – and was jerked violently back again by invisible hands. She opened her mouth to shriek, but one of those hands found its way to her mouth before she could make any noise at all. As she struggled, she heard the whisper of fabric behind her, was pulled back onto something warm – a human chest? – and suddenly there was a blanket over her head. It was silvery and she noticed absently that it felt like cool water against her skin before realizing that the hand holding her mouth wasn't invisible anymore. She whirled around and almost shrieked again. It was none other that James Potter, pressing his free hand to his lips. He leaned down and said in her ear, so quietly she almost missed it, "Don't say a word." She nodded, her eyes wide, and he released her, gently moving her so she was standing next to him underneath that cloak. Though it felt like an hour, it really had been only a few seconds since Dorcas had disappeared behind the mirror and James jerked Lily backwards. She saw why he had done it now – more cloaked people were emerging out of the shadows. She knew instinctively that what the people were doing here was dangerous and probably wrong, and she wondered why James thought a flimsy cloak could protect them from their eyes. And then it hit her. James Potter had an Invisibility Cloak. Well, that certainly explained a lot. As she stood motionlessly beside him, watching as more people arrived and said the password to the mirror, she thought about all the pranks James had performed without being caught. He was never caught, and now she knew why. After a bit, the people seemed to be thinning out, and after two shorter cloaked people went into the mirror, ten minutes went by without the two seeing anyone. James motioned at Lily to follow him and they crept down the wall and ducked into the nearest classroom. He shut the door very carefully as Lily untangled herself from the cloak and stepped out of it. She lit her wand and looked down at the part of her hand that held a bit of the cloak – half her palm and fingers were completely invisible. "How did you get this?" she asked incredulously, turning her invisible hand over. James took the cloak from her and shook it out before carefully folding it. "It's been in the family for ages." "Wow," Lily breathed. She could see by his face that he clearly didn't want to talk about his family at the moment, and so she shook her head to get rid of the thoughts of the Invisibility Cloak. "Did you get a note too, then?" James nodded. "At breakfast, yeah. I decided to see what was going on." Lily, who was still mystified by the events of the night, said, "And just what is going on?" He looked down at her, as if debating whether or not to tell her. He perched on the edge of a desk and ran his fingers through his hair, a familiar gesture, but this time he wasn't concentrating on messing his hair up so it was new to Lily. "A Dark meeting," he said finally. Lily stared at him. "Dark meeting? But – you can't mean…." "Those are the students interested in joining Voldemort when they leave school." Lily's jaw dropped as her numb mind struggled to comprehend what he was saying. "What? But – but Dorcas-" James shook his head in disgust. "Her whole family are Death Eaters. Cousins of the Malfoy's on her father's side. They were all shocked when she made it into Gryffindor and everyone shunned her. I guess this is her chance to prove that even though she's a Gryffindor, she can still be…." "But – but I saw her in the common room," Lily said, her voice trembling, taking a seat on the desk nearest to her. "She – she didn't look like she wanted to go." James sighed. "But she went, didn't she?" Lily looked down at her lap, tears threatening to make an appearance on her cheeks. Dorcas, sweet Dorcas – she wanted to become a – a Death Eater? Work for Lord Voldemort? "Dammit, I wish I could hear what they're saying!" James burst out suddenly, and Lily started and looked up at him. He was pacing now, running his fingers through his hair agitatedly. "What are we going to do?" Lily asked quietly, hoping her voice was steadier than she thought. She pinned her eyes to her lap again, blinking furiously to keep the tears at bay. James thought for a moment, his pacing gradually slowing. "There isn't anything we can do except tell the Headmaster. Did you recognize anyone besides Dorcas?" Lily blushed. She had been too busy marveling at the Invisibility Cloak to try and figure out who the figures were. "No," she said truthfully. "I'll swear on my life that the two big ones were Crabbe and Goyle and the little skinny one with them was Avery." Lily shrugged. "I don't know," she said. When he said nothing, only ran his fingers through his hair again thoughtfully, Lily slid off the desk. "Shouldn't we go before their little meeting breaks up?" James looked up and stared at her, as if seeing her there for the first time. He shook his head to clear it and reached for the folded Invisibility Cloak. "Yeah – yeah, you're right." He disappeared under the cloak and then said, "Coming?" Lily looked dubiously at the spot where James had just vanished. That cloak wasn't huge. Though it was all right for a mad dash to an empty classroom, the thought of going all the way back to Gryffindor Tower in such close proximity to James Potter was a very uncomfortable one. "Erm – isn't it a bit small?" Lily heard a snort from somewhere near her right ear. "If you want to go in plain sight, that's fine with me," he said, and she could almost see his shrug. "Oh, all right, fine," Lily huffed, putting her arms out blindly towards the place she had last heard him speak. He grabbed her from the completely opposite side, scaring her half to death, and pulled her under the cloak. Lily put her light heart and short breath down to the scare she had just received (it definitely was not because he had just touched her) and smacked his arm when she could see him under the cloak. "Ow," he remarked – it would have been casual but for the amusement evident in his tone – and grabbed her lit wand. "Nox," he