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Author: girlyswot Story: Had We But World Enough And Time Rating: Everyone Setting: Pre-OotP Status: Completed Reviews: 8 Words: 11,938
Disclaimer: Harry Potter and his world all belong to J. K. Rowling and I’m just grateful that she lets me play in them. Every morning, James would be waiting in the common room when Lily arrived. He’d pour her tea and smile cheerfully, saying, ‘Let’s get down to it then.’ James found that Lily was an excellent teacher, explaining things clearly and patiently so that he understood and remembered them easily. Lily discovered that James was much brighter than he ever let on in class, quick to grasp new ideas and always asking pertinent questions. He borrowed her files of sixth year notes and copied them carefully, reading through the neat pages of script with labelled diagrams and coloured headings. One morning he seemed so distracted that he kept forgetting things they’d done weeks ago. Lily stopped the lesson. ‘What on earth’s the matter?’ His mouth twisted. ‘Sorry. I… I don’t think I can make it tomorrow. Is that okay?’ He sounded so diffident, she hardly recognised him. ‘What is it? Are you ill? What else can you have to do at this time of the morning?’ In her attempt to mask her concern she merely sounded cross. He shrugged. ‘Sleep?’ ‘Right. Well, obviously we’ve been working you too hard,’ she replied, green eyes flashing. She stood up and began gathering her books. James reached out and took her hand, pulling her back down to her chair. ‘Lily, don’t be cross. Please. I’m really grateful for all this time you’ve put in. It’s just that there’s something I have to do tonight and I may not be back.’ ‘By six o’clock in the morning?’ Lily folded her arms and looked disapprovingly at her student. ‘What is it then?’ He looked down at the floor. ‘I can’t tell you, sweetheart. It’s not my secret.’ ‘Don’t call me that,’ Lily snapped. ‘Why not? It’s true.’ James was starting to feeling pretty annoyed as well by this stage. ‘Don’t be ridiculous. I’m not your sweetheart and I never will be!’ Lily fairly shouted this last while she picked up her bag and left the room, slamming the door behind her. ### When she arrived at the Potions classroom later, Lily looked hopefully across at James, wondering if she could offer to sit beside him and, perhaps, apologise for being so cross. The look he gave her was so harsh and unforgiving, so unlike himself, that she turned swiftly and found room over by the girls. She made so many uncharacteristic errors that Professor Slughorn felt obliged to take her to task for timewasting. ‘I’m sorry, sir.’ Lily shook her head, desperately trying to shake off the misery that had descended. Snape was looking over, evidently enjoying watching the model pupil being told off. She cast an anguished glance towards James, but he had his back to her, carefully stirring his cauldron while adding drops of cuckoo spit. Looking round for James at supper, Lily could only assume he’d eaten early and swiftly, for there was no sign of him or his friends. Sighing, she headed for the library and worked methodically through a series of Arithmancy problems sufficiently tricky to push all other thoughts from her head. Pleased with herself, Lily finished the homework and headed for bed at ten o’clock. Automatically, she reached out to set her alarm for five thirty, before she remembered. Then, of course, she couldn’t sleep at all. James’s kind face, looking at her with so much anger and bitterness, kept coming before her eyes, no matter how hard she tried to banish him. She must have drifted off eventually, for she woke with a start, panicked because her alarm hadn’t gone off. She reached across. 05:29. Oh good, another warm minute under the bedclothes. Then James’s angry voice floated back into her head, ‘Why shouldn’t I call you my sweetheart? It’s true.’ Oh James, I know, she admitted to herself. And now I’ve blown it. Unable to get back to sleep, Lily dressed quickly and took a book down to the common room to read before breakfast. She was curled up on the sofa, toasting her toes by the fire when she was surprised to hear people coming in through the portrait hole. Sirius Black. Peter Pettigrew. Remus Lupin. And… her heart started to beat a little faster… James Potter. They were talking to each other, laughing quietly. They hadn’t noticed Lily, so she curled up a little more tightly behind the sofa until she heard their footsteps disappear up the boys’ staircase. ‘Lily?’ He’d come back. She sat up and put her book aside. ‘I woke up. And then I couldn’t get back to sleep so I came down. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.’ ‘I’m not worried.’ But he still looked… distant. ‘I wanted to apologise yesterday,’ she tried. ‘I’m sorry I was so cross.’ He smiled briefly. ‘Me too. I’m glad you’re here. I really like starting the day with you.’ Lily looked at him and loved him. She stood up, shaking her hair out and going over to the window. James looked at the morning sun shooting off her auburn curls and felt his heart burst. ‘Did you know there are deer in the Forbidden Forest?’ she asked, He laughed at the incongruity of the question. ‘Are there?’ ‘Yes. I was looking at the sunrise a few minutes ago and I saw the most magnificent stag on the edge of the forest. Standing still as if he was waiting for something. He was quite… beautiful.’ James’s face softened. ‘I think you’re beautiful, too.’ She hid her face. ‘Do you?’ she asked quietly. ‘Oh yes.’ He put a finger under her chin and lifted it until she was looking straight at him. ‘Quite beautiful.’ He put his arms around her and she let him hold her very close to him. ‘It’s the trip to Hogsmeade on Saturday,’ she whispered. ‘Is it?’ he replied, politely. ‘Aren’t you going?’ She tried not to sound too put out that he hadn’t immediately asked her to go with him. ‘Maybe. Look, I have to go. I must have a shower before breakfast. See you later, sweetheart.’ It didn’t even occur to her to tell him off this time. ### ‘Are you coming with us on Saturday?’ enquired Angela on Thursday evening in the common room. ‘No,’ replied Lily, one eye on James Potter who was sitting on the other side of the room, laughing at something Sirius Black had just said. ‘I think I’ll stay and finish that Arithmancy homework. It’s so much easier to think clearly when it’s quiet.’ Angela’s eye followed Lily’s gaze. She shrugged knowingly and said, ‘Please yourself.’ Most of the Hogwarts students left promptly at two o’clock to make the most of their Hogsmeade trip. At quarter past two therefore, when the last stragglers had gone, James Potter took his bag of books and headed for the library. Spotting his target, he went over and set himself up at the desk opposite Lily. She looked up briefly and nodded at him, unable to conceal her surprise. James worked steadily, completing his Defence against the Dark Arts essay and making good progress on his Transfiguration homework. Every now and then he glanced across at Lily but she was absorbed in her work, her tongue held between her teeth in concentration. She looked adorable. By half past three he was bored. Lily was frowning so he leaned across to see what she was struggling with. ‘Grindylows,’ he whispered. ‘I’m sorry?’ ‘Grindylows. The only way of being sure whether a body of water contains a leviathan is to look at the Grindylows. If their teeth are bared and they’re darting around even more nervously than usual it’s a sure sign.’ Lily looked at him in amazement. ‘Right. Thank you.’ ‘Come on.’ He took the quill out of her hand. ‘You need a break.’ ‘Nonsense.’ He smiled. ‘Just ten minutes. Even you can spare that.’ Helplessly, she gazed up at him, seeing the dark hair that stuck out in all directions and the warm hazel eyes and the mouth twitching with laughter. ‘Come on,’ he repeated, and this time she didn’t demur. He took her up to the roof. When she shivered, he wrapped his scarf about her neck. It smelt deliciously of him. Miraculously, there was a thermos of hot tea and a tray of buttered crumpets waiting for them. ‘Your house elf?’ He nodded. ‘D’you want honey or jam?’ ‘Honey, please.’ The crumpets were delicious. Lily ate two but refused any more. James grinned and finished the plateful. ‘More tea?’ ‘No, thanks.’ James poured himself a second cup while Lily watched. ‘What were you planning to do after school?’ he asked idly. ‘If I got the grades, I was going to apply to the Academy in France. I’d like to be a teacher one day. Both my parents are teachers you see, in Muggle schools, of course.’ She said the last phrase confidently enough, but James saw the anxious look in her eyes. ‘Yes, of course,’ he answered casually, handing her a mug of hot tea. ‘It must be extraordinary, going home to that after being here. Like living two lives.’ ‘Yes. It’s hard, really. They don’t understand so I try not to talk about it much. But it’s hard when all my cousins and my sister are talking about their schools and asking me about mine and I don’t know how to explain. And having to remember a whole lot of different ways of doing things…’ ‘I’d love to see your Muggle home, one day. To see what it’s like. Meet your parents.’ She stared at him, amazed, not just at what he’d said but at the genuine understanding in his voice. ‘What about you?’ she asked, realising that she had no idea what his answer would be. ‘What about me?’ he replied with a grin. ‘What would you have done next year?’ ‘Played Quidditch, I hope.’ He shrugged. ‘I had a trial lined up with the Cannons next month. They’re looking for another Chaser to join the squad.’ ‘Oh.’ It became impossible to find anything to talk about. Lily wondered whether she should just get up and say she had to go back to work. James came to sit beside her and picked up her hand. ‘Your hands are always covered in ink.’ he told her. She laughed. ‘Yours are always covered in mud.’ He smiled. ‘I like you, Lily Evans.’ Lily looked away, not sure if he meant what she thought and not sure what she thought about it if he did. He put up a hand to her chin and pulled her gently back to face him. ‘I really like you, Lily.’ Then he kissed her - and although she thought about pulling away, she knew she didn’t want to. After a moment he raised his head slightly and smiled. ‘All right?’ She began to smile back, then remembered all the other girls she’d heard about, all the stories. ‘What is it? Why are you looking like that?’ Lily moved away and began to fiddle with her hair. James stopped her, taking her hands firmly in his. ‘Didn’t you want me to kiss you? Look, you only have to say so and I won’t do it again, I promise. Only tell me what I’ve done to upset you.’ ‘I don’t know,’ she began feebly. ‘Yes, you do.’ She looked into his uncharacteristically serious face and felt that perhaps she could trust him. Only… ‘What about all the others?’ she blurted out. ‘What others?’ He looked genuinely bemused. ‘You know. All the other girls that you’ve…’ ‘Oh. Them. But they weren’t anything. Most of them weren’t even real.’ She raised a sceptical eyebrow at him. ‘I mean, they were real but nothing happened. Just talk, to impress the boys. And them the girls, I suppose. And yes I did kiss a couple, but just for fun. Nothing serious. I promise you, Lily. There’s been no-one like you.’ She regarded him thoughtfully for several minutes, then nodded. ‘All right?’ he asked again. ‘Yes.’ He leaned forward again to kiss her, and she remembered something else she’d been worrying about. ‘Why didn’t you kiss me on Thursday morning?’ James laughed. ‘Did you want me to?’ Lily blushed and nodded. ‘I hadn’t cleaned my teeth,’ he muttered. She looked at him for a moment then burst out laughing. James joined in and then kissed her open, laughing mouth. Instinctively, Lily curled closer towards him. ### Much later, Lily was sitting on the parapet, safely held in James’s strong embrace. Her head leaned against his chest and he was stroking her hair. ‘I’m sorry,’ she murmured. ‘What on earth for?’ ‘Oh, you know. All those years of not liking you. Turning you down every time. Enjoying being cruel to you when you always stuck up for me.’ ‘Laughing at me. Telling me what an idiot I was. Making fun of me in front of as many people as possible. Yes, I think you have a lot to be sorry for.’ James looked at her meditatively. ‘What did you think would happen?’ She sounded genuinely curious. ‘Did you know I’d give in, in the end?’ He hugged her. ‘In my saner moments, I was sure of it. You did like me, you know, always. I knew it even when you weren’t admitting it even to yourself. But lying on my bed at night sometimes, trying to get to sleep, remembering some of the things you’d said or the dagger looks you’d given me… well, then I wasn’t quite so confident.’ ‘Didn’t you ever just try to get over it?’ ‘No, never.’ He was genuinely shocked. ‘Why would I want to get over the most beautiful, cleverest, sweetest girl I’d ever met?’ He kissed the end of her nose. Lily shifted round so she could kiss him properly. ‘I do like you, James. I hated having to admit it, when I’d been so against you for years, but…’ she gritted her teeth. ‘I was wrong.’ ‘Bravo!’ he cheered. ‘Well said. Although, if we’re being entirely honest, I will admit that I was definitely an idiot in the first, second, third and fourth…’ ‘And fifth,’ put in Lily. ‘All right, and fifth years.’ ‘And quite a lot last year.’ He grimaced. ‘Can we perhaps draw a veil over last year?’ ‘It doesn’t matter, any more,’ she replied contentedly. ‘None of it matters.’ James murmured his assent and held her closer. ‘Look, let’s have a holiday tomorrow.’ He drew a finger gently around her jawline. ‘You’ve been working too hard and so have I.’ Lily looked doubtful. ‘I’ve got that Transfiguration essay, and I haven’t finished the Defence Against the Dark Arts homework yet.’ ‘Do it now. Come on, we’ll go back to the library and you’ll finish your essays and then we’ll take a holiday tomorrow.’ He looked so excited and happy that Lily couldn’t resist him. ‘Good girl. Meet me in the common room at six. Oh, and wear something warm.’ Instinctively she pulled his scarf tighter round her neck. ‘What? Where are we going?’ ‘You’ll see.’
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