commanded it, plunging them into semi-darkness before handing it back to its disgruntled owner. Lily pocketed it and crept to the door with James. He stopped and carefully, soundlessly opened the door. Before exiting, however, he turned to Lily. "We're going back a different way – one you'll probably not know – so…." He trailed off uneasily, holding his arm out to her in the moonlight that filtered in through the lone window. Lily hid a smile – James Potter was feeling awkward with a girl! – and took his arm, tactfully thanking him. He waved off her thanks and opened the classroom door just enough for them to creep silently through. He turned right, back the way they came, past the sinister-looking mirror – behind which only God knew what was being discussed – and, instead of heading up the stairs, towed Lily past them, tickling a door on their right. They wound their way through so many odd, old corridors and passageways that Lily lost count, coming finally to a halt before a round hole with steps leading up to it, a mini-portrait hole, and James pushed Lily through it. She dropped three feet to the ground on the other side and found to her astonishment that on her left, not two feet away, was the portrait of the Fat Lady and the entrance to Gryffindor Tower. It had taken five minutes to get back this way, if that! She heard James drop down behind her and she turned to him in amazement. "How did you find that?" He shrugged mysteriously, the faintest glimmer of a smile on his lips, and turned to the snoring Fat Lady. He had to yell the password several times before she jerked awake and swung forward, muttering very rich obscenities under her breath for a two-hundred-year-old portrait, and Lily and James climbed through. They stood awkwardly together in the common room, Lily pretending to fix her robes as James shook out the Invisibility Cloak. "So – I suppose we'll go see Dumbledore tomorrow?" Lily looked up and nodded. "I suppose so," she said. "But when…?" "It'll probably have to be first thing in the morning," James said, glancing at the clock. "He'll want to know right away." "All right, so at breakfast, then?" James cleared his throat. "Actually, I know the password to his office, so…." Lily worked hard to conceal her surprise. "You know the password to his office?" she repeated, eyes wide. "He and my dad are – were – good friends," James explained. His voice hitched slightly at the "were", and for one heart-stopping moment, Lily thought he was going to break down. "I – I see," she stammered, and without knowing exactly what she was doing, reached out her right hand and put it on his left, the one that wasn't holding the cloak. Her hand looked small and white against his still-tanned skin. She squeezed gently. "I suppose I'll meet you here tomorrow morning, then." James nodded wordlessly, glasses glinting in the firelight, and Lily turned to go, walking towards the girls' stairs. He stopped her before she could climb them. "Lily?" She turned around to look at him. "Yeah?" "I think Gryffindor has a fantastic shot at winning the Cup." His back was to the fire and so his face was covered in shadow, but she knew he was smiling. ~*~*~*~* "So you've never been here before?" Lily shook her head wordlessly, eyes glued to the gargoyle that was turning slowly, revealing a hole that was becoming progressively bigger. She was extremely nervous for some odd reason, and desperately wished she was under James's Invisibility Cloak. Come to that, she wished she wasn't even there – she wanted to be in her bed asleep. She had lain awake for at least an hour until she had heard the door quietly creak open and Dorcas come back into the dormitory. She had then lain awake for yet another hour or two, irrational thoughts about Dorcas murdering them all in their beds swarming through her head. Mary Katherine, who always got up earlier than all of them to go for a run, woke Lily up as she had requested when she got back around seven. Lily had dragged herself into the shower and down to the common room, where an equally dead-looking James was waiting. Wordlessly they exited the portrait hole and went all the way down to the second floor, past the classrooms (and Professor Kiser's office) and down an empty hallway. James had tapped a statue, said "Turkish Delight," and now it was moving. "He's not that bad, you know," James said, his tone slightly teasing. "But he's Dumbledore," Lily hissed as the gargoyle stopped moving and James stepped inside. "Don't you know what he's done?" "Come on," he said, motioning her to the hole. A moving stone staircase was spiraling slowly upwards, and James was already going up when Lily gingerly stepped on. "Of course I know what he's done," James continued from somewhere above her. "Who doesn't?" Lily had a bizarre desire to hush him, but she decided just to clamp her jaws shut and not say anything. At all. Until she was back downstairs. James was waiting for her on the landing before a huge oak door. He glanced at her before knocking loudly on it. A familiar voice called, "Come in!" and James pushed open the door. Dumbledore's office was the grooviest (to use Gwen's favorite word) place Lily had ever seen. Everything was whirring, ticking, or gurgling; the portraits on the walls were chatting; and a little baby bird on a large golden perch was squawking. "Ah! Mr. Potter, Miss Evans! What a lovely surprise!" Albus Dumbledore called jovially from somewhere above them. He was climbing down an intricate wrought-iron spiral staircase, a large book clutched to his chest. "I trust both of you are well?" Lily couldn't help but smile at the old headmaster as he came to a stop before them, eyes twinkling benevolently. "We're well," James said, jumping right into it, "but not everything here is." Dumbledore raised his bushy white eyebrows. "Is it not?" "Yesterday Lily and I received anonymous messages to be in the common room at one o'clock in the morning in order to follow someone, and we did." James paused, glancing at Lily. "Do continue," Dumbledore encouraged, "you have me quite intrigued." "The person …" Lily continued – she didn't want to give up Dorcas, not just yet, "the person led us to the secret passage on the fourth floor, behind the mirror – but we don't think they actually went anywhere, Professor, we just think they had a meeting." Dumbledore walked slowly to his large oak desk, looking thoughtful. He seated himself and then gestured to the two chairs before him. "Please, have a seat," he said, sounding infinitely more serious than he had before. "And tell me, who is 'they', if you please?" "We're not quite sure," James said carefully, sitting down in the right-hand chair. "They were hooded and cloaked, though, and I thought many looked like – well…." "Like Slytherins, sir," Lily put in, taking the chair on the left. "Although some – some weren't." Dumbledore rested his elbows on the table and clasped his hands before him. "I am very aware of these meetings," he said finally, quietly. "I thank you both for your investigation, however, and hope that you will continue to keep your eyes and ears open in the future." James was as dumbstruck as Lily. "You know about the meetings? Know that they're probably planning to be Death Eaters?" "I certainly do, Mr. Potter," Dumbledore said, and Lily could see his mouth twitch slightly at James's description of the persons in attendance of the meetings. "But, Professor, why haven't you done anything about it?" Lily demanded, angry at Dumbledore for being so calm. "They could – they could rise up, and – and-" "Let grown Death Eaters into the school or something," James finished for her, and Lily nodded vehemently in agreement. Another smile flickered on Dumbledore's face. "I assure you, my dear James, if I thought these certain people posed a threat to the school, they would be dealt with. As it stands, they are nothing but a group of children anxious to be rid of school and enter the adult world." Lily swallowed. "Do you – do you know who's in the group, sir?" Dumbledore looked at her, his eyes seeming to poke straight through her. He gave her a tiny smile and the hint of a wink. "I know many, Miss Evans." "But you still haven't answered the question. Why you won't stop them?" James persisted impatiently. Dumbledore shook his head. "Mr. Potter, you know as well as I that they would merely reconvene in another place. You sound remarkably like Professor McGonagall," he added to James. "She wished to be done with the group as well." James's eyes had widened at the comparison, and he seemed too shocked to speak, so Lily did. "The teachers know too, Professor?" "Indeed they do, Miss Evans. If the group were to attempt something nefarious on the school, I assure you it would not come as a surprise." Lily bit her lip, thinking. It was a relief to know that others knew, but on the other hand, she was starting to feel a bit embarrassed about making a big deal out of something that obviously wasn't. "I thank you once again for your desire to alert me with this," Dumbledore said, looking at each of them very seriously. "It shows much about your characters. And it also shows me that you both can't still abhor each other as you used to," he added with a smile. Lily looked down at her lap, flushing faintly in embarrassment. For some reason she had thought that perhaps their fighting hadn't reached Dumbledore's attention, which was completely ridiculous, since Dumbledore knew everything. "And, though I had hoped to schedule a meeting with the both of you at a more opportune time – I believe we are missing breakfast at the moment – I suppose now will do. I would like to briefly speak with you about what your plans are after leaving Hogwarts." Lily's brow furrowed, and when James didn't say anything, she said slowly, "I want to train to become a Healer, sir." Dumbledore bowed his head slightly towards her in acknowledgement. "An admirable profession, Miss Evans, and one I am sure you will excel at." Lily blushed with the praise and looked at James. He was staring straight at Dumbledore and said steadily, "You know what I want to be." Dumbledore met his eyes. "An Auror, Mr. Potter?" James nodded. Lily saw him swallow, and the knuckles on the hand resting on the arm of his chair were white. "Of course," Dumbledore said softly, sadly, the twinkle in his eyes diminishing. When he looked at Lily again it was with a tired, old face, the wrinkles standing out more than they had a moment before. "What I wish to ask you – and this is in complete secrecy, bear in mind – is that if, after Hogwarts, you would both like to join a society, a secret society that includes some of the most powerful witches and wizards of our time. We have all united in pursuit of one common goal – to stop Lord Voldemort and his supporters." He paused, his eyes looking past Lily at something only he could see. It allowed her to take a breath. He was asking her, Lily Evans, a Muggleborn nobody, to join his secret army? She felt a rush of – a rush of something flood through her veins, and she looked back up at the old headmaster. He was looking at them steadily. "I cannot stress enough how important the two of you would be to the society." He turned and focused on Lily. "Both of you." Tears started to form in Lily's eyes and she looked down. Albus Dumbledore thought she was important! Thought she could help him! "I would love to, if I can be of any help, sir," Lily heard herself saying calmly. "You don't even need to ask," James said quietly on her right. "I really had hoped you would both agree," Dumbledore said, and Lily looked up. His blue eyes were twinkling madly again. "Who else is in it?" James asked curiously. "Ah, you shall see, Mr. Potter, you shall see," Dumbledore said mysteriously. "But once again, I do hope you won't mention this to your friends. Many of them are being considered as well, but I haven't spoken to them yet." He beamed at them. "Wonderful, wonderful. And I think we all have time to head down to breakfast." Lily couldn't help the smile tugging at her lips. She felt almost exhilarated, as if she had been carrying something heavy around that was suddenly gone. She was going to help Dumbledore. "Professor," James asked as they walked towards the door, "what is this secret society called?" Dumbledore opened the door and bowed courteously to Lily. He said thoughtfully as she passed through the door, "Well, we haven't named it quite yet, but I do like The Order of the Phoenix, don't you?" ~*~*~*~* The following weekend the Slytherin Quidditch team slaughtered Ravenclaw with a three hundred-point difference between them. The Gryffindors celebrated as much as the Slytherins did – they had been tied with Ravenclaw for first place and were now in the lead, though Slytherin wasn't that far behind. The next match, Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, would take place the weekend after Valentine's Day. As for school, everything was slowly becoming much harder as the teachers loaded on homework to "prepare" the seventh years for their N.E.W.T.s, but Lily was managing. She was the most nervous about Defense Against the Dark Arts. Her blocking shield, though she was quick at getting it up, wasn't as strong as it should be. Last week she had walked out of class with a bad case of jelly legs because the shield had had a hole in it. The relationship between James and Lily had certainly changed, even more so since their curious bonding experience over the romp through Hogwarts in the middle of the night and the admission into Dumbledore's society afterwards. After a while, it became apparent to outsiders that things were different between the two – especially at a prefect meeting on the night before the Gryffindor verses Hufflepuff match. Lily had begun the meeting promptly at eight, wondering where James was. She was halfway through her speech on keeping the common rooms cleaner when James had burst into the Great Hall, the closest thing to a grin on his face that Lily had seen since before the Christmas holiday, and made a beeline for her. The prefects had watched in openmouthed astonishment as their Head Boy leaned down and whispered something in their Head Girl's ear, causing her to let out a whoop of glee and fling her arms around his neck. Lily actually didn't know quite what possessed her to hug James, but she knew it felt right at the moment; he had just told her both Gwen and Sirius were asked to be members of the society. They had met with Dumbledore earlier and were walking back together from the meeting when they ran into James on his way to the Great Hall and told him all about it. And so, she found herself with her arms wrapped about James Potter's neck on Friday evening and with his arms encircling her middle. It took both of them about ten seconds to realize, through their haze of joy, that they were indeed embracing each other – and in front of all the Hogwarts prefects, too. Lily was sure you could have fried an egg on her face when she stepped out of James's arms. She turned slowly away from him, eyes determinedly cast away, and took a deep breath before looking out at the assembled students. Everyone, to her slight surprise and significant embarrassment, looked like they had just been hit by a particularly large block of wood. Remus seemed quite like he was going to faint; Lily hoped absently that he had the sense to fall forward, not backwards, if he indeed did pass out. Her body felt tingly, and she was trying to get control over her absurdly light heart, which seemed to be threatening to burst out of her chest. She cleared her throat. "As I was saying before, the house-elves do clean up after us, but only in the nighttime. The things that accumulate over the day make it literally impossible, at times, to walk through certain parts of our common rooms…" ~*~*~*~* "I still can't believe it." Lily stopped dead and threw her hands up in the air in exasperation. "Gwen! Shut up!" Gwen pursed her lips and continued walking. They were on their way to breakfast the following morning and then would go on to the Quidditch match, in which Gwen was playing. "No need to be so cranky," she said archly. "You seem a bit too defensive, though, over such a small thing as a hug." Lily caught up to her friend in a flash. "And what is that supposed to mean?" she demanded, her face heating. Gwen had been shooting Lily pointed looks ever since Lily got back from the prefect meeting and Gwen had heard about the "incident", and Lily was about to go mad from them. In fact, everyone seemed to be looking at her a bit strangely. Gwen shrugged. "Oh, I don't know," she said, but her tone said something else. "Gwen," Lily said warningly. "You like him." Lily's eyes widened and she stopped dead. This time Gwen stopped with her. "Is that what you think?" Gwen raised an eyebrow. "Oh, come on, Lily, everyone thinks it." For a moment, Lily forgot to be annoyed. She stared at Gwen in open shock. "What?" "You know exactly what I said." "Gwen, all we did was hug!" Gwen looked up and down the corridor they were walking down and, finding it suitably empty, stepped closer to Lily and lowered her voice. "James Potter has always liked you, Lily, you know that. Everyone's started to just think you're maybe reciprocating his feelings this time around." Gwen turned on her heels and began descending a flight of stairs. After a moment's dumbfounded shock, Lily wheeled around and dashed after her. "But – but – I don't like him. You know that, Gwen!" Her friend shrugged again. "Sometimes I wonder, Lily. All that midnight wandering…." "It only happened once!" "Of course it did." "You're provoking me, Gwen Watson, and I want to know why!" Lily jumped down a stair and stood directly in front of Gwen, staring her boldly in the eye. To her surprise, Gwen said nothing right away, only looked at her with – sadness? "I'm sorry," she said quietly. "Come on, or I'll be late." Lily watched her as she passed by, thinking hard. She followed her down to the Great Hall, not a word passing between them, all the while pondering Gwen's attitude. Sadness – impatience – possessiveness? As they entered the Great Hall, Lily resigned herself to the only possible conclusion – Gwen liked James. ~*~*~*~* "And playing for Gryffindor are Potter, Cunvil, Martin, Proust, Black, Harkerator, and Watson!" The commentator, a cheery Hufflepuff named Jon, announced the Gryffindor team with as much gusto as he had shown for his own team minutes earlier. Lily watched from her spot in the stands as James and his team flew out onto the field, landed before the new Quidditch referee, Madam Hooch, and dismounted. James shook hands with Hufflepuff captain Lars Hummel before getting back on his broom and shooting into the air when Madam Hooch's whistle blew. He was in motion in seconds, and it made Lily a bit dizzy to watch him, so she focused on Gwen instead. She was soaring high above the game, eyes alert and searching for the tiny Golden Snitch that would end the game. Lily's mind wandered as she watched the tiny figure of her best friend flying with ease. Breakfast had been the most uncomfortable affair with Gwen that Lily could remember because all she could think about was, Gwen likes James, and she never told me. Now Lily was sure that was the case. Gwen's sudden, almost hostile, change in attitude, her reaction to Lily's "midnight wandering" (she had blanched in shock) – it made sense. Why else would she suddenly behave so oddly? "Lily? Can I sit?" Lily stiffened at the sound of Dorcas Meadowes's voice. She shielded her eyes and slowly looked up into the face of her roommate – Dorcas looked distressed and not a little awkward. Lily's treacherous mouth said, "Yes, of course," and her treacherous body moved over on the seat to make room for Dorcas, while her mind shouted, "No way, you traitor! Death Eater scum!" Lily focused her eyes to the game once she had moved over and didn't meet Dorcas's eyes, even though she could feel them on her. When Dorcas touched her arm, she flinched unconsciously, which made Dorcas remove her hand quickly. Lily sensed she was about to start talking. "Lily…." Lily turned in surprise at Dorcas's tone. She was crying freely, her tears soaking her Gryffindor scarf, shoulders hunched in misery. "Do you hate me?" she whispered, and Lily's heart sped up in alarm. She looked around; the people around her, who were mostly Gryffindors, were paying no attention to the sobbing Dorcas as Hufflepuff had just scored twice. Lily said desperately, "Oh, Dorcas, please don't cry." Dorcas turned her tearstained face to Lily and repeated, "Do you hate me?" "No, no, I don't hate you," Lily assured her hurriedly, and it was true. She didn't hate her – she just strongly disliked her. "You don't talk to me anymore!" Dorcas sobbed, burying her face in her hands again, her blond hair falling forward. "I t-tried to talk to you the o-other day and you ig-ignored me!" Lily swallowed hard and looked around, as if for assistance. Oh, dear…. "I know what you think," Dorcas said when she could speak again. She took her gloved hands away from her face and stared down at her lap. "You think I'm a Death Eater, don't you?" Lily paled in shock. What? How did Dorcas … ? "I knew you were following me," she continued miserably. "I saw you behind the curtain in the common room." Lily was speechless. "I-" Now Dorcas looked up, her brown eyes connecting solidly with Lily's green ones. "I'm not a Death Eater," she said firmly, clearly. "I'm the one that told Dumbledore about the meetings." Lily's mouth fell open. "You-" "Told him, yes," she nodded. "I don't know how you found out about them, but I swear, Lily," she said, taking Lily's limp hands, eyes filling with tears again, "I swear I'm not a Death Eater. I don't want to be one later on and I never will be one." "But then why … ?" "Dumbledore asked me to," Dorcas said steadily. "I was invited to the meetings because of my family, went to one, and woke Professor Dumbledore up in the middle of the night, I was so scared." She looked down, and Lily squeezed her hands reassuringly. "He told me he wanted me to be in something, a sort of society." Her mouth fell open in alarm. "Oh no, I don't think I was supposed to say-" "I'm in it too," Lily said gently. She felt like crying. How could she have ever doubted Dorcas? "Dumbledore's secret society." Dorcas smiled. "Good, I'm glad. I thought you'd be invited too. But anyway, he asked me to keep going to the meetings, like a sort of double agent. But I hate them, Lily, I hate them! I feel the whole time like they're all going to realize that I'm not really interested in killing and torturing Muggles and then turn me in to the Dark Lord or whatever. … God, it feels good to get this out loud!" Her last sentence was said with no little relief, and Lily smiled at her, happier than she could say. "Oh, Dorcas, I'm so proud of you!" she said honestly, and hugged her friend tightly. "And I'm so sorry I ever doubted you." Dorcas pulled back from the embrace with a slight smile. "It's been killing me not to tell anyone, especially Mary Katherine." She hesitated for a moment, and Lily gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. "I think – I think Mary Katherine knows, actually. I think she figured it out." Lily thought back to the anonymous note she received. Though the person's handwriting didn't match Mary Katherine's, that meant nothing with the Spy Quills you could get at Zonko's joke shop in Hogsmeade; they disguised your handwriting completely. She smiled to herself – she would probably never know for sure – and said, "Maybe she does." "I dunno," Dorcas said with a shrug, looking down. Lily could tell that it really did bother her not telling her best friend – it had been killing Lily not to tell Gwen about her admission into Dumbledore's society – and she squeezed her hands once more before letting go. "Don't worry about it," Lily advised her. "She'll know in time." At that moment, the Gryffindor supporters screamed their happiness as James scored, making the score seventy to sixty with Gryffindor in the lead. "Thanks, Lily," Dorcas said quietly, and Lily met her eyes with a smile. "It's no problem," Lily said. She peered down onto the pitch where Gwen had just suddenly gone into a steep dive, the Hufflepuff Seeker right on her heels. Lily forgot her troubles as she stood and cheered when Gwen rose from the descent with the tiny Golden Snitch clasped tightly in her hand. ~*~*~*~* After the game, Lily bade goodbye to Dorcas and went down to the pitch, wanting to walk back with Gwen and perhaps talk to James. She felt a huge urge to make sure he knew that Dorcas was innocent, not who they had thought she was. She also wanted to tell her best friend that she didn't care – she could like whomever she wanted and Lily would never, ever like the same person. Not that she liked James, of course, but just in case, she wanted to make sure Gwen knew it. She sat on one of the benches that were down on the pitch for the teams to rest on during time outs and watched as the students and teachers filtered out of the stadium. The players left the locker rooms at different times, and by the time the people Lily wanted to see came out, she was sure she had seen the entire Hufflepuff team pass by dejectedly. Lily got up and ran over to her sweaty, disheveled, but elated best friend when she emerged and hugged her tightly, taking care not to poke herself with Gwen's broomstick. Gwen was astonished, but hugged her back just as tightly. Lily whispered, "We should talk," and when Gwen pulled back, her blue eyes were questioning but she nodded. "Okay." "That was an awesome catch," Lily said seriously as James and Sirius Black caught up to them. Gwen flashed a happy smile. "Thanks, Lils." Lily turned and smiled at Sirius, who looked surprised, but smiled back. "Great job, Sirius," she said, before turning and forcing herself to look at James. Her traitorous blood felt the urge to rush to her cheeks, but she held his eyes. "You too, James." His eyes were steady and he inclined his head slightly. "Thanks." Sirius, with a not-too-discreet wink at Gwen, said, "Soooo, Gwen, why don't we go up and celebrate? I really think that catch should go on your top ten, don't you?" He slung an arm around her shoulders and started to tow her away; the look on Gwen's face as she watched Lily and James standing together reminded Lily of what she wanted to do. She turned to run after the two, but James caught her wrist. "Can we talk, Lily?" Lily's heart sped up. Oh, dear. She looked after Gwen, whose head was bowed slightly as Sirius rambled on, and then turned back to James, feeling slightly panicked. "I've got to-" "I just want to talk," he said, and Lily's protestations died in her throat. "All right," she said, and he released her wrist. "But first, I wanted to tell you about Dorcas. She's not a junior Death Eater or whatever you want to call them." James's brows furrowed and Lily went on, feeling more confident now that she was on safe ground. "She went to the first meeting and then told Dumbledore – that's how he knows." She looked around, just as a precaution, and lowered her voice. "She's a spy now for Dumbledore's secret society." James raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Well, you could've fooled me," he said. "How did you come to talking about this?" "She thought I didn't like her anymore," Lily said, feeling guilty, "which I suppose was true. But anyway, she told me she saw me back in the common room before I followed her." "That's what's handy about having an Invisibility Cloak." He was joking. He hadn't joked in too long. Lily grinned. "Well, not everyone is as lucky as you, Mr. Potter." James smiled – not full-fledged, but a big one anyway – and cleared his throat. "I'm glad that's all resolved. She's – better – than I thought. I want to ask Dumbledore about it, though, just to make sure. Is that okay?" Lily shrugged. "She knows about the society. D'you think that's enough?" She felt a bit miffed that James didn't take her word for it. "I mean, she told Dumbledore about the meetings. How else would she know?" "You're probably right, I just want to make sure." Lily shrugged again and snuck a glance over her shoulder; if they went now, they could catch up to Sirius and Gwen easily. "Should we-" "Hold on just a second," James said teasingly. "Unless, of course, you have a pressing engagement this afternoon?" Lily raised her eyebrows. "No," she said slowly. "Good." Lily watched as he took his broomstick from where it was resting on his shoulder and held it out. It took her a moment to realize he was handing it to her. "Wait – no." He smiled larger – it could almost have classified as a grin – and dropped the expensive broom onto the ground. "I'm your teacher, Miss Evans. The Quidditch teacher you never had. Now, say 'Up!'" Lily stared at him. "But I-" "Don't say you can't do it," James said patiently. "Hold your hand over it and tell it to jump up." Lily held her ground for a moment before reluctantly smiling and stepping up next to the broom. She held her hand over it and said confidently, "Up!" And, to her extreme and utter surprise, the broom did exactly as it was told and jumped all the way up into her hand. She was so amazed that she lost her balance and nearly fell over. "Very good, Miss Evans," James said as he gripped her upper arm and helped her to steady herself. "All right, there?" Lily grinned at herself and fixed a mock-anxious look on her face. "What do I do now, Professor Potter?" James grasped an imaginary broom and mimed mounting it. "Swing your leg over it, like a horse." Lily did so while looking at him curiously. "You've ridden a horse before?" James nodded. "My mother's uncle's a squib, and when he found out he couldn't go to Hogwarts, he decided he wanted to raise horses. My mother grew up riding them and she made me take lessons with him when I was younger. I still go out there during the summers sometimes." Lily nodded. "That's cool," she said, and smiled. "I don't know why I'm surprised." James smiled and shrugged and turned back to his imaginary broom. "Right, Miss Evans, enough small talk. D'you remember how to hold the broom?" "Erm – like this?" "Frankly, Miss Evans, I really wonder how you remember every Charm we did first year, and yet you forget how to properly hold a broom," James admonished. He dismounted from his imaginary broom and went over to Lily, who was clutching the handle and trying not to lose her balance and slide off. "Thank you for your encouraging praise, Professor," Lily said through gritted teeth. She tried to remain neutral as James stepped close and rearranged her fingers on the broom. "Right, now, Miss Evans, you know what to do. Kick off." Lily looked at him as he stepped back, and she turned then back to the broom skeptically. She sighed, told herself "What the hell," and pushed off ever so slightly from the ground. The broom rose a foot off the ground and started gently floating forward. Lily scrambled to keep her balance and, once she had, smiled in triumph. This wasn't bad at all! In fact, she was quite beginning to enjoy herself. Who needed to zoom around when you could gently float? "Having fun, Miss Evans?" Lily glared at James. He was walking leisurely beside her, hands in his robe pockets, doing his best to look bored. "Yes, thanks, I am." He shook his head in mock sadness and grabbed hold of the front of the broom, effectively stopping it. It floated slowly to the ground, and Lily tried not to breathe a sigh of relief when her feet touched solid earth. "Miss Evans, you shame me. When I said "kick off", I didn't mean to bend your knees slightly and push. I meant kick off." Lily glared at him even more. She gave him an arch look, gripped the broom, bent her knees exaggeratedly, and shoved herself off from the ground. She didn't know what she was expecting, but it certainly wasn't to go shooting off straight into the air at sixty miles per hour. She had just enough wits to come to a stop fifty feet above the pitch, but then could do nothing more. She was frozen. There's nothing between me and being squashed into the ground like a bug. James cupped his hands to his mouth and shouted something, but she merely shook her head. She clearly heard him laughing, and while the sound warmed her heart, she couldn't think of much else but her own misery at the moment. He ran off into the locker rooms and returned a moment later with a broom. As easily as you please, he jumped onto the broom and soared up to her, grinning like an idiot, shoulders shaking in laughter. "You didn't tell me what to do when I got up," Lily told him through gritted teeth as he drew even with her. This made him laugh even more as he slid onto his broom behind her, carrying the other broom under his left arm, which was also wrapped tightly around Lily's waist, and grasping the broom handle in front of Lily with his right. Lily wasn't too frozen in fear to feel the heat of James's body behind her, the comforting tingles that the arm around her waist was giving her, and the feeling of his warm hand overtop of hers as they soared down easily to earth. The second Lily's feet touched she slid off, let her knees collapse, and fell down into the short grass, eyes closed against the glare of the sun above her. A shadow fell across her face and she opened an eye. James was looming over her, his hair falling into his eyes, and he was still laughing. Quite without warning, Lily felt a bubble of laughter well up within her as well. Soon she was gasping for air, her stomach muscles straining as she curled up in mirth. James fell down beside her and they laughed for what seemed an hour, completely at peace with the world and each other. When her hilarity had subsided, Lily lifted up on her elbows and looked at James, who was still chuckling. "I told you," she said, and then fell back again, smiling at the sky. "I can't deny it," James said, turning his face towards her. "But dear Lord, if I had known you'd freeze up like that…" And he was off again laughing. Lily smacked him smartly on the head, which made him laugh harder, and said dryly, "If you ever interview for a teaching position here be sure I'll fight against it." "No," he said, getting his breath back, "no, don't worry about that, Miss Evans. Maybe when I'm old and gray I'll start teaching, but only then." They sat in companionable silence for a moment – Lily soaking up the marginally warm sun – until James broke it. "And you want to be a Healer?" Lily nodded, eyes still closed. "Yeah, I do." "Any particular reason why?" Lily shrugged. "I've always wanted to be a doctor, which is a Muggle name for a Healer." "I know," James said. "But Healing – why not just be a Mediwitch? A Healer takes longer to study for, doesn't it?" Lily smiled wryly. "I've never settled for the easy way. Bring on the books, I say. And why do you, Professor, want to be an Auror? Is it just because of…?" "My dad? Yes, mostly," James said, sobering up quickly. "But he never – he never really encouraged me in that. He always asked if I'd rather be a professional Quidditch player or something. I think he knew what was – what was coming." Lily reached out; she felt along the frozen, dead grass and slid her hand into his as if it were the most natural thing in the world. James threaded their fingers together and gently stroked the side of her hand with one big thumb. She wriggled a bit closer as inconspicuously as she could, all the while feeling her chest tighten and stomach flutter as she breathed; James noticed and scooted in closer until their shoulders were touching. And so they remained for the rest of the afternoon, hands clasped and shoulders touching, sometimes talking and sometimes just lying there. They spoke about their childhoods until James could talk freely about his father without getting choked up and Lily could talk about her sister without sounding bitter. It was Lily's favorite afternoon so far that year, lying there and enjoying the new sensations reverberating through her body. She was mightily confused, but one thought ran clear – she had never felt like that before with anyone. The sky hadn't ever been so perfectly blue and clear, had it? And it hadn't ever been that warm in February, she was sure. There had never been a more perfect day, had there? Then they fell silent and simply watched as the sun set over the lake and the sky deepened to a dark blue. As the sun went down, however, it got colder, and though Lily had a cloak, she felt a slight shiver pass through her at one point. Unhesitatingly James untangled his fingers from hers and put his arm around her; Lily moved closer so her cheek rested just below his collarbone. She couldn't help the sigh of contentment that escaped her lips as she dozed off. When she woke up again, it was because James was gently shaking her. The sky was completely black with stars dotting it everywhere, and it was cold. "We've got to go," he said, barely covering up a yawn as he sat up and held Lily upright, grabbing his broom. "Mmmhmm," she murmured tiredly, reaching for his hand, and together they stumbled in near darkness up the sloping lawn and to the castle doors. Once safely inside, James went over to the big grandfather clock to look, and Lily went with him – she was half afraid that if they stopped touching the evening would break – and James cursed with a grin as he turned around. "After eight," he said, and Lily giggled in astonishment. "Oh no, our friends are going to wonder, we've been out since one…." James raised an eyebrow as they shuffled across the flagged stone floor to the marble staircase. "They can wonder all they want," he said, and squeezed her hand. Lily giggled as they hurried up the stairs. James led her through all sorts of secret passages the moment they left the marble stairs, although this time it was a bit harder going with James's broom and their clasped hands. They let go only when they arrived at the short stairs that would lead them up to the small portrait hole and the drop down; James went first and then held out his hand to Lily as she dropped. "Dragonhide gloves!" James yelled at the Fat Lady, who was dozing lightly. She swung open without a word and allowed the two to pass. They crawled through the portrait hole and immediately clasped hands again. They stood in front of the hole for a moment, just looking at each other, and then James took a breath. The common room was not very full, and but for a noisy group of fourth years at the opposite corner of the room, Lily thought they were alone. "Lily, I-" "There you are." Lily's stomach dropped. Obstructed by pieces of furniture, she had missed the two raven-haired people sitting before the fire – Gwen and Sirius. Sirius was walking towards them, grinning slyly, and winked roguishly at Lily. "We were just about to send out a search party." Lily looked to where Gwen was standing, looking tired and a bit lost. She turned back to James, who was glaring at Sirius as if wishing him to turn into a pile of ashes, and squeezed his hand wordlessly before going over to Gwen. "Are you – d'you want to go up?" she asked with slight hesitation. Gwen looked her straight on and nodded before sweeping past towards the girls' stairs; Lily hurried after her, pausing only once to look back over her shoulder. James was whispering furiously to his best friend, who was doubled up in stifled laughter, but he happened to look up for a moment and their eyes met. Lily smiled at him slightly, turned, and rushed up the stone steps. Gwen was going up at a decorous pace and didn't even glance at Lily when she drew even with her. "Gwen – Gwen," Lily panted. Gwen's gaze was cool and controlled. "Had fun today, then?" "Well – I – that is-" "I saw you out the window, you know." Her tone was as chilly and distant as her stare, though Lily thought she detected a hint of sadness. "You looked to be quite enjoying yourself." "Gwen, I-" "But what I want to know," Gwen continued, as though Lily hadn't spoken, "is what happened to the 'lazy, inane, trouble-making, cocky, egotistical, immature bloody bastard' that you talked about so fondly just a few months ago." "But we-" "If I didn't know better, Lily Evans, I'd say you were in lo-" "Gwen!" Gwen stopped short and clamped her mouth together. Lily drew even with her on the stair and their eyes – which matched together at the same height – locked, Gwen's challenging, Lily's angry. "Stop it." Gwen's eyebrows flicked ever so slightly up, but besides that, she did nothing, just continued staring coolly at Lily. "You haven't been honest with me," Lily continued, as steadily as she could; Gwen's gaze was unnerving her. "You haven't, and you know it. Say it right now." A flicker of understanding went through her blue eyes, and she was silent for so long a moment that Lily feared she wouldn't speak at all. And then she swallowed and lifted her chin higher in the air. "I like James." "Like him?" For the first time, Gwen's steely resolve melted slightly and she closed her eyes. When she opened them again they glimmered with tears. "I'm in love with James." Lily swallowed. There it was, out in the open. Her heart felt like it was being torn in two and she closed her own eyes briefly, searching for strength. "That's what I thought," she whispered. They stood silently, each not moving a muscle, for what seemed like an hour, before Lily opened her eyes. A single tear was making its way down Gwen's porcelain cheek. Lily couldn't force her throat to talk. When Gwen opened her own eyes, Lily had to stifle a gasp at the depth of emotion hidden within them. "And he's in love with you," she said softly, painfully. Lily could do nothing but let her own tears run free. She knew it was true, knew he was in love with her. But as for herself – well, she wasn't sure yet. Everything she wanted to say was wrong, even the thing she knew she had to say – that she didn't love him back, that Gwen could have him. "I'm sorry," she whispered finally. Gwen nodded wordlessly and turned away from Lily up the stairs and to their room. Lily heard the door open and close, but she couldn't make herself move. She sat down on the cold stone and stared at the wall opposite until her eyes were blind with tears.
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